One thing about being a therapist is that I get to meet people from different walks of life and backgrounds. While everyone comes to see me for different reasons, sometimes I hear similar sentiments echoed my multiple people. I’ve met with a lot of people who are stressed out because of their adult children who are living in their home. Many times these are devoted parents who have attempted many times to help but they are at their wits end because they truly believe that their adult children in their 20s, 30s and 40s never intend to leave. As expected, there’s often a lot of clashing as the adult kids want to be respected and do what they want to do while the parents feel inconvenienced and many times feel obligated to make some sort of rules or give a move out date. Some of this is truly due to the economy as it can be harder to get a good paying job and the cost of housing continues to rise. Sometimes people have no other choice than to move in with family and save money. But there’s another group that doesn’t see the need to move out because it’s comfortable. In these situations the adult child usually refuses to get a job and the parent feels helpless because they don’t want their child to be homeless. In the cycle of life there’s a time ideally where the parent and the child switch roles as being the caregiver for each other. I’ve met many parents who desperately need help from their children but the switch has never been made and instead they are giving all their resources and money to their children who aren’t appreciative and it’s at the parents’ detriment. However the parents refuse to do anything because it’s their children and they feel obligated to care for their (adult) able-bodied children for as long as they are alive. The endless cycle continues because neither adult child or parent wants to make a different or a difficult decision. It’s definitely a phenomenon that I would love to do more research on at some point.
I hate moving but I love traveling. There’s always more to think about when you’re relocating and carrying your belongings with you. A little more than a year ago I gave up my apartment, put my stuff in storage, and moved across the country for an adventure. More recently I’ve moved back to my home state and into a new apartment. I love my own space. One thing that’s been helpful in all my moves through the years is that I have a great mother who always wants to help (take over). I’ve flown her in to help me out because I’m on a tight deadline. She’s amazing at being organized but bad at listening to instructions. She likes the moving in process and will inevitably bring in things she likes with the explanation that I don’t have to like them but she’ll use them when she visits. It’s a fair price to pay for the assistance. I don’t know where I’ll be next but maybe soon I’ll put down some roots.
I’ve made so many decisions since I moved back the South. Where I was going to live, what I was going to do, where I wanted to go, etc. In addition to starting a new job, I’ve also been tasked with keeping up with another job I have and simultaneously getting another two jobs off the ground and running. The thought of totally working for myself has always scared me to an extent. As an unmarried single person, there isn’t even the “safety net” of a spouse who could hold me down while I got something off the ground. I remember reading a quote that said entrepreneurship is like jumping off a cliff and building a parachute on the way down. The thing about building a location based business is that you have to be willing to put down some roots in order to build up some clientele and network. It isn’t something that happens overnight and it takes some deliberate effort. But maybe it’s time to do something different and consider settling down for a change. While I love the idea of some stability, I also hate the feeling of being stuck without a good reason. And if I have to settle down I want it to be close to a beach where I can see and swim with some dolphins. But the truth is that if I’m taking the fairly big step of renting an office, then I need to do something that actually justifies the monthly fee that I’m paying. Logistically, having even two private clients a month would pay for the office itself. Two people out of a city of several million doesn’t sound too bad. It just means that I need to be strategic and market appropriately. Maybe it’s time to step out and do something different. I don’t love the idea of working for other people for the rest of my life.
I honestly can’t believe that the month of May is here. It seems like January was just yesterday. There’s so many things that I want to accomplish this year and none of them seem quite feasible with a normal 9-5 job. So we’ll see what happens. I think it may be time to move back across the country and do something different. I’m definitely greeting this next half of the year with a greater sense of purpose and desire to travel more–or at least spend less time working. Just gotta keep pushing.
I have to say that living out a suitcase makes you really think about your life in detail. Moving to a new place is something that everyone should experience at some point. It’s absolutely exhilarating, exhausting, and downright scary to move across the country, get a new place and start a job within 72 hours. Living out a suitcase really makes you think about the value that a lot of people put in material things. While I miss cable, feeling somewhat stable, and coming home to my dog every day, I’m glad that I’m doing something different. I have a job that I can quit in 12 weeks without any hard feelings and an opportunity to do it again as much as I’d want to. I don’t miss paying rent and it’s cool driving around exploring. Despite a horrific new schedule and the uncertainty about where I’ll live next, I’m ok.
This week has definitely been interesting to say the least. I’ve always hated packing things up and I was spared this mind- numbing activity by my wonderful mother who consented to be flown in from across the continent to help me pack. I had forgotten how much time and energy goes into moving considering the fact that I haven’t moved in almost 4 years. College was one of those times where I always felt like I was dissembling my life every four months when the semester ended and I used to hate having to pack while studying for finals. When I got a letter in the mail informing me of a raise in the rent I decided it was time to look at other housing options. While I love the idea of a new environment, the actual execution of packing and looking for a new apartment was very daunting. One of my retirement activities needs to be scrapbooking because I like to keep small and insignificant mementos that end up in random shoeboxes stored away. The thing about moving is that it takes some adjusting. You have to find all your favorite things, arrange your kitchen and then change your address on everything. As much as I love being spontaneous and doing new things, I’m also a creature of habit and I don’t like moving once a place becomes familiar. And while the new place qualifies as an “I made it” sort of place with many of the coveted amenities of apartments, it’s still unfamiliar and weird. I think that one of the reasons moving is stressful is because people are required to adjust to a new environment. They no longer sleep and eat in the same place. It takes some getting used to. I’ve put off buying any furniture for the past 3 years so maybe it’s time to get that done.