Lately, I’ve been working on becoming more self aware. One part of this process was taking a personality test. I had to take about 4 of them in my undergraduate program because it was required and my teachers wanted us to all be aware of our various personalities and how it would affect our careers. Since then, I haven’t taken other test except for one that told you what your personality was after you picked colors in a certain sequence. That being said, this new test that I took really was eye-opening. It was called the DISC assessment and I had never heard of it before but apparently it’s pretty popular. Scoring the test after I took it was pretty intense but I was somewhat surprised with the results. I scored almost exactly the same for two of the personality types. I was a “C” for conscientious and “D” for dominance. And while these personality types were both task oriented, the “C” was more analytical and methodical in finding information. In contrast the “D” was more dominant and more likely to act out of impulse when making decision and was also more ego-centric. The test was actually pretty accurate and I could see situations where both personality traits were used. I was somewhat surprised at the Dominant aspect because I’m not someone who has to always be applauded. Sure, I like power and influence, but who doesn’t? I do love a good challenge and if I don’t think that I can do it, I’m always going to push myself to the limit to see if it’s possible. I like to work independently and I’m pretty decent at managing troubles. In fact, I once was able to convince a stranger over the phone not to press legal action on the place where I was working. I really feel as if my personality is a mixture of my environment and social interactions and I’ve noticed that I’m somewhat of a chameleon and I can easily blend in when I’m with groups of people. If you haven’t taken a personality test, I’d definitely recommend it. You’ll learn a lot. Guaranteed.
Tag Archives: advice
Feelings don’t matter
Feelings DO matter–in certain situations. However there are times in our lives that we don’t feel like doing anything. We’re frustrated, energy levels are low, and sometimes we’re just upset. You can’t allow how you feel to always dictate your life. There’s a difference between being aware of your feelings and planning your life based on how you feel at the moment. It’s all about maturity and being able to differentiate between what you FEEL and what you KNOW–which could be two totally different entities. Keep your end goal in mind and realize that where you want to be matters a lot more than your present feelings about it.
Stop wasting time
All of us at some point in time have either experienced personally or heard stories of unrequited love. There are dozens of movies where the main characters never actually get together and we are all somewhat let down by this turn in the script. It’s easy to feel that if you love someone they’ll love you back. However, reality often paints a totally different picture. I remember hearing someone tell me that if two people meet and they click, the relationship is automatically dysfunctional because all humans are naturally attracted to dysfunction. I tend to disagree to some extent with that perspective because I think that healthy, well-adjusted, and emotionally intelligent people can have really successful relationships without some of the usual dysfunction. No one wants to be in love alone. It sucks. However, one characteristic of emotional maturity in my opinion is that you can recognize when something is a lost cause. Not because you’re admitting failure, but because you’re accepting the reality of the situation. When you’ve done all you can to show interest in a person and let them know that there is an interest, there’s no need to beat yourself up if they don’t return that interest in you. We can’t make people like us or even make them love us. Continuing to push your love and affection on someone who doesn’t want it is a COMPLETE waste of time. If they wanted you or were in a place emotionally where they could accept and return affection, they would. But to do the same thing over and over again, hoping that the other individual will change and miraculously like you back is pretty much the definition of insanity. Time is money and it is a waste of emotional energy to continue emotionally giving
while hoping for a different result than you’ve got.
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Beating the Odds
One of the things that occurred to me today was the fact that I like situations where the odds are stacked against me. Even when I watch sports (which rarely happens) I always find myself cheering for the underdog. There’s just something about winning and succeeding when the odds are against you. I can’t say that I grew up in an environment where the odds were against me. Although being homeschooled until college put me in a position where I felt that I had to succeed and that the odds were against me. I have never been in a traditional educational environment before and it was all new to me. I worked hard and was able to finish college AND graduate school in four and a half years. The odds were definitely against me in that situation. I remember hearing a quote that basically said that no one remembers “try-ers” they remember winners. The more the odds are stacked against me, the more motivated I am to beat them. I get creative looking for solutions that will put me in a good position. I become extra deliberate in making sure that everything is in place and that all my actions have a purpose. I focus my energies on one thing and also constantly re-evaluate my strategy and my approach. Beating the odds requires guts. One of my favorite sayings is “epic dreams require epic sacrifices.” The truth is that if I’m really serious about what I want, I’ll take the necessary steps to get it. I’ll focus my time and energy in achieving what I want. Beating the odds takes both motivation and dedication to the process of doing what is required to succeed. Yes, it’s often uncomfortable and pretty inconvenient but at the end of the day, I plan to beat the odds. And I will. Period.
The Friend Dilemma
One of the very first things that couples often say or even promise to each other after a breakup is that they’ll stay friends. They swear up and down that this little “hiccup” in their romantic relationship will not affect their friendship. I think that this “staying friends” idea is just a way for both parties to feel better about the breakup. I don’t think that it’s possible for couples to be friends right after they break up. There’s too much history. Emotions are raw. The reality that they’re not together any more hasn’t even settled in yet. There needs to be a clean break that allows both people to heal and to regroup. I think that ex-couples can be friends after they both have gotten over the break up. It’s easy to claim to be friends when on ex-partner wants to resume the relationships and uses the “just friends” story in order to make a demand on the other ex-partner’s attention and time. All this could be easily avoided if both individuals took the time to honestly evaluate their feelings and to regroup. There’s no need to be friends right after a breakup. It doesn’t serve a purpose and (in my opinion) is just plain dumb. Thoughts?
Potential Patrol
I love potential. I admit it. Not necessarily potential in myself, but potential in other people. I think of potential and ambition as somewhat linked together. I can see all the potential in the world in someone but if they don’t have ambition, they are just a waste of potential. No one reaches their potential accidentally. It takes planning and a desire to do something worthwhile. I remember when I was about 10 or 11, I decided that I would do something productive with my life. While I don’t know if I’ll ever “arrive” and proclaim that I’ve reached my potential, I do know that I’ll be able to honestly say that I tried. As much as I like potential, I don’t think that it should form the basis of any type of relationship. People rarely change and when they do, it’s their decision. Being in a relationships with someone thinking that you’ll inspire them to do better and to reach their potential is stupid. Plain and simple. You want to be with someone who has shown some kind of progress toward fulfilling their potential. No, they don’t have to have fulfilled it yet, but actually knowing about it is a good first step. I think that women are notorious for making huge investments in a potential partner because they see potential. However, they quickly are disappointed because potential does not equal ambition. Why not avoid the disappointment and be with someone who has actually made an effort to fulfill their potential? Chances are, you’ll be happier with that decision. Everyone has potential. Few have ambition.
Who knew this about online dating?
Who knew this about online dating?
This article was really interesting to read because I’ve always viewed online dating as sort of a gamble. I think that sometimes meeting someone online robs you of really knowing who they are. The tv show, Catfish on MTV is very indicative of that.
My Pre-Valentine’s/Single Awareness Day thoughts
It’s that time of the year again. A lot of people are nervous because they aren’t sure if they’ll be on the receiving end of a day set apart to express love. Millions of singles are now contemplating why they are single AGAIN this year. What they did wrong, and what they are going to do to avoid getting sucked into the “woe is me because I’m alone on V-day” annual party in their brain. Other take to social media sites proclaiming that they don’t care what day it is because Jesus loves them and they’re perfectly happy. Yet, no one REALLY believes them. Others are wondering if this is the year that they’ll get engaged to their significant other. He already knows EXACTLY what setting the ring should be and they went looking at rings SIX MONTHS ago. Anxious, Agitated, Upset, Frustrated, Excited, Vulnerable, Bitter, and Sadness are all some emotions that describe this love holiday for some people. The truth is that we all want to feel some type of secure connection to someone else. And most of us like the idea of being treated to something special because someone appreciates and loves you. This also happens to be the time of year when someone gets unexpectedly dumped on the most (supposedly) romantic day of the year. I want to advise all of you to not get caught up in the hype if you don’t want to. A significant other is someone who is significant to you 365 days out of the year and not just one romantic night. Valentine’s day is what you make it. Plain and simple. If you have someone, fine. If you don’t, fine. One day should not ruin your month or year. Love can occur at any time in a year and it’s important to be open to possibilities instead of stacking all your hopes and dreams on one solitary day out of 364 other ones. Decide that you’re okay–regardless of the presence or lack of the presence of a significant other on ONE SINGLE DAY. To the single people, there’s no reason, and I mean NO reason to allow V-Day to depress you for months. Learn more, grow more….after all, February 15th is just around the corner.
Why make it harder for yourself?
I talked to a friend of mine recently who had just gotten engaged. Now this person had just graduated from college and was planning to go to law school. She announced to me that she was not going to get married until after she completed law school. The reason? She wanted her maiden name on her diploma. She went on further to explain that she liked her last name and did not want the name of someone else on the piece of paper that commemorated her hard work. Being in a relationship is hard. It doesn’t naturally come easy for most people because a lot of times they have a different agenda than their partner. I don’t know of a couples that agrees on everything. Come to think of it, being with someone who agreed with everything I said would just make me upset and extremely annoyed. Variety is good, and while you and your partner might not always be on the same page, ya’ll should always be in the same book. With the rise of social media, many couples feel that they should have unrestricted access to the profile and message of the other. Others disagree and argue that each person has a right to privacy. Whatever you agree on, stick to it. Relationships are hard work. Why make them harder?
Alisha's Angle 