Tag Archives: motivation

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Ten Steps to Excellence

While doing some very needed spring/summer cleaning I came across some notes that I wrote from someone’s presentation about four years ago. While I don’t remember their name, I do remember being more than slightly annoyed that the presentation took about two hours to get through ten points. However, in order to stay awake, I wrote down the ten points. And, I’m posting them so that I can continue throwing random pieces of paper away instead of saying “I should post this on the blog sometime.” Here goes:

1. Never be satisfied- Don’t be content with your present condition or position.

2. Be single-minded -Stick with what you start and be focused.

3. Don’t look back- Don’t be fixated by past experiences

4. Go Forward- Don’t procrastinate. Act. Set a date and get started.

5. Press On- Continue what you start

6. Be motivated from above

7. Adopt a mindset of a pace-setter. Go for something and don’t settle for status quo. Put the quo in the status. 

8. Draw inspiration from positive role models

9. Keep away from the wrong crowd and from people who make it their job to discourage you.

10. Keep your eyes on the prize.

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Give me a reason

Most of us have heard at one point or another is the fact that you can’t change people. Millions of hearts have been unnecessarily broken because their owners did not believe this fact. While I absolutely believe that this is true, I think that there may be some exceptions. The fact of the matter is that people can change each other. The point is that you can’t change someone by trying to do that. It makes absolutely no sense being in a relationship with someone because you think one day they’ll see the light and change for the better. The truth of the matter is that sometimes it’s easy to underestimate the impact that people have on each other. Social psychology teaches that a person is shaped and developed by his or her social interactions with others. We have an impact of people–whether we like it or not. The chain effect of human interaction and friendship is often underestimated. Try to change someone and you’ll fail. Present someone with the opportunity to change in a way that makes them feel as if they aren’t changing–merely evolving, and drop some very subtle motivational hints. Insert some positive reinforcement and you have a much better change of getting them to change. While this example may be a little much (and manipulative), my point is that that there is a way to influence people to change in a way that makes them feel good about it. Winston Churchill said that tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell and have him look forward to the trip. But I digress. My point is that people need motivation to change and many times their relationships and interactions with others can serve as this motivation. People can change, they just need a reason. 

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Invisible People

I had a super productive day and was able to accomplish some tasks that were directly related to some professional goals of mine. I had the opportunity to catch up with and bounce some ideas off a good friend. However, the icing on the cake came from a random acknowledgement from an individual that I know. No, I don’t have a case of “he’s never met me before but in my head we’re married with two kids” syndrome. This isn’t an example of being ignored and then being acknowledged for no apparent reason. I really don’t care for that. It’s interesting how an action, behavior or comment from a specific individual can affect your day in a positive way. This person has no idea that their actions made my day. It made me think of all the times that we can unconsciously ignore people around us. How we can interact with people for years but not take the time to learn their names They exist, but they’re invisible to us. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people say that that some small thoughtful action someone did for them was just what they needed at a stressful time. I’m challenging myself to acknowledge someone this week who is typically ignored by others. A “thank you,” a nod of acknowledgement, or a smile. You never know what personal demons someone is struggling with. Who knows? An acknowledgement might make their day. It definitely made mine.

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My Favorite Non-Optimistic Song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bZfQEmG4i8

I’m somewhat of a music nerd that occasionally holds personal emotional listening parties in which I listen to music that depicts the emotion that I’m feeling. Happy, sad, angry, content, tired, or even annoyed. I think that most people have a go-to song that they use for motivation. Athletes sometimes even have a certain playlist of songs that they play before they have to go out on the field in order to get them into the mindset they need. This song is my absolute favorite song for when I’m feeling overwhelmed or upset and I want some empathy and also motivation. This song is perfect for me. I think that we’ve all had a “you can’t win” day. It’s a part of life. Whenever I have a day like that, I play this song and I instantly feel better. While the message of the song may not be the most optimistic, it’s a great depiction of how I feel when everything is going wrong. There’s no “everything will be ok” feel to this song but despite this, I still find it to be encouraging. We live in an uncertain world and sometimes life throws us curveballs that require us to regroup and adapt to unexpected changes. I like this song because it doesn’t pull any punches. There’s no rosy assertion that the sun will come out tomorrow. It’s pretty blunt. And sometimes that’s nice to hear when you’re upset or frustrated. It’s just an acknowledgment of how you feel. For me, it’s just a therapeutic intervention that never fails to cheer me up and helps me feel a little better on those days where nothing goes right.

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Staying Busy

Staying Busy

I saw this picture posted on Instagram and I thought that it was an excellent concept. It’s so easy to keep track of the mistakes of other people instead of working to address your own. This is especially true if you’re surrounded by incompetent and inattentive people. I try to remember that most people are doing the best that they can and don’t know any better. In my experience, it helps to stay busy because the more productive I am, the less time I use thinking about what someone else is doing because my focus is no longer on them. I think that if you start doing what needs to be done to improve your life, you also won’t spend as much time comparing yourself with other people in order to feel better. We’ve all done that in some way. Focus on what needs to be done in your life and you’ll have less time to focus on what other people need to do.

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The eyelids of love

There are so many definitions of love floating around. We’ve all heard of the term “falling in love” and I think that many times people get caught up in the hype that love is a feeling 100% of the time. I won’t deny that those fluttery butterflies in your stomach aren’t cute, but that’s not the most long term aspect of love. Many times people say that they can’t help that they fell in love with someone. While I’m not discounting their experience, I think that it’s indeed possible to pick someone to fall in love with. Doing so requires self awareness and self control. I’ve noticed people who turn a blind eye to huge hints about a side of their significant other’s character that isn’t pleasant. All in the name of love. They loudly proclaim that they can forgive any faults because they “love” this specific individual. The eyelids of love are closed. They’re “blind” and not thinking clearly because emotions have won the battle between reality and how they feel. I’m pretty big on planning and I like to know what I’m getting into before I actually commit to it. I believe that love should be the same way. Just like the human eye blinks as a way to moisturize and get impurities out, I think that loving someone involves seeing past certain character flaws (eyelids closed) while acknowledging the role that these flaws will play in the relationship (eyes open). I’m not talking about having standards that are so high that nobody will ever measure up. I’m referring to being able to look at both pros and cons with a balanced outlook that isn’t tainted by something as temporary as feelings. Let’s face it. Feelings change. That’s why you should know what you’re getting before you decide it’s what you’ve waited all your life for. Keep both eyes open but remember to blink.

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My Story of Overestimation

Growing up, I always felt that people were overestimating me. I honestly think that as long as homeschooling has been popular, there has been the opinion or perspective that homeschoolers are smarter than their traditionally educated counterparts. Now, whether or not this is true, I don’t know. And I don’t care. When I was little, people would immediately gush over me and my siblings and talk about how smart we must be because we were homeschooled. I grew up knowing that people expected me to succeed in life and become something because I was homeschooled. I didn’t particularly care for it because I found it annoying. Was I smart because I was homeschooled or was I homeschooled because I was smart? For the most part, I did get a chance to live up to the “smart” expectations–at least by society’s measurements. I was a senior in high school at age 15 and had the luxury of finishing high school a month after my 17th birthday and taking a year off to chill out before I went to college. In more recent years, I’ve gotten the chance to separate myself from the “kid genius” expectations and quietly do what I need to do. In fact, the tables have turned to the point where I’m often underestimated. It’s mildly annoying to have people around me assume that I’m still in college or that I don’t have anything going for me. Yet, I’d rather be underestimated than over estimated. Being underestimated can put you in a spot where you are your biggest competition. You have less time to invest in pleasing others or meeting their standards because they don’t expect you to do anything worthwhile. I’m not talking about constantly downplaying your accomplishments, but also not going out your way to be flashy and dramatic about all your future plans. If I ever become “big” or super successful I want it to be unexpected. Being successful doesn’t have to be advertised, it can be discreet. Underestimation isn’t a bad thing–it can even work for you.

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I think I’m the one

I think I'm the one

I’ve never been 100% down with the I’m-good-by-myself-and-I-don’t-need-a-man movement. However, I think that hanging your entire life on the idea that one day you’ll meet someone who fulfills your every want and need and will love you unconditionally forever is incredibly stupid. Notice I said ENTIRE life. We all have dreams and goals and having a significant other is likely to be one of them. I have heard numerous women talk about “him.” How “he” is going to find them and pay for everything, put them in a Benz or a Beamer, and love them. This picture made me laugh but also made me think at the same time. It’s important to know who you are and what you like. That way, if you get screwed over in a relationship and find yourself single again, you won’t have to start from scratch and re-find your identity. Just saying….

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Strategic procrastination

Strategic procrastination

I’m not going to lie, I can be lazy at times. I like to call it “strategic procrastination.” However, I agree with this picture because few good things come out of laziness. I think of laziness as doing absolutely nothing but strategic procrastination means that I just take a break and come back. Both require zero effort but only one is congruent with hard work and getting things done.

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It’s not all right, but it’s ok

Many of us are waiting with baited breath for the day that our lives will be perfect. We eagerly anticipate an existence where no one annoys us and everything goes according to plan. Sometimes this thought is the only motivation we have. Trouble won’t last always is a philosophy we’ve eagerly adopted  a means of coping with our current situation. One of the things I’ve noticed is that there’s so much emphasis on being positive that sometimes it’s hard to be realistic. Good days and bad days happen to everyone. Growth is always uncomfortable and adversity builds strength. When someone first starts to work out with weights, they usually start with smaller weights and eventually work their way up to larger ones. Life isn’t like that. It involves ups and downs without a set routine. As I’m doing some self reflection, I’m realizing that I need to be ok with where I am in life because its a part of something bigger. I can’t expect everything to go my way all the time. Sometimes I’m just going to have to roll with the punches and take it because I know that it’s making me a stronger person regardless of how I feel. After all, it’s not all right, but it’s ok.