I have a theory that many people who have experienced financial hardship at some point in their lives have found a struggle meal. Now, a struggle meal is a meal that you would not normally eat if you had a decent looking bank account. It can be as simple as ordering off the dollar menu at a fast food store or even buying store brand butter and sugar to make sandwiches. While I haven’t known the poverty that comes from not knowing where my next meal is coming from, I do know the uncomfortable feeling of an overdrawn bank account and a week or two before the next payday. Not a great thing. Ironically my “struggle food” is lentils with vegetables and rice. It’s also probably my lazy food as well when I don’t feel like preparing anything for a few days. My point is that when you are working towards a goal you make the necessary sacrifices because you want a good end result. You forgo always splurging because you’re saving up for something. The sacrifices now pave the way for the rewards down the line. Then you can have a commemorative struggle meal instead of a real one.
Author Archives
Retiring a Discussion
I ran across this article pretty recently and it quickly caught my interest. I’ve included a link here . I’ve seen seminars, books, webinars, and programs all addressing this topic. So many people (both men and women) claim to have the magic formula and list their own love story as the proof that their way works. This article was specifically addressing a Black women as a group. Between the interpersonal cues, relationship coaching, speed dating, and other means of “catching” a significant other. The article challenges that thought behind the idea that a woman’s life should be defined by her relationship status. But let’s face it, unmarried women who don’t have kids aren’t typically looked upon with the same level of respect as career women who are married and raising their kids and balancing it all in a (seemingly) effortless manner. The article highlights the fact that shame is often a part of the internal narrative of black women and explored how one’s relationship status can contribute to levels of shame. That thought made me wonder how many products and advertisements are targeted to someone’s level of shame. Products that are marketed in a way that make you feel inadequate unless you become a consumer of the product. Very thought provoking read.
V-Day
So the most hated and loved holiday is once again upon us. As fate would have it, this particular holiday falls on a weekend so there’s plenty of opportunity for all the salty people to post their thoughts on this commercialized show of affection. Emotions can be high on both sides but this year I get to greet the holiday with a massive dose of indifference. Finally. While I would love to attribute this to a paradigm shift and a change of perspective, that isn’t the case. I’m just exhausted from working a lot of night shifts and have other important things to focus on. The whole “woe is me” and telling everyone on social media how much you love yourself and don’t need someone else is so played out. It’s not the end of the world so stop acting like it is. Everyone wants to be profound or drop some essential knowledge but it’s not necessary. The truth of the matter is that if you only tell your loved ones that you love them once a year it’s extremely pointless. People want to feel appreciated all the time– or at the minimum more than once a year. Opportunities exist, seize them and don’t try to cram every romantic gesture into a 24 hour period.
Challenges of Adulthood
It’s funny how adulthood doesn’t always turn out the way that you planned as a kid. I remember having a grand vision for my life as a kid that included doing what I wanted when I wanted to. Each birthday was a year closer to being 18 which was the magic number in my mind where I would suddenly emancipate from the endless rules of my parents. One perk of having a non-traditional education meant that i had a little more time than most my age. After finishing high school a few weeks after I turned 17 I decided that I wanted to take a break so I did. For the next year I chilled at home and took community college classes with the intention to hit the ground running when I began college. The great thing about that year was that I could collect my thoughts with minimal responsibilities. During that time I sold books door to door and even sold knives. I know a lot of people who went directly from high school to college and still had no idea what they wanted to do with their life. They go through a year or two and drift from major to major spending large amounts of money they don’t really have. The thing about young adulthood is that you expect to have more answers than you did as a kid when in fact you just encounter more questions. You want the world to be black and white but sometimes it ends up being a really weird shade of gray. The thing I like about being an adult is that it was similar to what I imagined as a kid. I do what I want, when I want. The sad part is that there are also hundreds of stipulations to that simple fact. The stakes are higher, the consequences for stupid mistakes can easily wreck the future. It’s similar to driving in a fog on a dark night. You know where you’re going but still can’t see five feet ahead of you and your headlights just illuminate how much more fog is ahead.
Mine -the song
I love Ledisi’s voice and about a week ago I went and bought her latest album that was released early last year entitled “The Truth.” It’s been the best album that I’ve gotten this year so far. This particular song has been replaying over and over on my phone and in my head. I’m listening to it as I’m driving, writing, and even working out. The lyrics and the melodies in this song are amazing. There’s not a huge amount of extras added but it keeps your attention without becoming one of those washed up songs about love that isn’t reciprocated. The thing that I love about Ledisi is that she’s such a versatile artist and her songs on this album are a showcase of her range and her musical flexibility. The lyrics to her songs also make sense and they express genuine human emotion and feelings that make it easy to relate to.
The Interview
Recently, I had a small amount of free time and decided to spend it watching the controversial movie The Interview. First off, it was a movie I never would have paid to go to. However “free ninety-nine” was a price I could afford. There aren’t many movies that I’ve seen where I’ve thought the world would be a better place if it had never been made, and this one definitely fit in that category. First off, I’m a funny person although most people don’t know that about me. I have a super dry and sarcastic at times type of humor. That being said, the scene in the movie with the Eminem interview was the best part. However, the story line just went downhill after that. I’ve seen The Dictator before and The Interview was pretty much the same thing to the nth degree. To make a comedy about an existing country and their still living leader could not have been the brightest idea ever. As I said before, I like comedies but I found myself laughing and then remembering that it wasn’t funny because it was an actual country with people who probably are experiencing a lack of some of the rights that citizens in some other countries have. The humor could be easily classified as dark and it was definitely not a “feel good” movie. The ending moral of the story was that you can’t trust that a foreign leader is telling the truth and that they are always waiting to stab you in the back or attack you. Not a great message when world peace is still clearly needed in the world.
Trying to sleep
I’ve always been somewhat of a night owl. I remember being forced to go to bed in the summer when it was still light outside and reading until I could no longer see the words on the page. Looking back, that’s probably why I started wearing glasses at an early age. In college, sleep became a priority that I held in high importance. Yet, I remember an ENTIRE semester where I went to bed at midnight or later every night with 22 credit hours and two jobs. It wasn’t the best schedule for my health but I stayed relatively healthy without any major mishaps. The silver lining to that semester was that i finished with a 3.9 GPA. I recently transitioned to working nights and it’s been a huge adjustment. When I worked nights before I flip flopped between days and nights and came closer than I wanted to losing my mind with the lack of sleep. My new schedule is still fairly brutal but it provided the escape that I needed from a 9-5 schedule which I really strongly dislike. Through this process I have had a renewed appreciation for sleep. I know that I don’t want to do nights for the rest of my life because I don’t want chronic insomnia. For now, sleep is once again a priority and I’ll have to get creative so that I have enough to function.
Ready Aim-The Song
I like some acoustic versions of songs and this piece is one of them. For some reason it’s been playing on my computer for the past week. I love the way that the words to the song match the melody–even to the point that the melody tells a story that the lyrics mirror. I looked up the lyrics and Mali seems to be describing the process of pushing through obstacles as you try to make a tangible difference in the world. I admit, that his playing is not all that great but his unique voice is so perfect for this particular version. You can feel that he’s passionate about what he’s singing and makes the declaration “you can’t shoot me down” you can tell that he believes it. One thing I really like about this rendition is that you can feel the emotion through the song. These days, that’s not really typical.
Relationship Ingredients
A few years ago I got the brilliant thought of building rapport with someone who I wanted to get to know better. Of course I had to make the process more complicated then it had to be. One of the characteristics that I find most important is the presence of quality time. I think it’s hard to be genuine friends with someone when you barely know them because you haven’t spent enough time with them. There was a lot of strategy and thinking involved in the process of building rapport. The funny thing was that I really didn’t even speak to this person on a regular basis. I just went out of my way to have conversations with them and to have meaningful interactions. The funny thing was that while we were never close there was enough rapport to have inside jokes and to communicate entire sentences telepathically. The whole experience reminded me how friendships and relationships aren’t always an exact science. To this day when I get a random hello or some way of recognition from him I’m not super excited or flattered because I worked for it. The truth is that when you go out of your way to make someone feel special and take a genuine interest in them they’ll be much more likely to remember you. I feel like that’s the basis of a lot of good relationships. Common goals and experiences along with time.
I Love Myself: 40-Year-Old Woman Marries Herself In Lavish Houston Wedding Ceremony
I can’t speak to the authenticity of this article but the concept was certainly interesting. Let it be noted that in the pictures published, I didn’t notice any men. I wonder if this choice will affect this woman’s chances for getting married in the future. While I can’t imagine inviting my family and friends to a ceremony for myself, I can see where she was coming from. A wedding is something many women look forward to for decades and she didn’t want to not have the experience because of her lack of a significant other. I wonder if we’ll see these type of ceremonies grow in popularity in the coming years? Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t imagine spending thousands of dollars on a wedding without having a groom. But it looks like it worked for her.
Alisha's Angle 