Making Peace

I have to say that this previous week has been pretty stressful as it’s been a huge change in the daily routine that I have gotten used to. I’m normally someone who can adapt quickly but the absence of afternoon naps was really difficult. I found it hard to catch up on sleep and as a result I did not feel rested. I encountered some difficult news and also had an realization that was difficult to process. Disappointment is a part of life and sometimes it just can’t be anticipated. Things change unexpectedly without warning and we have to roll with the punches. I’m finding that experiencing multiple disappointments does not make each one any easier to handle. There is always the process of finding a way to make peace with the new normal or the new circumstance. You have results or an ending that you did not anticipate and you have to create a different plan because things have changed. It’s rough because in some ways you have to mourn the ending that you wanted but never received while recognizing the need to change priorities and focus. I think that there’s also a certain level of annoyance and frustration that accompanies disappointment because of the sheer inconvenience of having to make an unplanned adjustment. However, it’s one of those things that are unavoidable. How we respond to these disappointments says a lot about our resiliency and ability to adapt. But it’s a tough place to be in.

Mentally Strong People

I ran into this article and found the title eye catching. You can read the article here. The term “mentally strong people” isn’t something that I’ve heard commonly used in any circles. The article had some great points and I liked number two the best, “They don’t give away their power.” Power is something that a lot of people have but never realize it or use it. Thus, they give their power away without knowing it. There’s books you can read about it (i.e. 48 Laws of Power). One way that I’ve seen people give up their power is by losing their cool in a situation that they don’t like. Stressful situations are never enjoyable but they get worse when people totally flip out over something that they can’t change in the moment. It’s at that point that you’ve lost control and it’s in those situations that people sometimes have to intervene and make choices for you. Coming from a background in mental health, that choice often meant putting someone in the hospital involuntarily. Needless to say, the article has some great points and I think that they all are true. But by the same token, it’s ok to not be mentally strong all the time and to seek assistance when you need it. Ignoring something doesn’t mean it goes away. Even if you are “mentally strong.”

Anger-ology

As I’ve mentioned before, one thing I’m working on in myself is being more aware of my emotions. This weekend found me rather angry over situations that had occurred in the past week. As a therapist, I’ve often noticed that feelings of anger are often products of other emotions. Anger is a emotion¬† used sometimes when we have a hard time verbalizing our primary emotions. I’ve noticed with my couples that feelings of hurt often disguise themselves as anger. It’s easy to blame the other person or to say or do something out of anger instead of saying that you have been hurt. But anger can also be motivation to get out of your current situation. I’m working on dealing with anger in a way that is both healthy and productive and I’ve found that the gym can be an excellent place for that. Next time you feel some angry, take the time to dig deeper and identify two underlying emotions that might be causing it. You’ll raise your self-awareness and learn more about your thought processes.¬†