Category Archives: What I Think

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Red Flags in Dating

My brother suggested that I watch this and must say that I agree with almost everything. There are so many times that people ignore red flags and they pay the price later. This one is more of a warning for guys. It’s a bit on the long side but kept my attention. We all know someone who fits the criteria for at least one red flag. I found myself watching and thinking of some of the people I know whose actions are portrayed at some point in the video. Emotional maturity isn’t always the easiest to find these days.

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Game Day

A few months ago I had the opportunity to attend a college football game. To be completely honest, I still don’t know all the rules of the game but it’s still fun to watch. The game was held in a city I consider to be my hometown of sorts. I lived there for 8 years as a kid. I remember all the traffic because of the people in town for game day, but never attended myself as a kid so I went back a decade later for the experience. The first thing that shocked me were the hotel prices that were hiked up several hundred dollars per night on a game weekend. Thankfully, I had a more reasonable option. On the day of the game I rode into the general vicinity with a friend and it was a sight to see. Thousands of people flooding into the stadium all wearing a combination of the same colors. Tailgating was quite popular as well. People seemed to be in a very happy mood and the only acceptable greeting was “Roll Tide.” The game chants began on the walk into the stadium and echoed into the stands. Normally, I spend extra to get decent seats at sporting events, but this time I decided to forgo my usual practice and sat up in the “rafters.” You could still see, but a misstep would be guaranteed death because of the height if you fell. There were people all dressed up in heels and dresses and some just opted for jeans and a shirt. Everyone was united on a common purpose–cheering the team on to victory. The beginning of the game was a huge production with entertainment provided by the band. The game itself was nothing short of an experience to watch. The home team was obviously better and we won without the opposing team scoring any points. I thought of the fact that a lot of people attend weekly religious services without meeting the person sitting next to them. However, it’s easy to have a running conversation about the game with all the people around you. Despite the sunshine being unusually warm, everyone seemed genuinely happy to be at the game. I can’t wait to experience it again. 

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This Year

It’s funny how quickly time can pass when you’re having fun–or even not having fun. Time passes even when it seems to be standing still. In a short period of time I’ll officially be a year older and hopefully a bit wiser. It’s usually around this time every year that I get somewhat nostalgic and ask myself yet again, “what am I doing with my life?” The answer never seems to be what I want. However, this past year was a game changer of sorts. I posted a lot about change and making hard decisions all throughout this year and some hard decisions were definitely made. I traveled a fair amount that included trips to France, Mexico, and Greece. I started a job that I realized wasn’t a great fit. I started working nights and stuck it out for a while. One of the biggest lessons learned this year was the importance of being clear about what I want and going after it. I met some pretty big goals simply because of planning and being willing to step outside the box to make it happen. I had a huge disappointment that made me reconsider the direction of my life–as most disappointments do. Ups and downs are a part of life and this year was no exception. However, I’ve learned a lot and matured as a result of being willing to challenge myself and some beliefs that I previously held. I did a overhaul of my life and relocated across the country just to start from the ground up and begin building again. Definitely not something for the faint of heart but I think it’ll work out

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Millennials on the job

I found this great article that I thought was especially relevant. You can read it here. I’ve have a variety of work experiences in my limited years of officially being in the workforce. One of the first things I discovered is that it’s nowhere as glamorous as the TV shows make it out to be. Yeah, it’s nice to be able to pay bills on time but in reality the day to day grind is typically pretty stressful. The author in this post asserts that it’s ok to get personal on the job. I agree to some extent because I know people who consider their coworkers to be extensions of their own family. It’s refreshing to work with a group of people you know well. However, it’s also nice to not feel obligated to invite your coworkers to events like your birthday party or wedding and be pleasant without sharing every detail of your life with those who work with you. The author of this article also mentions poor performance and culture as one of the reasons that millennials are frustrated. I think that a lot of people in my age bracket are realizing that having a job isn’t really all that it’s cracked up to be. Waking up at an ungodly hour on a Monday morning to slave away for the next 8 hours and then repeat for the next 4 days in a roll isn’t exactly the definition of having a good quality of life. Unlike many of the generations before me, I can’t imagine spending 40 years or more in the same position. Many young adults are more focused on doing something that makes an actual difference in the world instead of just clocking in. It’s more about the journey than the end goal (retirement) these days.

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The importance of closure

Not too long ago I had to make a decision that was uncomfortable but had to be done. I believe in trying to live without regrets and I knew that not taking action would result in regret later. Closure is something that has always been important to me. While it’s a luxury at times, the ability to wrap something up with a nice pretty bow before it’s discarded. There aren’t any loose ends to wrap up. I’ve learned the hard way that it is worth it sometimes to be uncomfortable for a moment instead of having a lifetime of regret. Usually closure is something that’s done for me in some weird twist of circumstances and fate. The difference in this situation was that the responsibility rested solely on me. I had to step up to the plate. I think that having closure is better than carrying around something that we have no control over. It helps us to move on and accept change. No, it may not have turned out the way we would have chosen but there’s a certain peace attached to being able to accept, adjust, and move forward because a chapter of our lives has ended. 

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Travel Reflections 

I just got back from an international trip and had an awesome time. It’s always humbling and eye opening to see how people live on other parts of the planet. Aside from a few moments of genuine anxiety and heart racing panic about missing the flight home and being stuck in an airport in Turkey, the trip was a success. We had a great travel agency, met a lot of fellow travelers, and enjoyed some amazing food. A few things I learned: 1. Travel lightly–hauling a 40lb suitcase plus a duffle bag was hard and I didn’t need everything I brought. 

2. Don’t be obnoxious– whenever I heard someone complaining loudly or whining 9 times out of 10 they were American. It’s embarrassing and gives Americans a bad reputation. 

3. Get off the beaten path. Ironically the BEST Chinese food I’ve had in my life was at a small restaurant on a Greek island. 

4. Talk to the locals. Some of the best suggestions and fun I’ve had has been the result of a local recommendation.

5. Make the most of the experience. Do as much as possible but spend your time wisely. You’ll still be just as jetlagged when you return home. 

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Too good to be true 

I’m often wary of deals that seem too good to be true because in my experience they usually are. Earlier this year (January actually). I set a goal of traveling more as I usually do every year. I don’t know why, but I picked one of the countries in Europe as one of the places that I wanted to travel to. I found a package deal that appeared to be very economical and invited a friend to buy the deal as well. Ironically, as I bought the travel package I was sitting in a hotel room in the middle of a snowstorm imagining the warmth of the sun on a sandy beach. Needless to say, pretty soon we will know if this deal was worth it or not. So if we end up somewhere in a foreign country with a run down hotel room without indoor plumbing and whatever else, we’ll know that the deal was too good to be true. I really hope that isn’t the case but it will be a much needed adventure regardless—hopefully without too much stress. However, some things are meant to be experienced and overseas travel has become one of my favorite things. After all, what better way to ensure that I do my research next time? 

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The family home

Growing up my siblings and I would make fairly frequent trips with our parents to my grandparent’s house up North. It was a drive usually done in the dead of night from Alabama or Georgia to Michigan. My grandparent’s house was always a welcome sight after 13 to 16 hours in a car. The great thing about the house was that it was the same one that my mother and her siblings had grown up in. It was very spacious with five bedrooms, three baths, and two kitchens. There was plenty of room for everyone and we never felt crowded. One thing that I specifically remember was the plush carpet. To this day I have never seen carpet so comfortable that you could easily fall asleep after laying on it for a few minutes. Often times these trips included my cousins. We would play outside on the playground in the summer and run around in the snow in the winter. My grandparent’s house became a second home of sorts. The great thing was that all 17 people in my extended family could stay in the same house comfortably without feeling cramped. When my grandfather died we all stayed in the house for week with additional people coming to crash for a few nights. While it was a sad occasion it was also nice having everyone in the same place for an extended period of time and since that time it hasn’t happened. I think having a family home is a great thing and as someone who likes a combination of stability and flexibility there’s a certain benefit to having someplace you can call home regardless of where you are in the world. It’s the best of both worlds without feeling confined to one geographical area. 

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A Sobering Truth

This article caught my eye and I wanted to blog about it because of its accurate description of an issue that many don’t want to address. You can read the article here. I don’t think that I’ve read an article that was so clear, honest. and straight forward about suicide. It’s a world that is foreign to a lot of people. Not because so few are affected, but because there’s little honest dialogue about it. The article reports that suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the state for people ages 10 to 44. This is highly disturbing for a lack of a better word and it’s a world that I live and breathe in since it is so closely connected to my profession and current line of work. An interesting irony is that depression can make you feel as if you’re the only person in the world whose is struggling but in reality there are millions who share a similar struggle. The common thread that I observe in a lot of patients who have either attempted or are contemplating suicide is that they don’t want to be in pain anymore. This pain can be emotional, physical, or a combination of both. It can be related to stress or a situation that was out of their control that significantly affected them in a negative way. In some situations just being alone with their thoughts starts a downward spiral that can be hard to interrupt. Another reason why having empathy and compassion is important along with being supportive and knowing resources can be helpful. You don’t always know the internal struggles and battles of those around you.