This was an interesting article that caught my eye. There are so many definitions of a what a good woman is that honestly vary from person to person. One’s childhood, culture, and also environment also play a huge role in their personal definition of a good woman. While some of the guidelines or signs were very markedly traditional, I think that they speak to many of the societal expectations of womanhood today.
Tag Archives: life
Ten Steps to Excellence
While doing some very needed spring/summer cleaning I came across some notes that I wrote from someone’s presentation about four years ago. While I don’t remember their name, I do remember being more than slightly annoyed that the presentation took about two hours to get through ten points. However, in order to stay awake, I wrote down the ten points. And, I’m posting them so that I can continue throwing random pieces of paper away instead of saying “I should post this on the blog sometime.” Here goes:
1. Never be satisfied- Don’t be content with your present condition or position.
2. Be single-minded -Stick with what you start and be focused.
3. Don’t look back- Don’t be fixated by past experiences
4. Go Forward- Don’t procrastinate. Act. Set a date and get started.
5. Press On- Continue what you start
6. Be motivated from above
7. Adopt a mindset of a pace-setter. Go for something and don’t settle for status quo. Put the quo in the status.
8. Draw inspiration from positive role models
9. Keep away from the wrong crowd and from people who make it their job to discourage you.
10. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Fine lines and strategy
During a conversation that I had earlier this week, someone said to me that there’s a fine line between strategy and manipulation and we cross that line all the time. It really made me think about all the times that we do things that would normally be characterized as manipulative but are actually strategic. Therapists do this all the time with clients. The thing is that the difference between being manipulative and being strategic is that when you’re strategic you have the other person’s well being as a priority. Being manipulative is more self serving. This automatically made me think of all the times that people have manipulated situations or people for the sake of getting or appearing good to a potential significant other. Some might argue that these actions are more strategic than manipulative. I think that they can go either way. If you’re sincerely convinced that your presence in the daily life of your potential significant other will enhance or benefit them in some way, you’re more on the strategic end of the fine line. In no way am I advocating for stalking and not taking “no” for an answer, but we have to realize that there are times we have to strategize in order to get an actual chance. Sometimes you just have to know what end result you want and strategize backwards in order to get it because it’s the only plausible option. Because the line between manipulation and strategy can be so blurred, examining your motives can be one of the only ways you can know what side of the fence you’re on.
No Pics Required
I’ve always been someone who liked to take pictures. From the moment that I got my first cell phone with a camera, I liked keeping a picture gallery of some of my experiences. While I’ve never been a fan of being in pictures, I have always recognized the significance and sometimes even the importance of capturing a memory in the form of a picture. However, one thing that I have noticed is that some moments do not require a photograph. There have been so many great moments that have happened where I’ve reached for my phone to take a picture but stopped. I think that that there are some moments in our lives that don’t require a photograph because taking one would in some way cheapen the moment. There are some things we experience in life that should be remembered by the feelings associated with the experience instead of pictures. While journaling can be another way of remembering experiences, there are some moments that are so special and significant in one’s life that words and pictures will never be able to fully capture the essence, experience, and the feelings associated with that event. The truth is that while a picture can be worth a thousand words, a memory can be worth a million. The experience in itself is worth it. Enjoying the moment, basking in the present and mentally filing it away without the visual aid of a photograph can make it that much more meaningful. Knowing that you won’t have a photograph to remember it by makes you all the more vigilant about capturing the experience through as many of your five senses as possible. It’s a far cry from looking through a photo album and reminiscing but can be so much better because you don’t have a photograph to remember the moment by and as a result, you remember more. Taking the time to live in the moment can help you to not have regrets later.
Lost and Found
i rarely read a book that I think would be interesting to a lot of people. Reading autobiographies has always been a favorite of mine since childhood. This book is definitely geared toward a faith-based audience but it’s also a great read for anyone who has ever struggled with meeting the expectations of others or has overcome adversity. Sarah describes a life of living under a microscope as a child of a well known individual. She describes how an unplanned pregnancy at a young age and an abusive marriage helped shape her into the person she is today. There are countless people we run into on a daily basis whose lives we have no clue about. Lost and Found describes a coming of age experience in which Sarah tells her story of facing challenges and how she found her way.
Life can be good
It seems as if all my trips these days are a challenge against logistics and timing. One thing that I’m happy about is the fact that I am traveling more–as I have vowed to do this year. One thing I especially like to do is visit the Southern states. So I made a “quick” 14 hour (one way) road trip down to Dallas and it’s been so nice. It’s interesting how different various regions of the States are so different from each other. I love laidback formality of the South and just the overall feel. One thing that has been fun during this trip has been people-watching. It’s interesting how one’s standards of what is attractive can change based on who they see around them on a frequent basis. I’ve definitely noticed this myself. It’s been an awesome time, and as usual, I’m dreading the long drive back and am already plotting ways to catch up on the sleep that I’m lacking at this point. It’s interesting how feeling so exhausted can also be exhilarating due to the thrill of a new place. However, life does go on and it’s important to remember to stop and smell the roses at time. Reuniting with old friends and getting away from routine can be rejuvenating–and in my case it’s that. Can’t wait to do this again.
The Roles of a Social Worker
So the month of March is Social Work month so I thought that I should post something related to that. To be honest, I didn’t want to be a social worker growing up. I wanted to go to medical school and be an ER doctor. Unfortunately my high school education in the sciences was very skimpy. I took Algebra I and II and Biology. No chemistry whatsoever. Needless to say, I quickly realized after my first Biology class that I was missing a whole lot of the fundamentals. To be honest I had no idea what I wanted my major to be as I began to prepare to move away from home and start college. While I knew that I wanted to go to medical school, I knew that I didn’t want to major in the sciences. I remember standing in the registration line for college and when I got to the counter the registration lady asked what major I wanted to declare. For some reason the words “social work” came out my mouth and I just stuck with it. I did this with the understanding (at least in my head) that I would just take all the classes needed in order to ensure my admission into medical school. However I soon realized that without any reference point in the sciences, I would have a hard time taking the necessary classes and actually passing them. So I did what any person with common sense would do—quickly formulated a plan B. I decided that the social sciences were more suited for me and they held my interest. One of the things that I like about social work is that it’s very person centered and takes the individual, their background, and their environment into consideration. The field is so diverse and there are a lot of opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others. While I love the other social sciences, I’m appreciative of my social work education because it is fairly practice based and while there are mounds of paperwork, many times I get the chance to actually interact with people and implement interventions that improve their quality of life.
More to life
I’m not going to lie, as a fairly young adult I don’t think about my mortality on a adult basis. Growing up I went to more funerals than most people have been to in their lives. It was always really sobering. This week on the wake of basking in the achievement of another significant professional stepping stone in my career, I was reminded of how previous life is. One of my jobs entails working the elderly population in a residential setting. This week I lost one of my patients. And by lost I mean that the patient died. As someone who is trained to intervene in situations in order to ensure safety and prevent death, providing emotional support as someone is dying is a new challenge. You find yourself going beyond your job description in order to do small things that might improve quality of life. To experience of starting a shift and seeing a patient alive to hours later when their body is rolled out by the mortuary technician is so sobering. I say all this to say that you never know how your actions can impact someone. Many times we are quick to talk about how we should have done things differently but how it’s too late. Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them. Express love and appreciation while they’re alive.
Introverts Unite!
I love this humorous yet somewhat true description of introverts. Granted it’s not all encompassing, we all know someone who fits at least one of the descriptors. I’m pretty introverted for the most part. Surprisingly, I actually like speaking in front of people and doing presentations. I’m a behind-the-scenes sort of person and I don’t seek out the spotlight. However, if the spotlight shines on me, I’m usually prepared and ready. I honestly can’t stand meaningless conversations. I feel as if they’re a waste of my time and energy but I have them on a regular basis because despite the fact that I find them mundane, many times they are necessary in order to bridge the gap into more meaningful conversations. I think that the world needs a mixture of both extroverts and introverts because while those personality types can clash they can also complement each other. A quiet person with a loud person can be a great combination because they won’t try to out-talk each other.
Investing Wisely
One thing that I like to do is conceptualize relationships through an investment perspective. The truth is that some people are good investments and others are not. Sometimes you have to take inventory of who is in your life and if they are assets or liabilities. People who are assets are those who contribute something positive to your life. They listen and genuinely care about your welfare and they are true friends. People who are liabilities seem to suck the life out of you. They take and take and take……and take some more. They are the people who are always asking your for something. They act entitled and never apologize for their actions. In a perfect world, we would never have to deal with these individuals. Dysfunctional relationships wouldn’t exist and people would take responsibility for their actions. However this isn’t the case. The truth is that liability people will always exist in some form. But you can decide to have clear boundaries and get really familiar with the word “no.” Then there are the people who don’t fit into either category. They don’t drain you, but they also don’t contribute to your growth in any way. These people are almost like a tax-deductible donation. A complete write off. But unlike a donation, there’s no tangible or monetary benefit. Ideally, you would want to have more assets than anything else, but in relationship land quality is more important than quantity. This is why it’s important to invest your quality time in people who have proven themselves to be assets. It makes no sense to devote the bulk of your time and energy to the middle people and the liabilities. You won’t have a good rate of return and at the end of the day you won’t have gained anything other than experience.
Alisha's Angle 