Sometimes I think that it’s easier to process through writing than it is through speaking. There’s the opportunity to delete, revise and edit in the writing process and talking out loud doesn’t come with those same privileges. I remember either hearing or reading somewhere about Reason, Season, and Lifetime people and I’ve noticed a similar phenomenon in my own life. It’s fairly easy to meet seasonal people. You cross paths with them while doing routine activities like going to work or attending a class. Being in a familiar place again has been eye opening and also challenging in a way that I had not anticipated. There’s something to be said about feeling the push and pull of relationships that seem to hover between the Reason and Lifetime. It’s one of those grey areas that can be a bit anxiety provoking because you don’t quite know what the outcome will be. There can be emotions that catch you off guard because the process is full of surprises along with disappointments. While you may have a preference, there’s not guarantee that the cards will play out the way that you want them to. The process isn’t linear because relationships and emotions aren’t linear and they rarely fit into a nice neat little box. The perfect solution in your head is at odds with the conflicting emotions in your heart. There is no easy answer because the questions are too complex. It’s almost like making a house out of cards and wondering which card will crumble the whole deck. One thing that I can appreciate is that the process makes you take an honest inventory of yourself in the context of relationships. Time can often be the deciding factor of which category the relationships will land in.
Not too long ago I had to make a decision that was uncomfortable but had to be done. I believe in trying to live without regrets and I knew that not taking action would result in regret later. Closure is something that has always been important to me. While it’s a luxury at times, the ability to wrap something up with a nice pretty bow before it’s discarded. There aren’t any loose ends to wrap up. I’ve learned the hard way that it is worth it sometimes to be uncomfortable for a moment instead of having a lifetime of regret. Usually closure is something that’s done for me in some weird twist of circumstances and fate. The difference in this situation was that the responsibility rested solely on me. I had to step up to the plate. I think that having closure is better than carrying around something that we have no control over. It helps us to move on and accept change. No, it may not have turned out the way we would have chosen but there’s a certain peace attached to being able to accept, adjust, and move forward because a chapter of our lives has ended.