Loving and losing (a song)

I first heard this song on an episode of Queen Sugar (great show by the way). The melody is simple and somewhat haunting but you can feel the emotion dripping from it. I think on some level that loving and losing is just a part of the human experience. You won’t be loved by everyone and your feelings won’t always be reciprocated. Needless to say, I wish I knew this song existed when I got dumped. It would’ve been therapeutic. I love how music can make you feel better because you feel like you’re actually understood for a change.

The shortened list

I remember sitting in a chair in my therapist’s office in college. As a part of my academic program we were required to go to a mandated number of sessions. I remember telling her that I wanted my future husband to be able to sing and that it would be a deal breaker for me if he couldn’t. Today I think of that day and chuckle to myself. While I absolutely believe that music talent is wonderful, there are so many more important qualities that need to be present. Having all his teeth would be nice for starters. Qualities like faithfulness, respect, ambition, attractiveness, honesty, and compassion. Life has definitely changed in the almost decade since then. I’ll have to admit that my dating experience up to this point hasn’t been successful; But I guess it’s been successful in the regard that I’m not stuck in a relationship with someone who isn’t suited for me. I still love music but it’s harder to find a guy that will call me than a guy that can sing. While there are a lot of fish in the sea, a lot of them are hiding behind the coral reef. Apparently.

Circles and Happiness

 

I haven’t posted a song in a while and these have been on repeat for the last few days. Both of these songs are good. I like MJB’s because she sings about what we all want–at least to a certain degree. Jazmine is singing about a cycle that you find yourself in that you can’t quite get out of because it’s a circle and implies that her happiness is dependent on getting out of the circle.

 

 

Major feels

via Wiz Khalifa – See You Again ft. Charlie Puth [Official Video] Furious 7 Soundtrack —

 

This song was played so many times that I almost got tired of it. Until I saw the movie. It fits perfectly into the tribute to Paul Walker. I remember being in the theater with my sister and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Even the macho guys were sniffling and trying to discreetly clear their throats. I can’t claim any sort of emotional attachment to the Furious series. I haven’t watched all the movies and I have no idea what the general plot is. But the song evokes emotions and just has a general feel of expressing sadness. It’s fitting.

Jilly from Philly

I’m a Jill Scott fan from afar. I say that because while I like almost all her music, frequently play her Pandora station and listen to full albums on Amazon music, but I can’t name more than 3 of her songs off the top of my head. One of them is the one that I posted. It was my go-to during the months I worked night shift and I used to play it over and over. I don’t know how but her songs feel like a warm blanket on a cold day. They are genuine, transparent and capture the human experience with a lot of honesty. I got the chance to see Jill in concert over this weekend and she was great. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a fan of music that not only tells a story but also transmits the emotion of the artist. That’s why I love Jill. Her music is warm and friendly reminding you of a godmother or beloved aunt that’s being honest about her life and experiences with love.

 

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What’s on repeat this week 


This song is on repeat this week. I’ve always been a fan of Ariana Grande’s voice. She has range but also a clearness to her tone that is refreshing. The song is pretty retrospective. It talks about spending more time in the rearview mirror instead of looking ahead. One thing that I like is that the words are honest. The song talks about acknowledgement for the good times but also a lot of regret. It’s not overly optimistic but still expresses hope for the future. 

Alisha-isms

These past few weeks have been unusually stressful for me. I feel like everyone has a certain level of stress that they manage and cope with on a daily basis. It’s like a “regular load” of sorts. And then there are the things that can’t really be helped. It’s like Murphy’s Law gone haywire. The past two weeks have been exactly like that. From my job doubling my caseload, to car troubles, to making a decision to separate myself from someone who didn’t have my best interest in mind–it’s been exhausting. I was talking to someone the other day and I said that I felt like building a fort in my house out of blankets and chairs, crawling in and never coming out. Very unreasonable I know. The theme of my life sometimes seems to be this song “You Can’t Win.” But one thing that I’ve learned is the importance of being flexible and resourceful when necessary. I have to admit that times like this make me miss the presence of a significant other in my life. I’m not complaining but it would be nice to have someone as an actual support who had a vested interest in my life and was there because they wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and would do anything for them but it would so clutch to not go to bed alone every night. I’ve never been one to flaunt my single status or to complain about it but there’s something to be said about the power of “we” versus “me.” Normally I would take this time to launch into some Pollyanna-like declaration that everything will be fine. Someone will come into my life who genuinely want to be in it and I’ll experience some degree of happiness in the future. But I’m just not feeling it right now. Yes, I’ll be fine. I’ve been living this way up to this point and a change isn’t anywhere on the horizon. I’ll continue to adapt and make adjustments as necessary but it honestly does just plain suck at times. But that’s my life. At least for now.