Feeling Confined

I’m the type of person who really hates feeling confined. I’m not a fan of small places and while they don’t evoke a panic-like reaction from me, I don’t go out my way to experience them. My parents attest to this fact by reporting I was an escape artist as a toddler. For some reason I hated my crib and would often raise my foot above my head to the guardrail and hoist myself over the railing and fall to the floor. Somehow I managed not to permanently injure myself as I escaped multiple times from my jail–I mean crib. Growing up and being homeschooled afforded me the ability to have a nice balance of structure and flexibility. I remember playing outside in our backyard one day in rural Alabama and  saying to my mother that we should go visit my grandparents in Michigan. She liked the idea and within about four hours we had embarked on the 17 hour roadtrip north. Totally unplanned and random. I personally know a lot of people who stay so tied to their to do list that they miss out on a lot.  Flexibility is a trait that can come in handy because it demonstrates an ability to think on your feet. I love structure and predictability but I’m also a firm believer in planned spontaneity. Those are scheduled times where I get to do whatever I want (within reason) without an agenda. I’m still in the process of finding a great balance of structure and planned spontaneity but I believe it can be found.  



I absolutely abhor the first sentence in the picture. The second is more tolerable. The truth is that we live in a materialistic society and there’s little chance of that changing anytime soon. Maybe one of the reasons I hate that sentence is that it implies that you won’t care as much about the money if you have some of your own or you aren’t lazy. Money impresses more than just lazy people. And we all know people who work extremely hard but have absolutely nothing to show for it. People who want to accomplish things with their lives don’t want to be with someone who holds them back. Working hard isn’t all that’s necessary. There are other things that must be present. Love does not pay bills and having a man with money can not only be a bonus but also an upgrade. I’m against that as one’s only plan out of poverty but one of THE smartest financial decisions a woman can make is to get married. If you bring something substantial to the table, I feel like you shouldn’t feel bad that his net worth is also calculated with his marriage ability rating. If I’m merging my life with yours I want to come out with a better deal than I went in with. It doesn’t always have to be money but that will play a pretty sizable part. I agree that money doesn’t bring happiness but I personally would rather cry in my BMW than on my bike.

Fine lines and strategy

During a conversation that I had earlier this week, someone said to me that there’s a fine line between strategy and manipulation and we cross that line all the time. It really made me think about all the times that we do things that would normally be characterized as manipulative but are actually strategic. Therapists do this all the time with clients. The thing is that the difference between being manipulative and being strategic is that when you’re strategic you have the other person’s well being as a priority. Being manipulative is more self serving. This automatically made me think of all the times that people have manipulated situations or people for the sake of getting or appearing good to a potential significant other. Some might argue that these actions are more strategic than manipulative. I think that they can go either way. If you’re sincerely convinced that your presence in the daily life of your potential significant other will enhance or benefit them in some way, you’re more on the strategic end of the fine line. In no way am I advocating for stalking and not taking “no” for an answer, but we have to realize that there are times we have to strategize in order to get an actual chance. Sometimes you just have to know what end result you want and strategize backwards in order to get it because it’s the only plausible option. Because the line between manipulation and strategy can be so blurred, examining your motives can be one of the only ways you can know what side of the fence you’re on.

Second Guesses

I really need to make this a quick post because I’m playing hooky from this homework that I need to attend to. So here goes. I’m the type of person (and always have been) that second guesses myself. I’m great at making split second decisions. I can weigh the pros and cons appropriately and come to a logical conclusion. However, after the decision is made, I over-analyze it to death and then start to worry that I’ve missed some important piece of information that was critical to the decision that was just made. Very sad I know. Thankfully, I’ve usually taken enough time before the decision is made to know that it is the right one, but it still doesn’t eliminate my bad habit of second guessing the decision. I’m an analyzer by nature. I like cause and effect and knowing what will happen if I do something or make a certain choice. I’m also a risk taker, but these risks are very calculated and strategic based on prior knowledge of the situation. I like to know. While I’m not necessarily a worrier, (is that a word?) I hate to miss opportunities that could benefit me in the long run. I remember hearing someone say that sometimes it’s pointless to mull over something forever and that you just have to make a decision and live with the consequences. While I think that this is true, I also don’t want to miss something huge. I’m not someone who is indecisive though. When I need to make a decision I can make it almost instantly based on the information that I have and I’ll stick with it despite the fact that I second guess it. I want to get better at making decisions and not second guessing them because it really takes the time and energy that I could be using to do something more productive. There’s definitely always room for improvement.