Category Archives: Advice

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The less you care

The less you care

When I saw this picture I automatically thought of being a slave to the opinions of other people. I can think of countless people who have made bad decisions that weren’t right for them because they were worried about what others might think. Growing up, I wanted to be a doctor. I was never grossed out by blood and guts and I wanted to make a tangible difference in the lives of others. However, after a very rude awakening in my very first college level biology class, I decided that I was better suited for the social sciences. But I digress. My point is that it’s stupid to let what other people think of you dictate major life decisions. At the end of the day you can’t escape from you. The most successful people in  life are those who don’t care what other people think. They take the road less traveled and they make no apologies for it. I heard someone say that in order to get what others won’t get, you have to do what others won’t do. And in order to do what you need to do, you have to realize that your actions won’t always make sense to other people. At the end of the day people will think and believe what they want to. Let them. 

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It’s not all right, but it’s ok

Many of us are waiting with baited breath for the day that our lives will be perfect. We eagerly anticipate an existence where no one annoys us and everything goes according to plan. Sometimes this thought is the only motivation we have. Trouble won’t last always is a philosophy we’ve eagerly adopted  a means of coping with our current situation. One of the things I’ve noticed is that there’s so much emphasis on being positive that sometimes it’s hard to be realistic. Good days and bad days happen to everyone. Growth is always uncomfortable and adversity builds strength. When someone first starts to work out with weights, they usually start with smaller weights and eventually work their way up to larger ones. Life isn’t like that. It involves ups and downs without a set routine. As I’m doing some self reflection, I’m realizing that I need to be ok with where I am in life because its a part of something bigger. I can’t expect everything to go my way all the time. Sometimes I’m just going to have to roll with the punches and take it because I know that it’s making me a stronger person regardless of how I feel. After all, it’s not all right, but it’s ok. 
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Accepting the inevitable

Accepting the inevitable

One of my Instagram friends posted this picture and it really made me think. My first thought was that I agreed with the saying but I didn’t know why. One of the thoughts that came to my head was the fact that people who are intelligent and/or have a big heart are often misunderstood. They are either disregarded or taken advantage of because of who they are. While there are positive aspects of being intelligent and having a deep heart, I think that there is a higher level of responsibility that comes along with these traits. It’s easy for people to put you on a pedestal or assume that you’ll do something because of your big heart. These same people are then some of the first to point fingers because you didn’t live up to their expectations. But that’s just my two cents… What do you think about the statement? Is it true?

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Retreating to advance

The idea of retreating to go forward has always seemed somewhat counterproductive to me. I like advancement and the feeling that I’m going towards something worthwhile. However, the more I live, the more I realize the importance of taking a step back. When you starting a task and it never comes out right sometimes you have to go back to the drawing board. In a stressful job sometimes you have to take a 20 minute break in order to come back in a better state of mind. Growing up, my grandfather always told me that spending more time planning than working was more efficient than the other way around. It’s important to take the time to re-evaluate your strategy instead of blindly pushing ahead. Take your time and just because you retreat doesn’t mean that it’s over. It’s just beginning.
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Know Your Audience

One thing that struck me today was the importance of knowing your audience. This proves true in so many situations. We can all think of a teacher or someone in a leadership position that pretty much sucked at their job because they did not know how to effectively communicate their ideas and thoughts to their audience. Personally, I hate being in these type of situations because I feel like I’m at the mercy of the speaker and that while they may have knowledge that is applicable to my life, they lack the ability to convey it to me and their audience. The same proves true with people who may not be in a leadership capacity. Even when talking to friends it’s important to think about how someone will take what you say. Some people need a straightforward approach while others respond better when the words are gently padded. It’s all about knowing the audience that you’re speaking to. No one would speak to a group of five year olds in the same way that they spoke to a group of people in their 30’s. Each group is different and the speaker’s approach should be tailored to the needs of the group. There’s no reason for a “one size fits all” approach when dealing with people. People don’t want to be talked down to. They want to listen to someone who can empathize with their current situation and communicate ideas in a way that helps them. Otherwise, they’ll just get bored and tune out.

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Birds of a Feather

Something that’s been in the forefront of my mind for the past few days is the importance of good friends. No one is an island despite their best efforts to be one. At some point in your life, you either needed someone for something (childhood) or you’ll need someone in the future. Guaranteed. There’s a saying that basically says that you can know about someone’s character by looking at their friends.  I think that a lot of pseudo-friendships are formed out of a sense of pity for the other person. Many times we’ll go out of our way and be inconvenienced for the other person not because they’re our friend, but because we feel sorry for them. These sympathy-friendships don’t really benefit anyone at the end of the day. That’s why I think it is so crucial to be able to differentiate between friends and associates. So many people mess themselves up because they expect friend-level actions and commitment from an associate. Give someone a chance to prove themselves before they become your new “bestie.” I think that one should have a  lot of associates but a few friends. Quality always is better than quantity because good friendships rarely happen overnight. A lot of times we hold on to friendships that should have ended years before because we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. However, in the end, we’re the ones that suffer.  Messed up people, mess up people.  Take some time to evaluate the people that you call friends in your life. Maybe some people need to be down-graded to associates.

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TIME!

One of the things that I’m realizing about myself more lately is the fact that one of my pet peeves are people that waste my time. This is done by either a lack of communication or a general disregard to the fact that I have other responsibilities and things to do. I absolutely hate wasting time because it is something that I can never get back. Every individual has the same 24 hours in a day and our success largely depends on how we spend our time. For me personally, I like the equation of time=money because I think that on some levels it does. And maybe I think that way because I’m in a profession where I charge people for my time. I’m not time management expert but I do believe in maximizing opportunities and staying productive. Refusing to respect my time is an indication that my time isn’t valuable enough to command the common decency of actually sticking to the previously outlined time guidelines. Perhaps this is why I get so annoyed and perturbed over lack of respect for my time. Firm boundaries are definitely essential.

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Decisions, decisions

Decisions, decisions

While I would never say this to someone outside of my immediate family or close friends circle, the fact still remains that we probably all know people who have made stupid decisions. Telling someone that they’re stupid doesn’t tend to envoke feelings of happiness and appreciation. However the fact still remains that everyone has a right to be stupid. Some people just choose to abuse that right. The truth of the matter is that people are going to make their own decisions at the end of the day. We all have made stupid decisions before; but calling someone stupid and acknowledging stupid are two different things. You can beg, plead, and even bargain, but your influence can only go to a certain point. It’s a bad decision to take responsibility for the actions of others. It’s pointless. We all have to face the consequences of our decisions and bailing someone out of their bad choices can rob them of a valuable lesson. Some people have to learn by experience.

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My Only Competition

So many times we compare ourselves to others and we see ourselves in competition with others. I’m a competitive person and I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. I want to win at all costs. I don’t like losing and I do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. While I am competitive, I know that my biggest competition is myself. I can’t compare myself to others because they aren’t me. At the end of the day, we all have to live with the decisions we make. I have to remember to not worry about what other people are doing and to focus on what I need to do. I’m competing against my doubts, memories of failures, and thoughts that I can’t accomplish my goals. Because at the end of the day, I have to compete with myself and win.  And I will.