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Loooooooooooove

So I was recently introduced to this guy’s voice though an awesome 15 second video on IG. I’ve been “youtubing” his stuff ever since. As somewhat of a music nerd, I’m always impressed with voices that sound flawless without artificial assistance. This video is a few years old but if you were to listen to his newer stuff you would see a change in the level of his control and the cleanness of his runs. First off, I love Musiq Soulchild but I honestly think that this rendition might be better than the original. It’s a GREAT song that pretty much anyone can relate to. I have such an appreciation for people with incredible voices like his that have such a clear quality.

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No Pics Required

I’ve always been someone who liked to take pictures. From the moment that I got my first cell phone with a camera, I liked keeping a picture gallery of some of my experiences. While I’ve never been a fan of being in pictures, I have always recognized the significance and sometimes even the importance of capturing a memory in the form of a picture. However, one thing that I have noticed is that some moments do not require a photograph. There have been so many great moments that have happened where I’ve reached for my phone to take a picture but stopped. I think that that there are some moments in our lives that don’t require a photograph because taking one would in some way cheapen the moment. There are some things we experience in life that should be remembered by the feelings associated with the experience instead of pictures. While journaling can be another way of remembering experiences, there are some moments that are so special and significant in one’s life that words and pictures will never be able to fully capture the essence, experience, and the feelings associated with that event. The truth is that while a picture can be worth a thousand words, a memory can be worth a million. The experience in itself is worth it. Enjoying the moment, basking in the present and mentally filing it away without the visual aid of a photograph can make it that much more meaningful. Knowing that you won’t have a photograph to remember it by makes you all the more vigilant about capturing the experience through as many of your five senses as possible. It’s a far cry from looking through a photo album and reminiscing but can be so much better because you don’t have a photograph to remember the moment by and as a result, you remember more. Taking the time to live in the moment can help you to not have regrets later. 

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Sharing is Caring

Sharing is Caring

This article really made me think. The author brings up some great points about teaching children that they have the right to say “no.” While I don’t think that this example is extreme, I do think that more of a middle ground could be created between sharing and not sharing. The truth is that many people in the world don’t share but I don’t know if that’s a real life lesson that should be demonstrated to a toddler. Fostering a good sense of empathy might naturally lead to more sharing as opposed to just teaching it as a behavior. 

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The Friend-Zone

I don’t want to make the assumption that everyone has been friend-zoned at least once in their life. However, I think that it would be correct to assume that everyone at knows at least ONE person that this has happened to. The phenomenon of the friend zone has been around as long as the opinion that men and women can be platonic friends without one or the other catching feelings. While I think that this can occur, the instances where it has been successful for a long period of time are very few. The friend-zone is not the greatest place to be because you’re in a state of limbo. Torn between what you have and what you wish you had. You enjoy the company and attention from your “friend” but it’s not in the way that you actually want it to be. Being friend zoned is probably the equivalent of craving some cadillac-brand of butter pecan ice cream but getting stuck with plain yoghurt. Both are in the dairy family but vastly different in taste and texture. One thing about the friend zone is that it’s comfortable. There’s less expectations and as a result there’s less chance of misunderstandings. Both people (on paper) appear to have come to a mutual agreement about the status of the relationship. However one person wishes that the relationship could move beyond friendship but for the sake of the relationship they resign themselves to their fate. They have been relegated to a corner in the friendship despite (usually) small attempts to shift the direction of the relationship elsewhere.  This usually also includes seeing the object of one’s affection date and sometimes even marry another. Am I advocating for all the friend zoned people to confess their true feelings and risk rejection for the sake of being honest to themselves? Nope. The truth is that when you’ve had enough you’ll make a decision. Humans tend to change or even make important decisions when they become sick and tired of their current situation. If you don’t like being friend-zoned bad enough, you’ll do something about it and speak up. Point blank. If not, you’ll just pine away in an almost relationship with someone who most likely doesn’t have a clue about your real feelings. It may not be ideal but it’s the choice you made. 

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Lessons in Teaching

Recently I had the opportunity to present on a counseling theory as it pertains to couples therapy to a class of graduate students at my alma mater. One thing that was helpful in the presentation was that I had actual experience using the theory in my work with couples. Narrative therapy is definitely something that I had the chance to use a lot when working with families, couples and individuals. As a naturally nosy person, narrative therapy is right up my alley because it gives clients a chance to tell their own story. As the therapy progresses the therapist starts prompting the clients to express the problem in their own words as the problem. Very helpful in identifying root causes and challenging current paradigms. I say all that to say that it’s nice to be able to talk about a topic that you have at least a basic knowledge of. Coaching a role play as the students played therapists and acted out the theory was also really fun. Maybe I like the feeling of interrupting and inserting some bit of wisdom but it’s always interesting to experience how a theory can change the entire dynamic of the therapy room and present an opportunity for growth on the part of the clients. I’ve had some great teachers during my educational experience and I’ve learned a lot of valuable information that has informed the way that I interact with clients and has made me much more strategic. I say all this to say that this little dose of teaching was a success and teaching a class is something that I’ve added to my list of things to do just for fun (and professional experience of course). 

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The Spring Feeling

While spring is coming to an end, the fact that it snowed in Colorado last week was a discouragement to the inevitability of summer A few months ago I did a blog post on The Winter Feeling. Well folks, winter is pretty much over and in its place comes Spring Fever or as I like to call it, The Spring Feeling. The Spring Feeling is something that affect everyone in some way. The cold winter has started to thaw and people slowly and gradually start to come out of hibernation. They become more active and emotions run high. People become more easily irritated because deep down inside nobody wants to be stuck doing work while the weather is absolutely perfect. Engagements are a dime a dozen and so are pregnancies. Love seems to resemble a contagious virus that everyone seems to be catching. There’s something about spring that makes people want to either have babies or even sometimes having a burst of immature childish behaviors that they should have grown out of decades ago. Regardless, the spring feeling is one of transition. While summer is coming, people are talking about gaining that perfect beach body and they have a sudden new motivation for those disregarded New Year’s Resolutions.  

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Lost and Found

Lost and Found

i rarely read a book that I think would be interesting to a lot of people. Reading autobiographies has always been a favorite of mine since childhood. This book is definitely geared toward a faith-based audience but it’s also a great read for anyone who has ever struggled with meeting the expectations of others or has overcome adversity. Sarah describes a life of living under a microscope as a child of a well known individual. She describes how an unplanned pregnancy at a young age and an abusive marriage helped shape her into the person she is today. There are countless people we run into on a daily basis whose lives we have no clue about. Lost and Found describes a coming of age experience in which Sarah tells her story of facing challenges and how she found her way.

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What do you do when you have a million and one thoughts running around in your head that need to be connected by reading them? You blog. And unfortunately, the randomness that may come as a part of this spontaneous blog post may violate the NUMBER ONE rule of blogging: “Only have one subject” or the number two rule: “Don’t be wordy.” Well this one may actually be wordy. For the sake of the people reading this, I think I’ll at least separate this non-subject blog into topics. Topic One: One thing that I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts is the amount of traveling that I’ve done in the past few months. Five weekend trips in six weekends has been no joke. Trying to keep up with schoolwork and managing a job without taking PTO has been a superhuman feat that (thankfully) is almost over. As someone who loves to travel, it has been great seeing the world outside of the little bubble of work and school that perpetually seems to overshadow my life. Topic Two: The whole idea of choices has really been in the forefront of my mind these last couple days. I’ve been able to benefit from a series of particular choices I made that began in March 2012. These choices involved being deliberate in certain actions that I knew would have an outcome. While I did not know what the outcome would be, I knew that it was preferable to making the opposite choice not to change my actions. These choices continued and more choices related to them were made with the full knowledge that all future choices needed to be in line with the ones previously made. As I began to build choices upon choices, I saw very small but also very pointed results. While the results were not always (and rarely are always) explicitly exactly what I want as far as long term, there are still results that come directly from those choices. I say all this to say that many times I think that people neglect to recognize and acknowledge how certain choices can not only change your life for the better or for the worse, but also that they lead to other choices in the similar track. An example of this are the drugs known as “gateway drugs”. Statistics tell use that people who use these specific drugs are more likely to try harder and more potent drugs. Choices lead to other choices and these choices ultimately shape our lives and who we are as people. We don’t always realize the impact of a particular choice and seldom take the time to view our lives as a series of choices that we made. People we chose to associate with or listen to. Things that we neglected or paid attention to. Opportunities for growth that we capitalized on or disregarded. I was reminded how making certain choices in my life served as the gateway to an environment or an experience that I didn’t “deserve” to have. But those consistent choices laid the ground work for a positive result. 

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Lecture Time

I really hate lectures. Being homeschooled forced me to cultivate a very active imagination. As a result, I find it extremely easy to zone out when I’m bored. Daydreaming comes very easily to me and can be a welcome distraction from a monotone voice droning on about things I don’t care about or already know. I really dislike when a short attention span is blamed on the current generation or the fact that we are used to instant gratification. The fact of a matter is that if you’re a boring speaker, it doesn’t matter if I’m 80 or 8. I’m still going to be bored. In the world that we live in, there really no excuse for having a dry and boring lecture with the purpose of communicating some important information.  We have been blessed with the privilege of visual aids that can help us get our point across without boring people to death. The problem with lectures is that you often feel as if you are being talked down to. While this is something that is somewhat expected in an educational setting, I can’t stand it in peer to peer settings. While I am someone who doesn’t believe in flaunting my education and my accomplishments, I also feel that I didn’t spend $100,000 for some letters behind my name to listen to someone who is talking down to me and is also boring at the same time. It’s pointless. Along with this category are people who have been put in a position of power who didn’t earn it and then now feel that they are entitled to share their opinion as if it were fact and that their age, class, socioeconomic position, or gender makes it (their opinion) valid. Dry lectures have to be one of the biggest wastes of time and energy ever. That being said, the ability to convey information and communicate clearly is a gift. A gift that I appreciate. Especially after being stuck in a dry, boring, and lifeless lecture.