Internal Integrity

Lately I’ve been on this health kick. Technically I probably shouldn’t call it that because it’s a lifestyle change and I’m consciously being more intentional about making healthy choices. It’s been a very very very challenging six weeks but it’s been good to see some of the results I’ve been wanting. Through this process I’ve been reminded of how important having discipline is to daily life. This was a reality that I also faced last year when I had to get my shit together and finally finish my dissertation. Nothing would be written unless I stopped making excuses and actually sat down to write and became intentional about doing so. So here I am again tapping into that same part of myself to improve and to consistently workout. I thought about the concept of internal integrity and how crucial it is to achieving success. It means that you keep the promises that you make to yourself.  Self talk is one of those things that impact us even if we don’t necessarily always consciously realize it. Our actions and emotions are closely tied to what we tell ourselves and our internal dialogue. Internal integrity means that you are a person of your word and that you follow through–even when you want to change your mind about a course of action because you’ve already said you’d do it. A great example of this is the fact that I decided to juice for three days and while I absolutely hated it, I stuck to it because it was what I had promised myself I would do. It was hard but I knew that I could do it because I’ve had to discipline myself in other areas of my life. The mind is a powerful tool and I personally think that it’s important to make a practice of making decisions that have a long term positive impact even if they cause short term discomfort. It’s those types of decisions that pave the way for long term meaningful change. I don’t know if the process gets easier but I hope eventually that it does.

The Single Tax

For the past few days or so, my mind has wandered to this whole concept of the single tax. Is it a real thing. I absolutely think that it is. There are so many situations where splitting the cost for two people is just cheaper in the long run than one person. The single supplement required for trips alone is just annoying. Why should I have to pay to travel alone when I have to do it for free every day? Rent would be so much cheaper if I were sharing a space with someone I actually liked and didn’t have to pay the full amount every month. You get ignored at restaurants because everyone assumes that you’re waiting on your party. The whole thing just gets old after a while. I don’t know if there is a way to escape it. It’s just one of those things that you have to learn to deal with. You have to think twice about going out in heels in case you have to run. You have to pay extra to park in an area that is well lighted or even forego it to use a valet service. There are multiple other small chores and duties that would be so much better with two people to deal with them instead of one. Life is funny that way sometimes. The very thing that would make your life easier causes so much stress when you try to go after it. I’m chilling for now.

WYD

I hate one word text messages. They seem to be so impersonal and they don’t serve a real purpose unless it is to end a text conversation. In the world we live in, effective communication is a lost art. People are afraid to express their real concerns or questions because they don’t want to be seen as too needy or nosy. The truth is that often texting becomes a substitute for a real conversation. I remember seeing a meme somewhere stating that you can’t get to know someone by only saying “hey” and “wyd.” Of all the text messages I get, those two annoy me the most. It speaks to a depth of laziness that is unmatched.  I feel so unmotivated to continue the conversation after that. It means that I am going to have to carry all of the intellectual weight of the conversation if I want it to be something substantial. Both of these text messages require me to text something that will continue the conversation and sometimes (actually most of the time), I don’t want that responsibility. I don’t want to answer a one word greeting with a trite question that ends in some cliche’ saying like “I’m fine,” or  “I’m good.” It sets the tone for meaningless small talk that doesn’t serve any specific purpose. There’s this individual who has been randomly reaching out to me via text for the past 7 or 8 months. But never once has this person actually taken the time to actually call me. Which means that responding to endless text messages without an end in sight is an absolute waste of time.  Whatever happened to purposeful communication with meaningful dialogue? It’s a lost art. There’s nothing like a good conversation about thoughts, dreams, and values. All that rich information is lost with the amount of “hey’s” and “wyd’s” that is thrown out there into the world. It’s really a shame.

Already

I honestly can’t believe that the month of May is here. It seems like January was just yesterday. There’s so many things that I want to accomplish this year and none of them seem quite feasible with a normal 9-5 job. So we’ll see what happens. I think it may be time to move back across the country and do something different. I’m definitely greeting this next half of the year with a greater sense of purpose and desire to travel more–or at least spend less time working. Just gotta keep pushing.

Some thoughts

Today was an important day for the nation and involved numerous emotions. While I didn’t watch the inauguration, I did see many of the posts on social media. I’ve never  been super optimistic and while it’s a nice idea to give this new administration a chance, the reality is that I think we’re in for a huge awakening. The people (or rather the electoral college) have spoken. It’s a done deal. My goal for this year is “Do better” and despite all the chaos in this world (that I can’t control), I am committed to improving myself and trying to make a difference in some way. While I don’t like the “play it by ear” life, it sure beats the traditional 9-5 with no end in sight. The truth is that we all need to be on the same page and commit to being an advocate to vulnerable populations who may not have access to the same resources. Knowledge is everything and I think that we have a duty to speak on behalf of those who don’t have a seat at the table. While I wish it was an easy process, the truth is that it isn’t. We’ve just moved back decades as far as progress and it’ll take a lot to get to where we need to be. Let’s all do better people.

Experiential Learning

A lot of my posts this year have been about making choices, trying new things and following through. Recently I had the chance to experience the results of a pretty deliberate choice that I made. I had to go against a lot that had been engrained in me since childhood and also through adulthood. Going off the beaten path of what was expected and doing my own thing. I’ve always wondered what life is like for those who adhere to a specific set of values and morals all their life without even considering that other people live by other sets of morals and are completely fine. Some people have a need to learn by experience. They don’t want to take any one else’s opinion because they want to know for themselves. I think I’m one of those people. While I can fully agree with vicariously learning in order to avoid life altering pitfalls, there’s something to be said about having a personal experience. Many times we can be so quick to take someone else’s word for it without being willing to investigate it ourselves. In my opinion, nothing good ever comes from taking someone’s opinion as truth without critically thinking about it for yourself. There’s a quote I read not too long ago that said “Question everything.” In the world we live in, thinking is essential. In addition to that, the ability to see things though a different perspective can serve as a conduit for new experiences and opportunities that others miss.