- Life is hard. It’s messy and doesn’t have any promises or absolutes. But it’s easier to go through those stressors having money. Just like it sucks to be sad but its more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than on your bike.
- Advance planning is important. It’s hard to make crucial decisions when you’re still reeling from emotions and you have to think clearly. It’s better to get it out the way and not worry about it than to scramble last minute.
- It’s important to take some initiative and find out what resources are around you. After all, it’s better to know someone and not need them than to need someone and not know them.
- Questions are good. Ask them.
- Keep an open mind. Just because things have been done a certain way for a while doesn’t mean that they can’t be improved or become more efficient.
Tag Archives: lessons
Loving on and moving on
Again, I ran into this blog post and absolutely wanted to share. There comes a time when you realize that no matter what, you can’t love someone into loving you. It’s a hard reality to face because we want to believe that our love can change someone who doesn’t want to be changed. I’ve had a similar experience of the writer and I have to admit that it’s not comfortable at all. But time helps and it gets better as you move on. You learn to love from a distance and be ok with that. 
Manik RatheeI thought I was prepared to see you again. It’s been about a month since I’ve seen you last and that was a train wreck in itself. It’s been a few months since we’ve spoken and that ended up with me in tears. The girls and I were relaxed, having a few drinks and…
via I Love You, But It’s Time To Close This Chapter In My Life — Thought Catalog
Opportunities and the end of the year
I think that in some way, shape, or form life is always in movement. Even when you feel that nothing is happening time continues to go by. Recently I’ve gotten an opportunity of sorts to achieve the last goal on my list for 2015. It’s funny how you can talk about how much you want something but feel differently when it’s finally in front of you. One thing I’ve learned this year is that some opportunities only come once and that sometimes you have to both recognize and act on them without having a lot of background information. Another thing I’ve learned is that every opportunity isn’t a good one and that sometimes you have to make a choice based on long term goals and not what’s in front of you. What a year it’s been.
Music and Kids
Growing up, music was a big part of my life. Both of my grandfather’s appreciated good music and played it quite often whenever my family and I visited. One grandfather had a radio in every room playing a different radio station at all times. It was chaotic but still provided music to fill any resemblance of silence. There are a few members of my family who are quite musical and my grandfather decided that I should have the benefit of music as well. So I started piano lessons at age 5. I took to it like a fish to water. I had a great teacher named Aimee who let me teach myself and just have pointers. I don’t remember how she did it but she taught me to read music in a way that made it easy to learn. In fact, to this day I don’t remember not being able to read music because I was so young when I started. I remember getting my first music book and playing on the black notes before graduation to the white keys. I was so eager to learn that I learned all the music in the book within a week of getting the book. I practiced all the time and really enjoyed it. Abruptly after my lesson my wonderful teacher started to cry and told me that she was moving away. I was devastated. She referred me to another piano teacher who she promised would help me to develop my natural talent. The next teacher I had was a taskmaster. She had a ruler she would use to hit my knuckles when I hit a wrong note. She emphasized technique and memorization. I slowly felt my affection for the instrument fading away as it got swallowed by hours of practicing songs I didn’t like and keeping my nails short. The funny thing is that I actually started to improve. Eventually I changed teachers and started to get even better. I practiced a lot and was faithful in my hand exercises that were designed to make my fingers more nimble. I was being trained to be a classical pianist but my parents religious convictions about certain things prevented me from being in competitions. Needless to say, I knew I was good at playing but I never knew exactly where I was compared to others my age. My parents aspirations for my playing seemed to not go much higher than accompanying a church congregation. However I continued taking piano lessons–even when my favorite teacher died of cancer. All that being said, I had about 16 years of piano lessons. The longest hobby I’ve had to date. Playing an instrument taught me about discipline and sticking with something. I can still read music and I have a deep appreciation and respect for musicians and for music that actually has musical value. While I know that all kids aren’t musically gifted, I think that creative outlets are very important. Children who are perpetually bored tend to find non-productive ways to spend their time that sometimes become criminal in nature. That’s why I think it’s important to support the arts and expose children to somethingthat is new to them.
.
My $100 mistake
I’ll be the first to admit that my spending habits are not always as disciplined the way that they should be. This story happened about two years ago so it’s not super recent but it was a very valuable learning experience. Anyway, one of the things that I’ve come to enjoy are comedy shows because I like humor. Anyway, I was at a comedy show and I got an SOS message from a somewhat close acquaintance asking me to call them as soon as possible. Now, because it wasn’t from a member of my immediate family or close circle I decided to wait until after the show to call the person back. So I did. Thinking that it was some big emergency I called as soon the show was over somewhat concerned. The emergency was the fact that this person wanted to borrow some money from me. Now, when that happens the answer is usually a straight “no.” I hate mixing money with friends and acquaintances and usually will just give it away and not worry about it instead of wrecking a relationship. I don’t think that it’s worth the hassle of lending it out. Now, it wasn’t an obscene amount of money—about a hundred and a half (ish). It was for a good cause and they promised to pay me back the next week. However intuition, common sense, and intelligence were screaming “don’t do it!!!” But, to be honest I was at a point in my life where I was still searching for reasons to have faith in humanity. I guess it was a personal thing. I wanted to trust that this person had good intentions despite the fact that I had known them for a few short months. So, I said yes. Against my better judgment and trying to have faith in humanity and taking a risk. Second mistake in this fiasco was that I let this person use my debit card for the transaction that they so desperately needed. Well, not my actual card but I gave them all the appropriate numbers deciding to trust that they were trustworthy. So the next day I awoke to a text message that informed me that this person had “accidentally” charged $100 more than I had authorized on my card. Being that it was a debit card, the money was already gone from my account. It was then that I found out that the money was actually for this person’s friend who (ironically) I actually knew personally. It was then that my feelings toward the situation gravitated towards significant irritation and annoyance. Mostly at the fact that there was a more noticeable lack of funds in my bank account due to my own stupidity and not making a smart decision. Needless to say, I was only reimbursed the original amount which left me $100 poorer and it was a bad situation all around. Lesson learned. I guess the icing on the cake was a few unauthorized charges that appeared a few months later on my account totaling about $200 that required the freezing of my account and the issuing of a difference card with the accompanying stress. Faith in humanity substantially shaken. They say an ounce of experience is more than a pint of advice and I certainly learned a lesson.
My Favorite Non-Optimistic Song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bZfQEmG4i8
I’m somewhat of a music nerd that occasionally holds personal emotional listening parties in which I listen to music that depicts the emotion that I’m feeling. Happy, sad, angry, content, tired, or even annoyed. I think that most people have a go-to song that they use for motivation. Athletes sometimes even have a certain playlist of songs that they play before they have to go out on the field in order to get them into the mindset they need. This song is my absolute favorite song for when I’m feeling overwhelmed or upset and I want some empathy and also motivation. This song is perfect for me. I think that we’ve all had a “you can’t win” day. It’s a part of life. Whenever I have a day like that, I play this song and I instantly feel better. While the message of the song may not be the most optimistic, it’s a great depiction of how I feel when everything is going wrong. There’s no “everything will be ok” feel to this song but despite this, I still find it to be encouraging. We live in an uncertain world and sometimes life throws us curveballs that require us to regroup and adapt to unexpected changes. I like this song because it doesn’t pull any punches. There’s no rosy assertion that the sun will come out tomorrow. It’s pretty blunt. And sometimes that’s nice to hear when you’re upset or frustrated. It’s just an acknowledgment of how you feel. For me, it’s just a therapeutic intervention that never fails to cheer me up and helps me feel a little better on those days where nothing goes right.
3 Things I’ve Learned This Year
1. You can’t save everyone
I’ve learned the importance of doing my best and being ok with the results. It’s so easy to get caught up in the specifics while losing focus of the bigger picture and it’s equally important to think of both. People make their own choices at the end of the day and sometimes they aren’t the best.
2. When choosing between going on a trip and buying furniture, always pick the trip. Memories are more important than stuff and furniture isn’t an absolute necessity. Going to the beach easily trumps having a sofa any day.
3. Some battles just aren’t worth fighting. Pick them wisely and have a strategy in place. Weigh the pros and cons and know the possible long term ramifications of your decision. Prepare as much as possible and have a Plan B in place at all times.
Alisha's Angle 