I think that in some way, shape, or form life is always in movement. Even when you feel that nothing is happening time continues to go by. Recently I’ve gotten an opportunity of sorts to achieve the last goal on my list for 2015. It’s funny how you can talk about how much you want something but feel differently when it’s finally in front of you. One thing I’ve learned this year is that some opportunities only come once and that sometimes you have to both recognize and act on them without having a lot of background information. Another thing I’ve learned is that every opportunity isn’t a good one and that sometimes you have to make a choice based on long term goals and not what’s in front of you. What a year it’s been.
Tag Archives: life
Be kind
One of the things that I appreciate about social work is that there is an abundance of things to do. You aren’t required to stay doing the same thing for decades at a time. There’s room to try something different and learn a completely new set of skills while still working in the field. One thing I’ve noticed is that while people are all different, they share a lot of commonalities as well. There’s a video that went viral recently where a lady was recounting her experience at a popular store. She observed a customer being nasty to a cashier that appeared flustered and to be having a bad day. After confronting the customer, the cashier shared that he had had a very recent tragic loss and was struggling to pay rent. The lesson from the story is that you never know what someone is going through so be kind to everyone. The holidays can bring up so many emotions for people as they remember loved ones they miss and re-hash old wounds with family members. It’s a time that many people are especially fragile and as someone who has worked in mental health, I’ve noticed there’s a increase in suicide attempts after major holidays. This isn’t an appeal for world peace (as much as we need it). Just a reminder to try to be a bit more patient and kind as you interact with people. You don’t know their stories.
Winter is here
Winter is almost here and it’s finally the Christmas season. To me it seems like Christmas is the holiday that comes around the quickest. Even if the year drags on, the time between Christmases seems short. This year I’m looking forward to less of a climate change since I’m now in a different geographical location I hope the winter will not involve scraping snow off my car at any point. But let’s be honest, the start of winter is an indication that cuffing season is yet again upon us. If you don’t know what that means, I’m sure urban dictionary will be happy to explain. Nonetheless, I think that people are more susceptible to get caught up in a whirlwind of emotions around this time of year. It’s colder, another person is another warm body, and warmth is essential. And there you go making allowances and lowering standards for something (or someone) you would have turned your nose up at during the summer or rather just politely refused. It’s during this time that some people made the sad decision to make permanent plans with temporary people not realizing that it was just cold outside and they really aren’t thinking straight. It is what it is but the nice thing is that eventually you’ll turn the heat off and once again use the sun for warmth and standards will raise once again.
Red Flags in Dating
My brother suggested that I watch this and must say that I agree with almost everything. There are so many times that people ignore red flags and they pay the price later. This one is more of a warning for guys. It’s a bit on the long side but kept my attention. We all know someone who fits the criteria for at least one red flag. I found myself watching and thinking of some of the people I know whose actions are portrayed at some point in the video. Emotional maturity isn’t always the easiest to find these days.
Game Day
A few months ago I had the opportunity to attend a college football game. To be completely honest, I still don’t know all the rules of the game but it’s still fun to watch. The game was held in a city I consider to be my hometown of sorts. I lived there for 8 years as a kid. I remember all the traffic because of the people in town for game day, but never attended myself as a kid so I went back a decade later for the experience. The first thing that shocked me were the hotel prices that were hiked up several hundred dollars per night on a game weekend. Thankfully, I had a more reasonable option. On the day of the game I rode into the general vicinity with a friend and it was a sight to see. Thousands of people flooding into the stadium all wearing a combination of the same colors. Tailgating was quite popular as well. People seemed to be in a very happy mood and the only acceptable greeting was “Roll Tide.” The game chants began on the walk into the stadium and echoed into the stands. Normally, I spend extra to get decent seats at sporting events, but this time I decided to forgo my usual practice and sat up in the “rafters.” You could still see, but a misstep would be guaranteed death because of the height if you fell. There were people all dressed up in heels and dresses and some just opted for jeans and a shirt. Everyone was united on a common purpose–cheering the team on to victory. The beginning of the game was a huge production with entertainment provided by the band. The game itself was nothing short of an experience to watch. The home team was obviously better and we won without the opposing team scoring any points. I thought of the fact that a lot of people attend weekly religious services without meeting the person sitting next to them. However, it’s easy to have a running conversation about the game with all the people around you. Despite the sunshine being unusually warm, everyone seemed genuinely happy to be at the game. I can’t wait to experience it again.
This Year
It’s funny how quickly time can pass when you’re having fun–or even not having fun. Time passes even when it seems to be standing still. In a short period of time I’ll officially be a year older and hopefully a bit wiser. It’s usually around this time every year that I get somewhat nostalgic and ask myself yet again, “what am I doing with my life?” The answer never seems to be what I want. However, this past year was a game changer of sorts. I posted a lot about change and making hard decisions all throughout this year and some hard decisions were definitely made. I traveled a fair amount that included trips to France, Mexico, and Greece. I started a job that I realized wasn’t a great fit. I started working nights and stuck it out for a while. One of the biggest lessons learned this year was the importance of being clear about what I want and going after it. I met some pretty big goals simply because of planning and being willing to step outside the box to make it happen. I had a huge disappointment that made me reconsider the direction of my life–as most disappointments do. Ups and downs are a part of life and this year was no exception. However, I’ve learned a lot and matured as a result of being willing to challenge myself and some beliefs that I previously held. I did a overhaul of my life and relocated across the country just to start from the ground up and begin building again. Definitely not something for the faint of heart but I think it’ll work out
Millennials on the job
I found this great article that I thought was especially relevant. You can read it here. I’ve have a variety of work experiences in my limited years of officially being in the workforce. One of the first things I discovered is that it’s nowhere as glamorous as the TV shows make it out to be. Yeah, it’s nice to be able to pay bills on time but in reality the day to day grind is typically pretty stressful. The author in this post asserts that it’s ok to get personal on the job. I agree to some extent because I know people who consider their coworkers to be extensions of their own family. It’s refreshing to work with a group of people you know well. However, it’s also nice to not feel obligated to invite your coworkers to events like your birthday party or wedding and be pleasant without sharing every detail of your life with those who work with you. The author of this article also mentions poor performance and culture as one of the reasons that millennials are frustrated. I think that a lot of people in my age bracket are realizing that having a job isn’t really all that it’s cracked up to be. Waking up at an ungodly hour on a Monday morning to slave away for the next 8 hours and then repeat for the next 4 days in a roll isn’t exactly the definition of having a good quality of life. Unlike many of the generations before me, I can’t imagine spending 40 years or more in the same position. Many young adults are more focused on doing something that makes an actual difference in the world instead of just clocking in. It’s more about the journey than the end goal (retirement) these days.
The importance of closure
Not too long ago I had to make a decision that was uncomfortable but had to be done. I believe in trying to live without regrets and I knew that not taking action would result in regret later. Closure is something that has always been important to me. While it’s a luxury at times, the ability to wrap something up with a nice pretty bow before it’s discarded. There aren’t any loose ends to wrap up. I’ve learned the hard way that it is worth it sometimes to be uncomfortable for a moment instead of having a lifetime of regret. Usually closure is something that’s done for me in some weird twist of circumstances and fate. The difference in this situation was that the responsibility rested solely on me. I had to step up to the plate. I think that having closure is better than carrying around something that we have no control over. It helps us to move on and accept change. No, it may not have turned out the way we would have chosen but there’s a certain peace attached to being able to accept, adjust, and move forward because a chapter of our lives has ended.
Marrying Up
I want to marry a rich man at some point in my life. I respect the people who say that money isn’t everything in life and I agree. However, I don’t want money (lack of it) to be an issue in my marriage. I think that relationships have enough stressors without financial ones. Money doesn’t solve all problems but at least it gives you a head start. If I have kids I want to be able to give them a better life than I had. While I didn’t grow up in poverty and my family was middle class, I always wondered what life would look like if we were better off. I recognize that there are sacrifices made when you are with a man who is ambitious and rich. Whether it means turning a blind eye to his wandering one or being the primary caregiver of the kids and the house. Life is never good 100% of the time and each family has their own challenges. I appreciate spontaneity but at the end of the day I want a partner who is stable and financially secure. This doesn’t mean that I want to be solely financially dependent on someone else but it does mean that I like the idea of someone else having my back if I need it. No, I’m not going to marry someone because of their bank account but their ability to provide will be taken into consideration. Not being “rich” is definitely not a deal-breaker because there are things in life that matter more than money at the end of the day.
Travel Reflections
I just got back from an international trip and had an awesome time. It’s always humbling and eye opening to see how people live on other parts of the planet. Aside from a few moments of genuine anxiety and heart racing panic about missing the flight home and being stuck in an airport in Turkey, the trip was a success. We had a great travel agency, met a lot of fellow travelers, and enjoyed some amazing food. A few things I learned: 1. Travel lightly–hauling a 40lb suitcase plus a duffle bag was hard and I didn’t need everything I brought.
2. Don’t be obnoxious– whenever I heard someone complaining loudly or whining 9 times out of 10 they were American. It’s embarrassing and gives Americans a bad reputation.
3. Get off the beaten path. Ironically the BEST Chinese food I’ve had in my life was at a small restaurant on a Greek island.
4. Talk to the locals. Some of the best suggestions and fun I’ve had has been the result of a local recommendation.
5. Make the most of the experience. Do as much as possible but spend your time wisely. You’ll still be just as jetlagged when you return home.
Alisha's Angle 