One thing that I’ve had a chance to do is to read up on my personality type. It’s been very eye opening to understand more about how I think and my perspective of the world around me. My personality type is known for bending over backwards for people until a limit is reached and then the relationship is severed. It’s typically called a door slam and isn’t something that happens often. But every once in a while you meet people who take but never provide anything in return. Recently I had to door slam a guy who wasn’t for me. Now to be honest, I should have cut him off earlier but I needed to make sure there wasn’t any redeemable quality. There are a lot of women out there who see themselves as a savior of sorts sent to rescue a man from himself and his bad decisions. I’m not one of them. There were several things that influenced my decision to sever all ties. He lived at least a thousand miles away and we had never met in person AND didn’t have any mutual friends. First, within days of initial dialogue he tried to convince me to fly up to meet him on my own dime. Keep in mind that he’s almost 40 with a job that pays the bills and a side hustle in the entertainment business as a promotor. Strike one. Second, he NEVER called and text messages consisted of small talk or his (self-proclaimed) abilities in a certain department. I wasn’t amused. Thirdly, in addition to wanting me to fly in, he also wanted me to “invest” a “small amount” of $3,500 into his promoter business. The purpose of this was to prove my loyalty and that I truly was down for him. And last but not least, he didn’t provide a lot of information about himself but a google search indicated that he was arrested fairly frequently on bail bond violations. I don’t know why, but I have this weird sixth sense thing that goes off when people lie to me or don’t tell me the full story. Huge red flag and ultimate deal breaker. Needless to say, he earned his exit pass out my life. Definitely not for me.
I don’t typically post about INFJ stuff but I really liked this because it’s my personality type and it really resonates with me. I’m always so excited to meet a fellow INFJ because it can get lonely feeling like a walking contradiction all the time. Good stuff.
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I think that as humans, many of us are naturally drawn to positions of prominence. Many of us know someone who has literally schemed their way to the top. They have manipulated and lied in order to advance their own agenda and get ahead in life without regard for the feelings or emotions of others. They show false attention and fake their way through relationships because they have ulterior motives. They don’t allow anyone to get close but keep up a facade of being easily accessible. As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been on this whole INFJ tip the past few days where I’ve been reading more about my personality type. One of the characteristics of this personality type is that we are naturally intuitive about the motives of others and many times find it easy to separate the real from the fake when it comes to human interactions and communication. A while ago I was presented with the opportunity for a position of prominence. It was something that was a goal of mine and had been for the past several years. However, after I quickly accepted I almost immediately had a change of heart and rejected it. I just got a gut feeling that it wasn’t “right” and that there were hidden motives on the part of the person who offered it. It wasn’t like I was being paranoid, but I had such a strong sense that I would have to pay in some way for accepting it. I strongly believe that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. While I believe in being at least cordial to everyone, I also take great pains to distance myself from people who use others to advance their own personal agenda. Those are the type of people who will turn on you as quickly as they became your “friend.” I say all that to say that it pays to recognize and identify these types of people before they suck you into their webs of deceit and manipulation.
For the past 24 hours I’ve been preoccupied with learning more about my personality type (INFJ). Unfortunately, this has caused me to procrastinate on homework and reports that need to be done by Monday morning. I must admit, after reading about all the characteristics of INFJ’s I realized that I wasn’t as crazy as I originally thought (wonderful surprise). The truth is that INFJ’s make up less than two percent of the world’s population and is the rarest type in the Myers-Briggs test. This prezi presentation was so amazingly good and was a wonderful overview of the INFJ personality. As I clicked through it I could relate to every part of the presentation. Then I ran across this article that was also incredibly interesting as it summarized some of the characteristics of INFJ’s. Several things that stand out to me (and that I’ve noticed in myself) about this particular personality type is that we can’t get out of our own heads. Our brains are always going several hundred miles per hour and we are future oriented. This means that being in the present and enjoying the moment takes very deliberate effort. Also, we are perfectionists and hold ourselves to a very high standards. In addition, we trust our gut and can read people well. This characteristic is something that I realized that I use a lot more often than I originally thought because it’s more like second nature to me. The thing is that this intuition or gut feeling doesn’t always make sense. I don’t know how many times I didn’t do something because it just didn’t “feel” right. I couldn’t explain exactly why I felt that way but I just did. INFJ’s are social but still like time by themselves to recharge and they are easily annoyed by small talk, meaningless conversation and also meaningless affection (go figure). They like structure but they hate monotony and appreciate spontaneity. I guess that’s why I’m such a fan of traveling and taking a break from routine. Who would’ve guessed?