First, I guess I should preface this by saying that this is a continuation (ironically) from the post I wrote exactly a year ago today. For those who haven’t read the first post and are too busy to search my archives,  the basic assertion of the post was that sometimes our loneliest moments in life are when we are happy and don’t have anyone to share our happiness with. Fast forward to today, exactly a year later. In the last two weeks or so I’ve experienced the much anticipated results of the past two years of work towards various professional goals. The word “work” in the context pretty much means blood, sweat, and tears. While in some circles, these results might be called accomplishments, the truth is that they have come because of a consistent, dedicated, and focused effort toward goals. Fighting through lack of sleep, feeling stuck, and even being inconvenienced because I had priorities that I was not willing to budge on. While those days have not ended, I’ve reached a rest stop of sorts on the highway of my life. A chance to take a breather, refresh and reflect on the progress made towards the destination. As someone who works frequently with people who know how to talk a smooth game, I’m really big on the understanding piece. Anyone can say “congratulations,” but it’s a totally different thing to say that word with an informed understanding of the work and dedication that was necessary to reach that point. Words of affirmation or endorsement seem rather shallow when looking at it from that perspective. Nevertheless, it’s important to remember that many times these words of affirmation come from a good place and good gestures shouldn’t be ignored. Regardless of whether or not they are informed words of affirmation. However, it’s my opinion that while congratulations and words of affirmation after accomplishments can be great, there’s no substitute for these same words coming from someone (or some ones) who have an informed understanding of the journey as a whole. People who know the amount of work that was put into the endeavor and the setbacks, stressors, and discouragements that were overcome in order to make the goal a reality. 

The title of this article really caught my attention. Mostly because I know a lot of people (myself included) who sometimes doubt their progress. The thing about progress is that when it happens really slowly it’s hard to tell that it’s actually occurring. One thing that stood out to me was the fact that you know you’re succeeding when you can celebrate the successes of others. So many people are unable to genuinely congratulate and give compliments because they are jealous or envious of the person they are congratulating. The thing about this is that it’s pretty easy to tell that someone isn’t genuine when they are congratulating you. Also, the one about goals you’ve accomplished stood out to me. It’s great to have goals but it’s even nicer to actually have them fulfilled. Overall, the article was a pretty good read. While I didn’t necessarily agree with all 20 points, there were some interesting concepts that made you think. 

I usually don’t comment on particular bits of news but this one has really caught my attention. There are so many opinions circulating around what happened. I’ll be brief sharing some of my thoughts. The truth of the matter in my opinion is that there is a lack of value on human life. This is a problem that happens all across the world. However it became especially apparent this past week. The fact of the matter is that we still live in a racial society. We are divided by class, economic status, education, skin tone, and a host of other things. Black people have been killed by people in authority of other races for centuries. Literally centuries. This stems from a lot of things and also mindsets that have not changed. It’s not a problem that’s getting better despite some claims that we live in a post-racial society. We don’t. Stories like this should serve as proof positive that society still has a huge problem with blacks. There is no reason why someone who has sworn to serve and protect to shoot someone who is unarmed 8 to 10 times. Driving, walking, running, playing music, or being out your house at night while black should not be an offense punishable by death. Ever. However, while the solution involves bringing attention to these murders, it also involves holding people accountable for their actions. Not excusing them because of some flimsy excuse about being threatened or reporting that the person killed was a “thug” or some other type of  evil person that apparently did not deserve to live. A black man who is pulled over by the police should not have to wonder if he’s about to die for some petty reason at the hands of the officer. It’s unfair, it’s inexcusable, it’s wrong and sadly, it’s becoming normal. This satirical article demonstrates a snippet of the experiences that black males face at the hands of some in authority. 

I was recently having a conversation with someone about ambition and why it’s so rare in the world today. I like to ask people about their 5 and 10 year plans. Most of the time I just get a blank look in return but there are a few who can articulate the timeline of their goals. I think of ambition as a hunger or a push for more than what’s in the present. Ambition thinks long-term. I’ve met literally dozens of people who have had ambition that impressed me. They can communicate their ideas effectively and even put commas in the right place when writing. They constantly talk about their plans for the future. The families, the spouses, the jobs, and the dream life that they want to have. Their plans are flawless with timelines and dates by which they want to accomplish certain milestones. Yet, when you ask them about their actions and their implementation of their plan, they fall short. It’s easier to plan, strategize, manipulate, and set goals than it is to follow through on the implementation of them. Having ambition is great but it won’t do anything for you if you can’t put it into action. If you lack the follow through, the consistency, and the sheer determination to make your goals a reality you have wasted your time. There are so many innovators with ideas who will never do anything with them because they can’t follow through. You have to be able to not only plan to work but also to work your plan. I love having a 5 year plan and I use it to measure how I’m doing. But my 5 year plan means nothing if I’m not constantly making progress. If I don’t make daily steps towards fulfilling my yearly goals.  This is why it is so important to begin with the end in mind. Decide what you want and then work backwards. Break it up into small, manageable, and measurable pieces. But don’t fall into the trap of only planning. Take the next step and implement it. Work your plan and be consistent doing so. Someone once said that brilliance without discipline is mediocrity and that is certainly true. Too many people plan to fail because they fail to implement their plan. Don’t be one of them. 

The term “maximum benefit” often refers to the exhaustion of one’s health benefits of some sort. It can also refer to the ending of treatment because it has either been terminated successfully or it has ceased to be effective and there is a slim to none chance that the individual will benefit from further treatment. We’ve all had situations in our lives that have reached maximum benefit. One of the examples of this are old friends that you find yourself growing away from. It’s not that they’re bad people and it’s not that the friendship hasn’t been good. It’s just that the relationship has reached it’s maximum benefit. It can’t continue further without the expense of continuing growth. It’s at this point that a decision has to be made. Many times you just have to cut your losses and walk away because staying longer would no longer be beneficial in any capacity. This is a hard truth to accept. Especially if this relationship or friendship has become a habit. It’s not easy walking away from years of memories because you know you need to do something different. The familiar is comfortable but it creates a very small box that traps you. You can’t go any farther in the relationship because you’ve reached maximum benefit. It may not get worse but it most definitely won’t get any better. It’s in these situations that you need a paradigm shift, a change of perspective. Don’t stay in the same place or in the same relationship that has reached its maximum benefit. You’ll lose out on opportunities and better things because you couldn’t let go.