I have to admit that I tend to be an all or nothing type of person. While I try my best to be flexible, I’m happier when things go my way. Traveling has become a pretty big hobby for me now but I find that it’s difficult to switch between vacation mode and work mode. Weekend trips are great but they tend to end too soon and it’s hard to not think about work when you have 48 hours before you have to go back. It’s easier for me to work hard for a period of time and then go exploring than to switch back and forth. I like longer vacations because I think that it actually gives you time to unwind and relax. As much as a regular job with minimal time off can be exhausting, it’s important to have something to look forward to as motivation. When I’m in work mode I’m a homebody. I’m focused and I’m counting down the days to vacation. I’m not looking for new places to explore because I’m focused on doing what I need to do in order to take a much needed break.
Today in lieu of being at work (which typically is the case on weekends), I had the chance to watch several episodes of Fix My Life on OWN. I was intrigued by the work that Iyanla does with couples. On a particular episode she addressed a couple who had been married 20 years but weren’t sure if they wanted to stay married. Iyanla brought up the point that wedding vows typically say “until death do us part” but they aren’t specific on what type of death warrants parting ways. Is it a physical death? The death of one’s commitment? Or is it the death of one’s individuality or emotional stability and wellbeing? What exactly does it mean? I think that these questions are up to each couple to define. However, I wonder how many couples actually have this type of conversation? It’s easy to promise something when you’re happy and naive but it’s a different story when you’re in the midst of a relational crisis. This is another reason why I think pre-marital counseling can be so important. It can bring up questions that you hadn’t considered before and help you lay a solid foundation for a successful relationship.
Not too long ago I received a random phone call at work from someone claiming to be a distressed parent. I’ve learned to be cautious and not always trust who someone is over the phone because it literally could be anyone. This person when on to say that they had gone through the main number and had gotten transferred to me. Their teenaged child had had an accident and the supposed parent was trying to find out what happened. My suspicious were quickly awakened when I was told that the accident happened over two days ago. The parent was worried that their child had not returned home and wanted to know the outcome. One thing that stood out to me was the fact that this supposed parent had not heard from their child in over 48 hours and had not even tried to actually physically visit the area hospital to check on their child’s status or find out if they had been admitted. I’m not a parent but I can’t imagine not hearing from my child and knowing that they’re injured but not taking the time to physically visit them and find out from staff how they’re doing. But to each his or her own I suppose. There’s a high probability the person wasn’t who they claimed they were. But I’ll never know.
God & ManLet me tell you about people who love deeply. They are wells of feeling. Storms of hope and heart that never know when to stop the downpour. People who love deeply are both soft and strong, they are whirlwinds of rarity that will only ever know how to empty themselves out for the…
Earlier this week I had the chance to chat with a friend (I’m using this term loosely) that I catch up with about once a year. We usually meet up in person but schedules wouldn’t allow it so we had to settle for a video chat. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and there were SO many things left unsaid that the conversation just felt heavy? It was like that. I was cool and kept it as surface and general as possible without getting into anything too personal. Annual conversations aren’t the best outlet to bare your soul. But as I talked to him I remembered the memories we’ve had over the years. I remember a moment when we were hanging out and I felt both incredibly happy and incredibly sad at the same time. It was a bittersweet moment in exponential proportions. It’s interesting how conversations with someone can bring back so many memories. I realized that I haven’t met anyone lately who even remotely compares to him education wise and also in ambition. While it’s not a bad thing, it does make dating just a little bit harder. The point is that there are some people in your life who you love but you really should only speak to once a year.
I woke up this morning to an article that a friend sent to me asking me to read. You can read the article here. I feel like the author hit the nail on the head. As someone who tends to give a general disclaimer to romantic prospects that I can be intense, I could definitely relate to the author’s words. It’s like running a race and having a lot of false starts. It’s easy to get attached when you want to get attached and as a result it can be hard to discern clearly what exactly is happening. You get tired of being the only one there for you and you just want a companion. It can be a two edged sword because being too open too quickly can be a recipe for disaster while staying closed off means that the relationship will never grow. Balance is key.
I’m not a huge TV watcher but I have to admit that this season of Scandal has been interesting to say the least. Like a lot of people, I’ve been watching from the beginning and the twists and turns never fail to amaze me or keep my attention. I’ve been particularly drawn to the character of Huck. He’s been through so much trauma but has managed to become pretty high functioning after a bout of homelessness and psychological trauma. Deep down, Huck is a family guy. He has a soft spot for women and children. Perhaps because it reminds him of his past and his ex-wife and son. One of the episodes this season highlighted him as a character and revealed that he has a blind spot when it comes to helping defenseless women and it puts him in a place of vulnerability. To the point that he ignores his intuition and lets his guard down. Needless to say I hope that his blind spot doesn’t lead to his untimely demise and that he pulls through because he’s one of my favorite characters on the show. I guess we’ll see what the rest of the season will bring.