Monthly Archives: December 2013

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Don’t even bother

Don't even bother

One of my IG friends posted this and I HAD to comment on it. I really think that this statement is relevant to so many people–including myself. I like having as full of a picture as possible of an individual and sometimes that really isn’t needed. I think that this quote is alluding to the fact that individuals who aren’t interested in you will also not be interested in letting you find out more about them. I’m not going to go as far as to say that hiding things is childish but there is a certain maturity needed in order to facilitate open communication and to keep a relationship healthy. It’s naive to assume that everyone possesses this maturity and a lack of disclosure and strategic omissions about significant things in their life can be a blaring sign that they don’t possess this maturity. And yes, I’m learning this lesson myself.

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Closed and Locked

I think that we all meet people at certain points in our lives who we want to get to know better. The best friendships and relationships are built on common interests. There are some friendships that fall together and others that take time and patience. However, it’s pretty near impossible to get to know someone who does not want to be known. You can beg, prod, plead, scheme, and ask, but a locked door is still a locked door. Some people need time in order to open up for a variety of reasons. However, it’s important to remember that many times these reasons are really good ones. Being vulnerable can be really uncomfortable and hard. I don’t think that it’s something that we should expect overnight. It takes time to build a relationship to the point where both people feel comfortable being themselves 100% of the time. And to be honest, I think that relationships like this are becoming more rare. As someone who is very picky about who my close friends are, I’m much more understanding of people who are totally closed off. It may be that they just want someone to take the time to get to know them instead of letting someone get close to them from day one. Trust takes time. We rarely meet people who we trust 100% after just meeting them. Get to know people as much as they want to be known and let them know that you would like to know them better. But also respect their wishes and don’t push them to open up. They will if they feel comfortable. Point blank.

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Winter Wonderland

Winter Wonderland

As you can see by the picture, the word “cold” is an understatement. I haven’t spent a lot of time outside lately due to these type of temperatures, but I can honestly say that a jacket, gloves, and hat are pretty much a necessity. I’m not complaining hardcore about the cold because it could be worse. And while I pretty much still refuse to turn on the heat in my apartment, I could be without shelter. I was born and raised in the South and whenever it snows things shut down. Out here, you are still expected to act as if nothing happened and show up for work and your appointments on time. When I was in college, school was delayed one full week because of snow. It was great. Dealing with climate changes and cold like this is one thing that I guess goes with the territory of living somewhere where it actually gets pretty cold. You have to do certain things in order to leave your house such as shovel snow and scrape off your car that take additional minutes when you are trying to get to an appointment. I even went the extra mile and bought snow tires. I would never classify myself as a cold weather person and I admit that I don’t particularly see the purpose in temperatures such as the one in the picture because quite frankly, I chose not to live in a place like Canada or Alaska for a good reason. However, this is a part of the winter season and I’m sure that some people are enjoying these type of temperatures. More power to them. I need an electric blanket.

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Second Guesses

I really need to make this a quick post because I’m playing hooky from this homework that I need to attend to. So here goes. I’m the type of person (and always have been) that second guesses myself. I’m great at making split second decisions. I can weigh the pros and cons appropriately and come to a logical conclusion. However, after the decision is made, I over-analyze it to death and then start to worry that I’ve missed some important piece of information that was critical to the decision that was just made. Very sad I know. Thankfully, I’ve usually taken enough time before the decision is made to know that it is the right one, but it still doesn’t eliminate my bad habit of second guessing the decision. I’m an analyzer by nature. I like cause and effect and knowing what will happen if I do something or make a certain choice. I’m also a risk taker, but these risks are very calculated and strategic based on prior knowledge of the situation. I like to know. While I’m not necessarily a worrier, (is that a word?) I hate to miss opportunities that could benefit me in the long run. I remember hearing someone say that sometimes it’s pointless to mull over something forever and that you just have to make a decision and live with the consequences. While I think that this is true, I also don’t want to miss something huge. I’m not someone who is indecisive though. When I need to make a decision I can make it almost instantly based on the information that I have and I’ll stick with it despite the fact that I second guess it. I want to get better at making decisions and not second guessing them because it really takes the time and energy that I could be using to do something more productive. There’s definitely always room for improvement.

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We Want Pre-Nup!

I was speaking with someone today and we were talking about the state of marriage in the world we live in. The truth is that prenuptial agreements have become more popular because of the rising divorce rates. While I’ve heard conflicting arguments about the rightness or wrongness of having one, I have to say that I believe that for certain couples a prenuptial agreement is a necessity. Think of it this way, we buy insurance for our houses and our cars. Most of us wear a seatbelt when we drive. While insurance and seat belts are something that we hope we never have to use, they certainly come in handy when your safety or security is threatened. In the event of an accident, the terms of the insurance policy that you paid for and agreed to come into play. You can save money and emotional distress because of the preparation that you’ve made for a rainy day. Prenuptial agreements are insurance for your marriage. While many may argue that getting one means that you plan on getting a divorce, I don’t agree. The truth is that people change and you never know what the future may bring. Getting a divorce is usually stressful, time-consuming, and exhausting. It’s also usually very emotionally charged because it signifies the deterioration of a once close relationship. Taking the time to create and sign a prenuptial agreement can be helpful in reducing stress and also may prevent you from (for lack of a better term) getting screwed over by someone who now probably does not have your best interest at heart. Pre-nups between people who are equally poor or broke may not be as important as pre-nups between individuals who have considerable assets and who may have waited until their careers were stable to get married. With more people getting married at older ages and later in their careers, I think that a pre-nup is a good idea. You don’t want to work hard, get married, go through a divorce and have to fight tooth and nail for what you worked hard for. You don’t plan to ever use your insurance but you sure are glad you have it when something unexpected occurs. Just because you’re prepared doesn’t mean that you’re expecting something bad to occur. I believe in hoping for the best while preparing for the worst–especially as it pertains to marriage and pre-nups. It never hurts to have some insurance.