Listening seems to be a skill that has lost value over the past few years. While people hear, they very rarely take the time to listen. I remember experiencing this as a younger child of three. My grandparents were in town and I was riding with them. Consequently, they got turned around and I as the non-directionally challenged three year old proceeded to tell them how to get to our destination. For some odd reason, my grandparents decided that the word of a three year old wasn’t valid so they proceeded to ignore my directions and ask people around them. Finally after about an hour of driving they decided to give my directions a try and they ended up right where we needed to be. I say all this to say that listening is a lot harder than merely hearing. Listening involves putting your own agenda to the side and devoting your attention and focus to the words of the other individual. It means that you aren’t day dreaming about vacation or your grocery shopping list while they are talking. Listening gives you insights you wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. It challenges you to think differently and to develop empathy and understanding of the other person’s viewpoint or perspective. I’ve listening to many a person and heard what they were trying to say but weren’t really saying. Complaining about a spouse’s job or time spent with their friends sometimes meant, “I’m feeling neglected and want you to invest some of your time and energy in me.” Yet, their message wasn’t getting through because their spouse wasn’t really listening to what they were trying to say. Being deliberate in taking the time to really listen will make a difference. Guaranteed.
I’m somewhat of a music nerd that occasionally holds personal emotional listening parties in which I listen to music that depicts the emotion that I’m feeling. Happy, sad, angry, content, tired, or even annoyed. I think that most people have a go-to song that they use for motivation. Athletes sometimes even have a certain playlist of songs that they play before they have to go out on the field in order to get them into the mindset they need. This song is my absolute favorite song for when I’m feeling overwhelmed or upset and I want some empathy and also motivation. This song is perfect for me. I think that we’ve all had a “you can’t win” day. It’s a part of life. Whenever I have a day like that, I play this song and I instantly feel better. While the message of the song may not be the most optimistic, it’s a great depiction of how I feel when everything is going wrong. There’s no “everything will be ok” feel to this song but despite this, I still find it to be encouraging. We live in an uncertain world and sometimes life throws us curveballs that require us to regroup and adapt to unexpected changes. I like this song because it doesn’t pull any punches. There’s no rosy assertion that the sun will come out tomorrow. It’s pretty blunt. And sometimes that’s nice to hear when you’re upset or frustrated. It’s just an acknowledgment of how you feel. For me, it’s just a therapeutic intervention that never fails to cheer me up and helps me feel a little better on those days where nothing goes right.