Switching Gears

It’s funny how life goes sometimes. You prepare the best you can and then you have to make the best of what happens. Two years ago at this time I was having the time of my life in Paris and going on road trips to the countryside. This year is drastically different as I’ll be going into the office and working with clients. But to be fair, I was in Paris earlier this year so I can’t complain. The field of social work is so varied and throughout my career so far I have found myself in a lot of different settings playing multiple roles. My recent venture has me once again diving into the world of being a therapist. It’s a role that I haven’t been in consistently for a while, but one that I went to school for when the medical school plan didn’t work out. Contrary to popular belief, it’s so much more than just listening to people. Working at an outpatient clinic and working with the general public pretty much means that I deal with a little bit of everything. I don’t have a specialty or a specific diagnosis that I primarily work with. Every client requires a different skill set and theoretical framework. It really makes me grateful that I had an amazing post-graduate education that is actually paying off.  A lot of clients just want to know that it’s ok to not be ok. It’s a change in pace from running around constantly in a hospital and doing a lot of case management. So far so good I guess. We’ll see what the rest of this year brings.

Single and supportive 

Like many people, I often find myself annoyed when I’m added to groups on social media without my consent. Usually it’s a subject matter I’m not particularly interested in and serves no real purpose to my daily life. Not too long ago I saw a post from one of the groups that I had been inadvertently added to. The group was specifically for single women and someone apparently thought that I could benefit in some way from the content. Let me make a quick side note. There are some people who flaunt their singleness like a badge of honor telling any and everyone how happy they are to not be “tied down” to another person. Good for them but it’s not my thing. But I digress. In the group one of the administrators had posed a question asking how the members in the group were doing in their current state of singleness. The typical responses were extremely positive with respondents saying that they were having the best times of their life and that they were working on themselves and actively pursuing their spiritual path. However, one post from a member stood out in stark contrast to the others. This lady kept it 100 and basically said that the single life (for her) sucked and that it was lonely. Almost immediately the replies from other members started coming in. They chastised her for being lonely and said that she needed more prayer, and church attendance because something was wrong with her. The pettiness came out full force with accusations of bringing the group down and “focusing on the negative.” It was sad that the supposed purpose of the group was to be supportive of single women but quickly became a group of bullies after someone honestly shared how they were feeling. I don’t know what the moral of this story is but I’ll just say that if you join a support group just first make sure they are actually supportive. Or, develop a support system of real people who won’t jump down your throat when you’re honest about your feelings. 

Wedding Bells and Woes

I was chatting with an old friend the other day and we were remarking on the practice of fundraising through websites to raise money for weddings. I recognize that weddings aren’t cheap and I’ve met numerous couples who have told me that they aren’t in a financial position to pay for a wedding because of the costs. I’m not knocking creativity by any means but it seems to be in poor taste to ask people to come to your wedding while asking them to pay for it as well. Almost as tactless as telling people to give you cold hard cash instead of gifts. I remember hearing someone say that people don’t care about cost and will go above and beyond their budget when it has to do with a wedding of a funeral. I have a small theory that it’s because both events evoke many types of emotions and rational decisions aren’t always popular. There’s nothing wrong with a request, however it’s important to remember that people aren’t obligated to fulfill your wishes. Let’s be honest, a monetary gift just makes more sense than a blender sometimes. Having a nice wedding is something that many women have dreamed about since being little girls. They already know their color scheme, who will make the cut to be a bridesmaid, and the season and location. Then finally their wish comes true and they finally have a legitimate reason to plan a wedding. I’m not going to lie, I love weddings. People are always so optimistic about life and love and it’s a happy occasion where families and guests have fun together and celebrate the couple’s decisions to (hopefully) spend their lives together. However, it seems that weddings are more for the guests than anything else. The truth of the matter is that a wedding isn’t necessary for a marriage. There are plenty other better investments of time and money that could be made instead of using it on wedding. Yes, it’s sentimental and beautiful but it’s not always practical. And that’s a truth a lot of people won’t admit.

Secret Wishes

I ran into this article through the course of my internet surfing and found it to be (somewhat) fairly accurate as far as my own experience and from discussions from other people in my age bracket. You can read it here. I agreed with a lot of the things that the author wrote about. After all, your dog isn’t going to let you know how much he enjoyed your cooking. An example of this is the fact that I made an awesome lemon pie the other day and my dog loved it. While the article wasn’t all inclusive there were some very valid points that were made. Granted, I think that a lot of the things listed tend to be hidden behind a certain facade of having a great life. But then again, that’s nothing new and it happens with both men and women all the time.

Good Women

Good Women

This was an interesting article that caught my eye. There are so many definitions of a what a good woman is that honestly vary from person to person. One’s childhood, culture, and also environment also play a huge role in their personal definition of a good woman. While some of the guidelines or signs were very markedly traditional, I think that they speak to many of the societal expectations of womanhood today.