Tag Archives: choices

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The Roles of a Social Worker

So the month of March is Social Work month so I thought that I should post something related to that. To be honest, I didn’t want to be a social worker growing up. I wanted to go to medical school and be an ER doctor. Unfortunately my high school education in the sciences was very skimpy. I took Algebra I and II and Biology. No chemistry whatsoever. Needless to say, I quickly realized after my first Biology class that I was missing a whole lot of the fundamentals. To be honest I had no idea what I wanted my major to be as I began to prepare to move away from home and start college. While I knew that I wanted to go to medical school, I knew that I didn’t want to major in the sciences. I remember standing in the registration line for college and when I got to the counter the registration lady asked what major I wanted to declare. For some reason the words “social work” came out my mouth and I just stuck with it. I did this with the understanding (at least in my head) that I would just take all the classes needed in order to ensure my admission into medical school. However I soon realized that without any reference point in the sciences, I would have a hard time taking the necessary classes and actually passing them. So I did what any person with common sense would do—quickly formulated a plan B. I decided that the social sciences were more suited for me and they held my interest. One of the things that I like about social work is that it’s very person centered and takes the individual, their background, and their environment into consideration. The field is so diverse and there are a lot of opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others. While I love the other social sciences, I’m appreciative of my social work education because it is fairly practice based and while there are mounds of paperwork, many times I get the chance to actually interact with people and implement interventions that improve their quality of life. 

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Love is a choice

To love is to be vulnerable. So we’re back in February which is also known as the month of love. Not too long ago, I watched a movie (can’t remember the name) where one of the characters told the other that the first person to say “I love you” to their significant other loses. I also watched the episode of New Girl (love that show) where Nick finally blurts out to Jess that he loves her and she totally freaks out. In no way am I anti-love, but I can understand the vulnerability that comes with being the first one to use the word “love” directed towards a significant other. Scary stuff. One thing that grinds my gears is when couples say that they aren’t in love anymore and that their feelings have changed toward each other. True love isn’t based on how we feel at the moment. It’s more complicated than that. So many people are under the false assumption that you have to be with the person that you love. Loving from a distance can take more guts than being with the person that you love. Sometimes loving someone means that you respect their choices–even if you don’t agree with it or know that they would be better off with you. It involves putting your feelings to the side because at the end of the day, feelings can come and go. A genuine interest, respect for someone, and a desire to do anything necessary to ensure their success are some of the many aspects of true love. So what if your feelings change? Love has to go deeper than that. One of my Facebook friends posted that when you love someone you don’t ever actually stop loving them, you just learn how to move on. You can still love someone after letting go of them because your love shouldn’t be dependent on their actions. Love is a choice. It’s a choice that should be made wisely because if you really love someone you don’t stop loving them. Even if you don’t agree with their decisions. This, by default, puts you in a position of vulnerability and you had better hope that the other person is in a similar spot of vulnerability because it’s never fun being in love alone. Ever. Because to love is to be vulnerable.

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Second Guesses

I really need to make this a quick post because I’m playing hooky from this homework that I need to attend to. So here goes. I’m the type of person (and always have been) that second guesses myself. I’m great at making split second decisions. I can weigh the pros and cons appropriately and come to a logical conclusion. However, after the decision is made, I over-analyze it to death and then start to worry that I’ve missed some important piece of information that was critical to the decision that was just made. Very sad I know. Thankfully, I’ve usually taken enough time before the decision is made to know that it is the right one, but it still doesn’t eliminate my bad habit of second guessing the decision. I’m an analyzer by nature. I like cause and effect and knowing what will happen if I do something or make a certain choice. I’m also a risk taker, but these risks are very calculated and strategic based on prior knowledge of the situation. I like to know. While I’m not necessarily a worrier, (is that a word?) I hate to miss opportunities that could benefit me in the long run. I remember hearing someone say that sometimes it’s pointless to mull over something forever and that you just have to make a decision and live with the consequences. While I think that this is true, I also don’t want to miss something huge. I’m not someone who is indecisive though. When I need to make a decision I can make it almost instantly based on the information that I have and I’ll stick with it despite the fact that I second guess it. I want to get better at making decisions and not second guessing them because it really takes the time and energy that I could be using to do something more productive. There’s definitely always room for improvement.

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Decisions, decisions

In the past few days I have been presented, or rather challenged with a big decision. I’m usually pretty good at making decisions. I have my own method of looking at the pros and cons and then coming to a conclusion. Once I make a decision, I rarely change my mind because I’ve already done the leg work. The reason why this particular decision is so hard is because it is indicative of a battle between my emotional side and my rational/logical side. I’ve found that the hardest decisions happen when you have to decide between what you want and what you need. This is especially hard for me because I have always been someone who put responsibility and duty over convenience or feelings. I know that making one decisions will be really good for my mental health and general state of well being but it will cost me a huge chunk of my career goals and will mess up my entire five-year plan. Yeah, making a decision based on my emotional side would make me happy. But is life really about happiness? The truth is that I’ve spent so much time working towards my career and abandoning it would be a huge waste. It all comes down to how bad I want it and how much I’m willing to sacrifice to get it. Hard questions. But at the end of the day, I can’t make a huge decision based on my emotions because even they are subject to change. I may not want to make a decision but I NEED to. Plus, maybe I’ll be able to pinpoint a place where I’ll get the best of both worlds. Until then, I’ll just hang out in the valley of decision for a little while.

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Decisions, decisions

Decisions, decisions

While I would never say this to someone outside of my immediate family or close friends circle, the fact still remains that we probably all know people who have made stupid decisions. Telling someone that they’re stupid doesn’t tend to envoke feelings of happiness and appreciation. However the fact still remains that everyone has a right to be stupid. Some people just choose to abuse that right. The truth of the matter is that people are going to make their own decisions at the end of the day. We all have made stupid decisions before; but calling someone stupid and acknowledging stupid are two different things. You can beg, plead, and even bargain, but your influence can only go to a certain point. It’s a bad decision to take responsibility for the actions of others. It’s pointless. We all have to face the consequences of our decisions and bailing someone out of their bad choices can rob them of a valuable lesson. Some people have to learn by experience.