Small Stuff

In the past few weeks, I’ve had conversations with women in which they talk about a man’s good traits and bad traits but then say that something that he does or believes in is an automatic deal breaker for them and thus, he is no longer under consideration for anything other than a distant friend. I believe in standards. I have them and for the most part, I stick to them. But the common theme that has been the deal breaker in conversations with numerous women is that the man does not have a college degree or above. The reasons given for this blatant disregard for anyone who doesn’t meet this standard is that there will be nothing to talk about if the man isn’t educated. In today’s society, so much weight is placed on where you went to school, what your grades were, what your degree was in, if you finished college. This has happened to the extent that there are people who honestly think that going to college is an indication of intelligence. Maybe it’s the homeschooler in me, but I honestly think that having an education is not an indication of intelligence at all. At all. These days you don’t even have to be smart to make good grades. I’m definitely a witness to that. You just have to know the system and how to find the right resources to get the information that you need. While I don’t necessarily consider myself “educated,” I probably somewhat fit the criteria for that particular term. I can honestly say that the many of the smartest and most intelligent people I know do not have college degrees. People who think outside the box tend to make more money and are more successful than those who don’t. Education is a box. My point in saying all this is that you miss out on a lot when you immediately disregard someone because they don’t meet a particular educational requirement. College is honestly not for everyone and there are plenty of people who have made millions without stepping foot inside a college classroom. It’s about the desire to learn and the ability to find the resources you need to get where you want to go. These days, almost everything you would get in a college classroom is accessible on some level through the internet at a much lower price. There are so many better things you can use to screen potential significant others but I don’t think that highest education level should be one of them.

My Story of Overestimation

Growing up, I always felt that people were overestimating me. I honestly think that as long as homeschooling has been popular, there has been the opinion or perspective that homeschoolers are smarter than their traditionally educated counterparts. Now, whether or not this is true, I don’t know. And I don’t care. When I was little, people would immediately gush over me and my siblings and talk about how smart we must be because we were homeschooled. I grew up knowing that people expected me to succeed in life and become something because I was homeschooled. I didn’t particularly care for it because I found it annoying. Was I smart because I was homeschooled or was I homeschooled because I was smart? For the most part, I did get a chance to live up to the “smart” expectations–at least by society’s measurements. I was a senior in high school at age 15 and had the luxury of finishing high school a month after my 17th birthday and taking a year off to chill out before I went to college. In more recent years, I’ve gotten the chance to separate myself from the “kid genius” expectations and quietly do what I need to do. In fact, the tables have turned to the point where I’m often underestimated. It’s mildly annoying to have people around me assume that I’m still in college or that I don’t have anything going for me. Yet, I’d rather be underestimated than over estimated. Being underestimated can put you in a spot where you are your biggest competition. You have less time to invest in pleasing others or meeting their standards because they don’t expect you to do anything worthwhile. I’m not talking about constantly downplaying your accomplishments, but also not going out your way to be flashy and dramatic about all your future plans. If I ever become “big” or super successful I want it to be unexpected. Being successful doesn’t have to be advertised, it can be discreet. Underestimation isn’t a bad thing–it can even work for you.

Excellence is never an accident

I feel like I’ve been exposed to multiple speakers and actual people who have been talking about being successful and being a leader lately. This has happened multiple times per week and has come from a variety of different sources. One thing that has really hit me these past few weeks is the fact that excellence doesn’t happen by accident. Greatness is a product of intentional decisions made over a span of time. I’ve heard people say that who you really are is determined by the sum total of your day to day decisions. The truth is that while we all may not be in the same place, we all have the same 24 hours to be successful. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t respect my time. The reason for this is because time=opportunity and I could be doing something more worthwhile than waiting on people. That being said, I think that it’s so easy to become trapped in the familiar. Change is hard and making the changes to become an exceptional and successful individual is even harder. If it was easy, more people would do it. But I want to challenge you (as I’m challenging myself). To look for opportunities around you and to pick something to do each day that is directly relevant to where you want to be in life long-term. Carpe diem!