I had what one might call a pretty rigorous religious upbringing. The mandatory family worships every morning and evening and attending church services weekly. My family was at church even when other people weren’t and we did hundreds of hours of volunteer services for the good of the church. Church was never a suggestion, it was a requirement. My parents (bless their hearts) kinda sabotaged my spiritual life, I wasn’t allowed to choose what day I could be baptized on and what my religious beliefs would be. It was already chosen for me. My beliefs followed me through high school and college due to the extensive foundation. After graduation from college, I moved 1000 miles away from home and continued to attend church regularly as I had been taught. I found a church and I was very involved. However, as I was going to my graduate school classes and working I realized that I really hadn’t taken the time to develop my own set of beliefs. I learned so much from all my classes and realized that my religious background was ill-equipped to address the questions that arose. I became a bit of a religious wanderer and joined a huge church with 7,000 members and immediately became very involved. I was there at least 4 days out of the week assisting various ministries. But I eventually decided that it wasn’t for me. Needless to say, my upbringing has made me think about how I would like to raise my future children and I have to say it will be much different.
Tag Archives: life
Smart girls with trust issues
God & ManShe has trust issues because she relies on her mind as much as her heart. She isn’t the type to blindly listen to her feelings without looking at the situation logically. If she’s going to give herself to someone, she needs to know that the person is trustworthy. That they aren’t playing around with her. That they…
via This Is Why The Smartest Girls Have Serious Trust Issues — Thought Catalog
Right person, wrong time
Taylor And Matt There’s this other type of love that doesn’t come dressed in everything you’ve ever wanted. It isn’t every dream coming true. It isn’t waking up one day next to someone and realizing the only thing that matters is them. It’s opposite really. Yes, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted standing right in front…
via The Utter Heartbreak Of Loving Someone You Can Never Be With — Thought Catalog
I loved reading this article and could relate to it. I’ve had some sad moments but the moment I met someone, spent time with them and realized how compatible we were, and that we would never ever be together was one of the saddest. But also very sobering as it reminded me about the importance of cherishing the moments. I miss him a lot and while I would have loved a different outcome, I know that it will never happen. Love doesn’t always conquer all, but I’m forever grateful to have had the opportunity to meet him and get to know him. He was the right person, it was the wrong time.
Post-travel feelings
I’m the type of person who likes to have something to look forward to. I keep a countdown app in my phone to remind me of important things that are coming up. It makes the time pass quicker and helps with motivation. Yesterday I got back to the States after spending almost two weeks on a cruise in Europe. It was something that I’ve wanted to do for the longest and I even turned down a job in order to have the time free. The trip taught me so much as I had the opportunity to eat some real food and experience a small taste of how people live in other parts of the world. It was amazing to see sights that I had only seen in books or online. I had the opportunity to see Michaelangelos’ sculpture “The David” in person and it was absolutely breathtaking. I had pizza in Rome and Gelato in Florence and tasted part of a cannoli in Messina. One thing I love about traveling is that there’s always something to look forward to. Each day is markedly different than the last. There’s absolutely nothing like it. My worldview has definitely been expanded once again and I can’t wait for the next adventure. 










Some thoughts
Today was an important day for the nation and involved numerous emotions. While I didn’t watch the inauguration, I did see many of the posts on social media. I’ve never been super optimistic and while it’s a nice idea to give this new administration a chance, the reality is that I think we’re in for a huge awakening. The people (or rather the electoral college) have spoken. It’s a done deal. My goal for this year is “Do better” and despite all the chaos in this world (that I can’t control), I am committed to improving myself and trying to make a difference in some way. While I don’t like the “play it by ear” life, it sure beats the traditional 9-5 with no end in sight. The truth is that we all need to be on the same page and commit to being an advocate to vulnerable populations who may not have access to the same resources. Knowledge is everything and I think that we have a duty to speak on behalf of those who don’t have a seat at the table. While I wish it was an easy process, the truth is that it isn’t. We’ve just moved back decades as far as progress and it’ll take a lot to get to where we need to be. Let’s all do better people.
New experiences
So today I tried yoga for the first time with my AirBnB host. It’s been something that I’ve wanted to try for a while but never quite got around to. I’m trying to be healthier and I vowed that this year I would try to have some new experiences. So to a yoga class I went. The first thing I noticed was that I really wasn’t flexible. I don’t make stretching a frequent practice and boy did it show as I was trying to breathe and stay in the same position at the same time. The teacher talked about trusting the Universe and just relaxing. For the life of me I couldn’t bring myself to relax. I admire those people who can automatically calm themselves down and focus on the present. I haven’t mastered it yet. I could feel my anxiety rise as the quiet music played and the class was quiet with everyone practicing their breaths. I thought about all the uncertainty that I’m surrounded by and what the week would be like. My mind raced to how hard it is being single sometimes and the trips that I had planned. I tried my hardest to focus on the present but the planner in me needed something to do. While I want to try yoga again, I need to try it on vacation because I’m usually a bit more relaxed and maybe I’ll get through without distractions. The class was good but seemed incredibly long. I really liked the focus on being grateful and eliminating distractions. It’s something I need to do more.
Resolutions
Like millions of other people, I had the New Years Resolution of becoming healthier. For me this included going to the gym instead of just thinking about going there. As much as I like the idea of being healthy, I like doing what I want as well. But this week I decided a change was in order. I actually joined a gym and paid a pretty penny to do so. My goal isn’t to become a bodybuilder or anything–just to fit more comfortably in an economy airline seat. The gym I joined offers fitness classes 6 times a week and I decide to go to 4 classes a week. I wouldn’t have to make up a whole routine–I could just try to keep up without passing out. There’s a personal trainer who leads each class and provides direction. A decent start. So I started out on the first day just hoping that I wouldn’t die. I had been dreading the class the whole day and knew that I just needed to get it over with. It wasn’t impossible but it was difficult. But I made it through the first class, and the next one, and the next. The soreness was excruciating but I pushed through. Now I don’t know if I’ll see any difference or notice any changes, but at least I’ll be consistent.
2016 life
2016 was one of the most challenging years. As usual, I didn’t get to travel as much as I wanted but I had two epic all inclusive vacations that were both a week long. While some of my year (7 months) was spent in a cubicle in a job I hated answering phones and sitting in an hour of traffic each way, it didn’t last forever. I made the decision to make a change and I put my stuff in storage and moved across the country to start a new job. I got dumped by a boyfriend and loved and lost several times. I conducted several couples therapy intensives and helped people to have better marriages. I had a beach day in Miami and several places in Mexico. I had my own apartment with cable and DVR for the first time. There were many ups and downs but I’m grateful to see the end of the year. I learned a lot about myself and others and I’m looking forward to being better and doing better in 2017.
Lessons from 2016
1. Just like the Jazmine Sullivan song, “forever doesn’t last always.” You can’t control the choices of others but you can decide your reaction 2. Online dating is hard and doesn’t always yield the results you want. Assume everyone is lying until proven otherwise and it’ll be ok.
3. It’s ok to live outside the box for a while. A normal 9-5 doesn’t and won’t fit everyone.
4. Appreciate the small things and don’t sweat the big stuff. Take it all in a stride.
5. Don’t take people who care about you for granted. Life is short.


