While technically Valentine’s Day is over, I was reminded today while scrolling social media of all the years that I wanted to be in a relationship. While that goal was accomplished last year, it’s been interesting how much less the holiday means after being shown love and kindness throughout the other 364 days of the year. There were a lot of sad people today who spent the day alone or with people that they may not have genuinely cared about or loved. Relationships are so much more than what happens in a 24 hour period. While I love grand gestures and gifts, I’ve come to a deeper appreciation for the small meaningful things that make life easier. Being able to delegate difficult tasks, having a friend I can talk to, requesting an occasional foot rub are all things that at one point in my life I never expected to have. As I’ve continued to work with couples, I’m reminded of the importance of consistency in relationships. Trust and commitment don’t happen overnight. They both are traits that are cultivated through time and energy and many people don’t make the investment that is necessary for success. When something is important to you, you make time for it and ensure that it is a priority. Taking the time to water your own grass (figuratively) and invest in the health of your relationship will reap benefits. Just make sure you’re with the right person.
I can’t lie. I absolutely love going to the beach. There’s just something inherently peaceful about large bodies of water. Last week I went to south Florida to spend some time on the beach and it was absolutely amazing. Even though I came back with a mild sunburn as a souvenir, it was worth it. One day I’ll live close to a beach and sit out every day for a little bit.
Recently I watched American Sniper–a movie that I always wanted to see but also somewhat dreaded. I’ve always been pretty sensitive and I try to stick to watching comedies. This was a movie about war and its horrors. There’s so much controversy now on what to do when the national anthem is played and all of a sudden people take it personal when someone exercises their constitutional right and peacefully protests. It’s interesting to me how a lot of the most vocal people complaining aren’t military members. The movie tells the story of a sniper who saved fallen comrades. It’s a great movie but the realities of war are hard to watch. I think that everyone should travel to the American cemetery in France where you can see the graves of soldiers of all ages and backgrounds who died to liberate others. I have to admit that I didn’t expect American Sniper to end the way that it did. I went and read about the book that it was based on. It’s not a happy movie but it’s a needed one that showed to some extent how serious PTSD can be. I remember meeting an army sniper in real life. He was in his early twenties but sobbed like a baby as he told me about how he shot a little boy who looked to be about the age of his brother. It was so sad to see how tortured he felt after doing his job and following the orders of his superiors. War is a horrible thing, but I wonder if people know that it’s possible to support the troops and not stand up for the National Anthem. Actions like that should never be mandated if we’re truly “the home of the free.” Furthermore, you can support the troops and advocate for better resources without agreeing with everything the military does. But that’s just my two cents.