Husbands and Fathers

This is an article I came across recently that was fairly thought provoking to me. As a therapist, I’ve learned how to roll with the choices people make even if I may not personally choose to make those exact choices myself. No judgement. However, one thing I have not personally grown mature enough to understand (and maybe I’ll never be) the decisions that some people make when choosing the person they make a baby with and not make a judgment on their mental capacity. That being said, working at a job where I interact with children who have been abused has convinced me without a doubt that there are some people who should never ever ever be parents. I am of the opinion that some men make great fathers and other men make great husbands and that sometimes these two things do not go together. Don’t get me wrong, I think that there are some characteristics that both fathers and husbands should have that overlap with each other. But I think that the roles of a husband and that of an engaged, aware, and mature parent are different. The article is a little on the humorous side but it does make you think about the difference between a spouse and a parent. While selfishness in a marriage can cause problems, a selfish parent can negatively impact the life of the next generation. Communication between adults is different than communication with children. It’s not healthy to be enmeshed with a child in the same manner you are with a spouse. Totally different ballgame. Raising a child successfully without messing them up for life requires a different set of skills than having a relationship with another mature adult.  It’s nice to have a great husband and it’s wonderful if a man is a good father, but it’s even better when a guy can be both at the same time.

“You and I were created for growth and development, and to reach our full potential. It is the object, the essence of our being. To possess an ambition to expand larger and more broadly each day, to push the horizon of ignorance a little further away, to become a bit richer in knowledge, a tad wiser, and more of what we were created to be–that is our worthwhile objective.” -Dennis Kimbro

This was something that really stuck out to me and I immediately highlighted it through my very 21st century Kindle book app. I think of all the people who have never fully reached their potential. Is it their fault? Were they never given the tools to succeed? Were they never interested in moving past the monotony of daily life into their life calling? Every case is different just like every person. Having the ambition to push further each day and to learn something new that can be applied to one’s life is a habit that will bring success in multiple areas of our lives. It’s so easy to get caught up in the stresses of today that we forget to prepare for tomorrow. Maybe that’s why this quote challenges us to make obtaining knowledge and wisdom a priority while also assuring these actions have their own rewards. 

“You and I were…