I feel like I’ve been exposed to multiple speakers and actual people who have been talking about being successful and being a leader lately. This has happened multiple times per week and has come from a variety of different sources. One thing that has really hit me these past few weeks is the fact that excellence doesn’t happen by accident. Greatness is a product of intentional decisions made over a span of time. I’ve heard people say that who you really are is determined by the sum total of your day to day decisions. The truth is that while we all may not be in the same place, we all have the same 24 hours to be successful. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t respect my time. The reason for this is because time=opportunity and I could be doing something more worthwhile than waiting on people. That being said, I think that it’s so easy to become trapped in the familiar. Change is hard and making the changes to become an exceptional and successful individual is even harder. If it was easy, more people would do it. But I want to challenge you (as I’m challenging myself). To look for opportunities around you and to pick something to do each day that is directly relevant to where you want to be in life long-term. Carpe diem!
Author Archives
Graduation
Tis the season of graduations. They mark the end of one journey and the beginning of another. I recently attended a college graduation and it brought back so many memories of my own graduation. Education can be such a funny thing. In college you take classes that you will most likely never use again. You take notes and then basically regurgitate the information back to the teacher to prove that you’ve learned it. Then at the end of this several year ordeal, you graduate–hopefully. Graduation can be a very important milestone but at the end of the day, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be successful because you’ve finished your degree. When you graduate, you have finished your course of study. You have fulfilled all the necessary requirements and you are ready (hopefully) to transition into the next part of your life. However, the act of graduation does not change your mindset. While you may have graduated, your perspective may be unchanged. Sometimes we can’t keep certain people in our lives because in a sense we’ve “graduated” from them. They’ve served their purpose but they continue to be a representation of the “pre-graduation” mindset. I heard someone say today that your life with resemble with those whom you assemble and I think that that is very true. Everybody can’t be your best friend. The road to success is not always paved. Take some time to honestly think about the people in your life who you’ve outgrown. Maybe some changes are in order.
Watch what you say
I’m on the other side of having my third
18 plus hour day and I’m exhausted. One thing I was reminded of today was the fact that our words are powerful. Many times we say things without thinking it through and contemplating the effect that these words have on ourselves and others. While I don’t consider myself a pessimist, I do consider myself as a realist. I like concrete direction and logic instead of abstract ideas. I heard today that when you hear something your mind automatically goes to the negative and it stays there for at least 20 seconds until you either confront it with a good thought or allow yourself to dwell on the negativity. The funny thing was that at the very moment I caught myself in a negative cycle. I thought about turning it into a positive thought but remembered that that in this particular situation, the negative thought was much more realistic and logical than actually replacing it with a positive. I say all this to say that it’s a good thing–at least most of the time to be positive. But it’s also important to not let your positivity lose sight of reality in the present. Words have power and you can have good results by speaking positive things and also thinking optimistically. The ultimate choice is up to you.
Marriage Maturity
One thing that has really stuck out to me this week is the fact that having a good marriage requires a certain amount of maturity. It’s easy to stay when everything is going well but it’s harder to stay when the inevitable bumps in the road come. I’ve also met a lot of people recently who have been with someone for a long period of time but do not want to make the commitment of marriage. But once you’re married and the thrill is gone, it’s easy to go. Real life hits and suddenly the other person is no longer a priority. This is really when the rubber hits the road. Leaving because of something insignificant is a sign of immaturity in my opinion. Love can be a feeling but I think that in a marriage, love has to be an actual CHOICE. Feelings and emotions come and go but commitment is long term.
Rejection thoughts
Rejection sucks. Point blank. Having experienced a fairly significant portion of it in several aspects of my life this week, I’m reminded once again why I hate it so much. It’s a hard reminder that you can’t control everything in your life and that things just happen. It’s even worse when feelings get involved and you’ve been involved in multiple rejections. Rejection can make you more self reflective but you can also experience frustration, anger, and sadness as a result of it. I think that we feel rejection more acutely when we have been optimistic in hoping the situation would turn out the way we wanted it to. But at the end of the day, life goes on regardless. It’s crazy to live life through the lens of what should have or could have happened. Rejection is an opportunity for one to grow stronger in the face of adversity and I’m taking that opportunity.
It’s all talk
We all know people with good intentions. They make elaborate plans and make promises that sound good. However they NEVER. FOLLOW. THROUGH. Back in the day, someone’s word meant something. When they said it, you could count on it. You knew that they would follow through and do what they said. Their actions would match their words. In this day and age, following through is a nice concept but rarely ever happens. People make promises all the time that are broken quicker than they were made. Expectations have lowered as well. Learn to recognize the people around you who never follow through and don’t put high expectations on them. Surround yourself with people whose actions match their words. You’ll avoid a lot of frustration and disappointment.
Re-evaluation
So many times it’s easy to get caught up in the mundane. We do things out of habit without taking the time to think about what we really want in life. Or maybe we haven’t taken the time to even think about what we want. Life is what happens when you least expect it. However, many times we spend the majority of our time in reaction and survival mode instead of planning mode. But what if we were able to take a time out from life? What if the reason why we never make 5 or 10 year plans is because we don’t take the time to reflect on what we want to accomplish in life and what is really important? Why not take some time this week to re-evaluate where you are in life? You might discover something new.
Fear vs. Courage
I read something not too long ago that said fear is a reaction but courage is a decision. I agree with this statement because I think that fear can sometimes be an emotion we can’t avoid. I daresay that every human being at some point in his or her life has experienced some genuine fear. Fear can also be a state of mind. We all know someone who operates under the umbrella of “what if?” They put their life on pause and continually worry about what needs to be done and what could possible happen to derail their plans. Courage on the other hand, takes a lot of guts. I don’t think that genuine courage comes easy. I think that it comes with time and with some experience. Courage to go against the norm and to pursue something different is rare these days. I think that it’s so easy to be swept away into the “group think” mentality and to forget how important it is to have courage and to try something new. Take the time to do something courageous that you’ve never done before. Get in the habit of facing your fears–not because it’s fun, but because it will help you to grow as a person.
Don’t be a Tryer
I saw this picture posted on Facebook and it made me think. First of all, is “tryer” really a word? I can already see some children’s show character singing to children “be a tryer.” But are tryers really winners? Obviously you have to try in order to win or you’ll lose by default. But I don’t think that the action of trying automatically makes you a winner. I heard someone say that people are not remembered for what they avoided, but for what they’ve overcome. Being a tryer puts you ahead of the non-tryers but it doesn’t guarantee success. Nobody remembers who came in 6th, they remember who won. Being a tryer is a good thing, but you can’t get caught up in the fact that you tried. Make greatness a goal because tryers aren’t winners, but winners are tryers.
Something vs. Someone
There’s a huge difference between wanting something and someone. I think that a lot of times it’s easy to group both of these things in the same category. It’s our human nature to want what we don’t currently have. It’s easy, convenient, and can be a reflection of who we truly are inside. However, wanting an inanimate or a tangible object–even to accomplish a certain goal is very different from wanting a person. When you want something, you can work towards it. You can take the necessary steps needed to acquire what you want. Not the same with a person. When you’re dealing with a person, you are dealing not only with them but their background, values, and even their environment. Despite all your best efforts, you can’t make anyone “belong” to you. You can’t scheme around that. If you don’t meet their definition of attractiveness/beauty, you’re pretty much attempting to row upstream without a paddle. It’s easier to plan to get something and to execute the plan than to execute the same plan with a person. There’s too many variables out of your control when you’re dealing with another person. The odds are rarely ever in your favor.
Alisha's Angle 