Nobody’s Fool (the movie)

On a recent 11 hour flight I had the opportunity to catch up on some movies that I did not make an effort to see while they were in theaters and I ran across Nobody’s Fool. The premise of the movie is pretty simple. There’s a successful woman who has a sister released from prison and the sister comes to stay with her. This woman is in a yearlong relationship with a guy she has never met in person. The movie revolves around finding out the truth about the mystery guy and a budding romance between her and a local coffee shop owner. However, the more subtle messages that seem to accompany most of Tyler Perry’s movies were definitely front and center with this one. Most of his movies involves a successful woman who is missing out because she won’t give a guy with a colored background a chance. Or, the heroine is with a good guy already but she wants excitement so she gives it up for someone more attractive and loses everything in the end. In this particular movie, the main character was struggling with being attracted to someone with a felony and history of substance abuse. But he had changed his life and was now a productive member of society. It’s not a secret that everyone is not born with the same opportunities. Mistakes that are made between the ages of 15 and 25 can drastically change the trajectory of someone’s life. While I understand the importance of not judging someone based on their past, it’s also important to take their past into consideration. The movie ended on a happy note with the successful woman professing her love for the changed man in the rain. She had found someone who loved her but she just needed to look past his past. It was a (seemingly) lovely message but the real world tends to be just a bit more complicated. Changed people aren’t always changed and sometimes old habits can die hard.

20 Lessons I’ve Learned Since Leaving the Church

This!!! Not everything, but mostly. I can relate to a lot.

 

 

I haven’t been to church in over a year now, and I’ve been pondering how I should address what I’ve discovered along the way. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, y…

Source: 20 Lessons I’ve Learned Since Leaving the Church

The Hair Chronicles

Like many black women, I have a love-hate relationship with my hair. It really tends to have a mind of its own and rarely submits to my commands. These days there’s a lot of hype on embracing one’s natural beauty and avoiding chemicals in order to leave hair in its natural state. About a year or so ago my hair was very damaged and required a hairdresser intervention. She gave me a protective style in order to help my hair to grow back. I’ve always had very thick hair that was challenging to manage. Growing up, my mother used a relaxer on it for a few years and then changed her mind deciding that I needed to go natural. It was ok for a few years. I didn’t look my age because of the cornrows but I really didn’t care that much because we lived in the middle of nowhere (literally) with no boys in sight for miles. However, after moving to the Atlanta metro area I decided it was time for a change and (finally) my dad backed me up in getting my hair relaxed again so it would be easier to style. Fast forward two days ago when I finally took my hair out of the protective style that it had been in for over a year. My hair was completely chemical free. I washed and dried it about 3 times in an attempt to get it to the point that I could comb through it. I broke several combs in the process and still was unable to get through all the tangles. It literally would not cooperate and I decided that I needed to see an expert. Once at the hairshop I had a brief consultation with my stylist who took one look at my hair and recommended putting a relaxer back in. As much as I liked the idea of being chemical free, the day to day upkeep of it was a commitment that I just was not willing to make. So I agreed and I am now back on the creamy crack. I can comb through my hair and now I can swim and workout without altering my entire day. It’s a beautiful thing. Will I ever go natural again? To be honest, probably not.

What Everyone is Talking About Right Now

I haven’t done a lot of posts on current world events, but like most of the world I was shocked and saddened by the events that happened this week at the church in Charleston. As someone who lived a relatively short distance from the Aurora theater shooting, this incident affected me in a different way. It wasn’t the act of a deranged person, it was someone who targeted a group of people solely because of the color of their skin. Someone who knew that most people don’t carry their weapons to church and who tend to be vulnerable not only emotionally but physically as well. Race related crimes are nothing new in this country. They’ve been happening for hundreds of years and despite the assertions of many idealistic and sadly misguided persons, we don’t live in a post-racial society. The election of someone to the highest office in the country doesn’t erase the attitudes that have been over a hundred years in the making. As soon as the incident happened people began to talk about the excuses that would be made for the shooter. Just like clockwork it happened with almost all the news circuits searching high and low to find a motive that did not involve race. They painted it as an isolated incident and something that is outside of the norm. Black people have been specifically targeted and killed for long period of time and it continues to happen. Since this incident there have been more discussions about increased security measures in churches than the deeper issue of racially motivated massacres. I was reading some tweets the other day that discussed the fact that there is an expectation that black people just forgive and move on. That they continue to turn the other cheek and refuse to classify all people of a certain race into a negative category–a luxury that they’ve never had at any point in this country. It just doesn’t make sense to me and I don’t think it ever will. There’s a lot of racist people in the South, but there’s also a lot of racist people everywhere. It’s an issue that most people are either reluctant to address or stay in denial that there is one. I’ve never been an optimist and at this point I have absolutely no faith in humanity. It’s a shame.

Black Coffee

I rarely make comments on movies but this particular one that is fairly new on Netflix deserves recognition. I must admit I am someone who is wary of black movies with black titles due to the fact that my experience has been less than satisfactory. Bad movies are best when watched with a group of friends because it’s a bonding experience. But I digress, this movie was one of the good ones. Without telling about the entire plot, I can say that this movie made my inner hopeless romantic very happy. It centers around a man and a woman who find out that they are soul mates. Before I go any further, I feel that it’s important to note that the leading and supporting actors are not only somewhat, if not actually talented but also easy on the as well. One thing I really appreciate is that the main male character is extremely articulate about what he wants in a significant other AND he demonstrates a willingness to step outside the box and pursue a new venture. Both of these are characteristics I wish more movies would portray in their scripts. Overall, I must say that I would recommend this movie because it makes you think about gender roles and the necessary things that make relationships last. And that’s something worth thinking about.

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Black(ish)

photoSo I just had the chance to watch the first episode of this new series on ABC. I will say that the name of the show was somewhat disturbing to me but after watching an episode, I better understood the rationale behind it. I’m not a super big TV watcher but this one intrigued me. Without giving away any super huge spoilers I wil say that this show addresses many of the challenges that comes along with being black in a very professional, corporate, and majority European American environment. Many times in these situations, you end up being a scapegoat for the entire race. I’ve been in situations where I was asked for the black perspective. Honestly, to this day I have no idea what exactly that is. This show is a depiction of the challenges of being black but not fitting into the neat little box of stereotypes that people envision you to be. The challenges of going against the status quo while not leaving your people behind. Playing the line between being relatable and competent while not losing your credibility with those who look like you is really hard. That’s one of the reasons why I really like the honesty in this show so far. There’s not an exact science to it and you can’t please everyone.