For the past 24 hours I’ve been preoccupied with learning more about my personality type (INFJ). Unfortunately, this has caused me to procrastinate on homework and reports that need to be done by Monday morning. I must admit, after reading about all the characteristics of INFJ’s I realized that I wasn’t as crazy as I originally thought (wonderful surprise). The truth is that INFJ’s make up less than two percent of the world’s population and is the rarest type in the Myers-Briggs test. This prezi presentation was so amazingly good and was a wonderful overview of the INFJ personality. As I clicked through it I could relate to every part of the presentation. Then I ran across this article that was also incredibly interesting as it summarized some of the characteristics of INFJ’s. Several things that stand out to me (and that I’ve noticed in myself) about this particular personality type is that we can’t get out of our own heads. Our brains are always going several hundred miles per hour and we are future oriented. This means that being in the present and enjoying the moment takes very deliberate effort. Also, we are perfectionists and hold ourselves to a very high standards. In addition, we trust our gut and can read people well. This characteristic is something that I realized that I use a lot more often than I originally thought because it’s more like second nature to me. The thing is that this intuition or gut feeling doesn’t always make sense. I don’t know how many times I didn’t do something because it just didn’t “feel” right. I couldn’t explain exactly why I felt that way but I just did. INFJ’s are social but still like time by themselves to recharge and they are easily annoyed by small talk, meaningless conversation and also meaningless affection (go figure). They like structure but they hate monotony and appreciate spontaneity. I guess that’s why I’m such a fan of traveling and taking a break from routine. Who would’ve guessed?
Tag Archives: feelings
I Blame You (the song)
I don’t know why, but this song reminds me of the winter feeling. I don’t know why but I just has an “it’s cold outside and I’m sitting by the fireplace sipping hot cocoa” feel. Let me start off by saying that Ledisi is one of the most versatile and talented female artists that I’ve ever heard. Her range is amazing and her runs are very crisp. I had the opportunity to hear her live when she came and sang at my church and subsequently released this single not that much later. There are few artists I’ve heard who sound better live than their recordings and she is without a doubt one of them. This song is a happy “I’m in love” sorta song with Ledisi singing about how her perspective has changed once she has met this special person. She feels like a different person and it’s something that other people notice as well. When I first heard this song I listened to it at least five times in a row because it was just so well written. The melody is clear and catchy and the lyrics fit perfectly with the whole concept of the song. Ledisi is another one of the artists I consider to be melodically articulate because she has such great control in her voice but there’s also emotion and soul behind it that comes through when she sings.
What I Wish I Had Known: Burnout and Self-Care in Our Social Work Profession – SocialWorker.com
The training to become a social worker is arduous, demanding, and complex. What isn’t always stressed enough are the issues of burnout, compassion fatigue, and the need for self care in the profession of social work.
via What I Wish I Had Known: Burnout and Self-Care in Our Social Work Profession – SocialWorker.com.
I saw this article and thought about how applicable it is to my life right now. As someone who works in the field, this has to be one of the best articles I’ve read on the reality of burnout for social workers that is typically ignored. My absolute favorite quote from the author: “In our work, although we are surrounded by people all day long, there is not a balanced give and take. Concentration is on clients, not ourselves. In the truest sense, we are alone—we are the givers, and our fulfillment comes from seeing the growth, hope, and new direction in those with whom we are privileged to work.” I don’t think that truer words have ever been spoken. I’m a huge proponent of self-care but admittedly have a hard time taking my own advice. It’s easier said than done when you are by nature a giver and you put the best interests of others before yours and don’t impose your opinions on others deliberately on a daily basis. Any deviation from this can be self-perceived as selfishness. However, the article brings home the fact that self-care is necessary because it helps you to operate from a place of being okay. Still have a lot to learn in that department.
Valid but Irrelevant
I feel like so much time is spent on people’s feelings. I say this in the context of therapy and relationships. Feelings aren’t necessarily bad but they can blind us as to what’s going on. Almost everyone can think of a time where they didn’t want to do something or didn’t feel like doing something but yet they did it anyway. Were their feelings any less valid? No. Most probably had a legitimate reason to feel the way that they did. One thing I found myself thinking about this week was that our feelings are always valid. This means that we feel the way we do for a variety of reasons that don’t require an explanation. While the feelings are always valid, they are sometimes not relevant. This means that we have to take the time to look beyond what’s now. While validating our own feelings we can also acknowledge the fact that at times feelings are completely irrelevant. Meaning that while they can be uncomfortable, we can’t afford to base our lives on the shaky foundation of how we feel.
No Pics Required
I’ve always been someone who liked to take pictures. From the moment that I got my first cell phone with a camera, I liked keeping a picture gallery of some of my experiences. While I’ve never been a fan of being in pictures, I have always recognized the significance and sometimes even the importance of capturing a memory in the form of a picture. However, one thing that I have noticed is that some moments do not require a photograph. There have been so many great moments that have happened where I’ve reached for my phone to take a picture but stopped. I think that that there are some moments in our lives that don’t require a photograph because taking one would in some way cheapen the moment. There are some things we experience in life that should be remembered by the feelings associated with the experience instead of pictures. While journaling can be another way of remembering experiences, there are some moments that are so special and significant in one’s life that words and pictures will never be able to fully capture the essence, experience, and the feelings associated with that event. The truth is that while a picture can be worth a thousand words, a memory can be worth a million. The experience in itself is worth it. Enjoying the moment, basking in the present and mentally filing it away without the visual aid of a photograph can make it that much more meaningful. Knowing that you won’t have a photograph to remember it by makes you all the more vigilant about capturing the experience through as many of your five senses as possible. It’s a far cry from looking through a photo album and reminiscing but can be so much better because you don’t have a photograph to remember the moment by and as a result, you remember more. Taking the time to live in the moment can help you to not have regrets later.
Dream killers
One thing that I really like about therapy is that you have the opportunity to hold the hope in the room. What I mean by that is that I have the opportunity to be a source of hope for a couple or family that has lost theirs. Hopes and dreams are very related to each in that both are intangible. They both deal with the future and looking away from the current situation. Being a dream or hope holder means that you can be optimistic for the person in a hard situation. I’ve noticed both with myself and with other colleagues that sometimes it’s easier holding someone else’s hope as opposed to getting or keeping your own. How many of us kill our hopes and dreams for a myriad of reasons? Instead of not tending to them and letting then die on their own accord, we aggressively mentally hack our hopes and dreams to pieces. It’s almost as if we don’t want to give ourselves the option of succeeding. Yet there’s something in us that wants to hope against hope. However we ignore this and continue to sabotage our hopes and dreams. The problem with doing is that sometimes there is a reason we have certain hopes and dreams. Killing them uses up energy that could be put to better use. Humans are adaptable and resilient and deep down inside most people want to know that they matter in some way and that their dreams are reachable. Maybe making the decision to not sabotage your hopes and dreams because of outside factors is the beginning of something big.
Why Rapport???
I don’t do therapy as much as I used to and one thing that I enjoyed about the process was building rapport with clients. I once heard someone say that if you can’t build rapport within the first 15 minutes of a professional relationship, your chances are pretty much shot. The truth is that we expect people who are professionals we are paying to know what they are talking about. No one really wants a therapist who only has listening skills but has no knowledge base of interventions. A good friend with common sense can accomplish that. The thing about rapport is that it can be built fast or very slow depending on the situation. One of the easiest ways in the therapy room is to do an introduction of yourself and some cool non-personal facts about you. This helps to break the ice and encourages the client to open up about his or her dislikes. Emphasizing that questions are always welcome and adopting a collaborative approach to therapy can also be awesome tools to build rapport. As a therapist, I have to constantly be aware of the amount of rapport I have with each client. While some may trust me starting from session one, it may take six sessions for that to happen with another client. The more rapport I have with a client, the more I can push them out of their comfort zone and challenge them. If they know they can trust me they will feel safe enough to be uncomfortable and work on things that they hide from other people. While I make a very clear distinction between doing therapy and listening to the challenges of friends or associates around me, the rapport thing still holds true. While I’m not going to do a full-fledged intervention with a friend, I have to be aware of how much rapport I have with him or her and choose my words accordingly. Established and secure friendships will get a more candid and unfiltered response while associates and acquaintances will get a more blanket and general response. It’s all related to the rapport I have with them. There are many times I’ve wanted to give a more candid response to an associate or acquaintance but the fact that I do not have enough rapport with them for them to not be offended has stopped me. I conceptualize rapport as being a bank. Deposits happen when there are similar interests, trust is present, and there’s a sense of emotional safety. Withdrawals occur when you have to say something that is uncomfortable or may cause the other person to be offended. If you have enough rapport in the bank with them they won’t lash out at you because you’ve put time into building rapport. If there is not enough rapport in the bank you go into overdraft with a very angry and offended person with the risk of alienation because you overstepped the boundaries of the relationship.
Introverts Unite!
I love this humorous yet somewhat true description of introverts. Granted it’s not all encompassing, we all know someone who fits at least one of the descriptors. I’m pretty introverted for the most part. Surprisingly, I actually like speaking in front of people and doing presentations. I’m a behind-the-scenes sort of person and I don’t seek out the spotlight. However, if the spotlight shines on me, I’m usually prepared and ready. I honestly can’t stand meaningless conversations. I feel as if they’re a waste of my time and energy but I have them on a regular basis because despite the fact that I find them mundane, many times they are necessary in order to bridge the gap into more meaningful conversations. I think that the world needs a mixture of both extroverts and introverts because while those personality types can clash they can also complement each other. A quiet person with a loud person can be a great combination because they won’t try to out-talk each other.
Traveling Thoughts
One of my goals this year is to travel more and I haven’t been the greatest at that as yet. This weekend I took my first trip this year. I was a kid that grew up traveling all over the Southeast and Midwest area of the United States. Sadly, these trips usually included of 12 hours or more of riding in a van. As I got older and learned to drive, the trips were more enjoyable because I could actually do something instead of sleeping or reading in the car. My siblings and I had some great experiences exploring the downtown areas of different cities and going to various museums and zoos. Even today, while I like going to my tried and true favorite spots, I also love to go places I’ve never gone before and have a totally new experience. The problem with traveling for me is that it takes probably about six weeks of planning in order to make it happen. While I am spontaneous and I like spur of the moment stuff, living in the middle of nowhere really puts a damper on that. I have to coordinate all my job schedules, find a place for my dog, ensure that I have no prior obligations, and plan for flights and transportation. In addition, this also includes doing school work in advance and then doubling up when I get home in order to ensure that I don’t fall behind in assignments. All of this can easily become a logistical nightmare. However, there are few happy feelings that beat walking onto the elongated trailer thingy that connects to the plane. The start of a new adventure and a chance for new experiences and people. I’m determined to have more of that this year. Despite all the logistics and financial challenges, life is too short to feel trapped in the middle of nowhere. I’m traveling more this year.
The Game of Odds
This article was so interesting to me because the author took the time to break down what (he) thinks it takes for a woman to marry. Granted, while he (supposedly) is quoting information from a book, there is absolutely no citations or references at the end of the article. Despite this, the article was very direct and organized and makes a lot of sense. I have to admit that my favorite part was the quote about making getting a husband a priority after age 30 and not being the last person to “get off the bus” in terms of matrimony. Overall, I think that there’s some great advice that one can take away from the author’s perspective. Plus, it’s an easy read.
Alisha's Angle 