Tag Archives: women

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Birds of a Feather

Something that’s been in the forefront of my mind for the past few days is the importance of good friends. No one is an island despite their best efforts to be one. At some point in your life, you either needed someone for something (childhood) or you’ll need someone in the future. Guaranteed. There’s a saying that basically says that you can know about someone’s character by looking at their friends.  I think that a lot of pseudo-friendships are formed out of a sense of pity for the other person. Many times we’ll go out of our way and be inconvenienced for the other person not because they’re our friend, but because we feel sorry for them. These sympathy-friendships don’t really benefit anyone at the end of the day. That’s why I think it is so crucial to be able to differentiate between friends and associates. So many people mess themselves up because they expect friend-level actions and commitment from an associate. Give someone a chance to prove themselves before they become your new “bestie.” I think that one should have a  lot of associates but a few friends. Quality always is better than quantity because good friendships rarely happen overnight. A lot of times we hold on to friendships that should have ended years before because we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. However, in the end, we’re the ones that suffer.  Messed up people, mess up people.  Take some time to evaluate the people that you call friends in your life. Maybe some people need to be down-graded to associates.

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Decisions, decisions

Decisions, decisions

While I would never say this to someone outside of my immediate family or close friends circle, the fact still remains that we probably all know people who have made stupid decisions. Telling someone that they’re stupid doesn’t tend to envoke feelings of happiness and appreciation. However the fact still remains that everyone has a right to be stupid. Some people just choose to abuse that right. The truth of the matter is that people are going to make their own decisions at the end of the day. We all have made stupid decisions before; but calling someone stupid and acknowledging stupid are two different things. You can beg, plead, and even bargain, but your influence can only go to a certain point. It’s a bad decision to take responsibility for the actions of others. It’s pointless. We all have to face the consequences of our decisions and bailing someone out of their bad choices can rob them of a valuable lesson. Some people have to learn by experience.

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My Only Competition

So many times we compare ourselves to others and we see ourselves in competition with others. I’m a competitive person and I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. I want to win at all costs. I don’t like losing and I do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. While I am competitive, I know that my biggest competition is myself. I can’t compare myself to others because they aren’t me. At the end of the day, we all have to live with the decisions we make. I have to remember to not worry about what other people are doing and to focus on what I need to do. I’m competing against my doubts, memories of failures, and thoughts that I can’t accomplish my goals. Because at the end of the day, I have to compete with myself and win.  And I will.
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Excellence is never an accident

I feel like I’ve been exposed to multiple speakers and actual people who have been talking about being successful and being a leader lately. This has happened multiple times per week and has come from a variety of different sources. One thing that has really hit me these past few weeks is the fact that excellence doesn’t happen by accident. Greatness is a product of intentional decisions made over a span of time. I’ve heard people say that who you really are is determined by the sum total of your day to day decisions. The truth is that while we all may not be in the same place, we all have the same 24 hours to be successful. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t respect my time. The reason for this is because time=opportunity and I could be doing something more worthwhile than waiting on people. That being said, I think that it’s so easy to become trapped in the familiar. Change is hard and making the changes to become an exceptional and successful individual is even harder. If it was easy, more people would do it. But I want to challenge you (as I’m challenging myself). To look for opportunities around you and to pick something to do each day that is directly relevant to where you want to be in life long-term. Carpe diem!

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Graduation

Tis the season of graduations. They mark the end of one journey and the beginning of another. I recently attended a college graduation and it brought back so many memories of my own graduation. Education can be such a funny thing. In college you take classes that you will most likely never use again. You take notes and then basically regurgitate the information back to the teacher to prove that you’ve learned it. Then at the end of this several year ordeal, you graduate–hopefully. Graduation can be a very important milestone but at the end of the day, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be successful because you’ve finished your degree. When you graduate, you have finished your course of study. You have fulfilled all the necessary requirements and you are ready (hopefully) to transition into the next part of your life. However, the act of graduation does not change your mindset. While you may have graduated, your perspective may be unchanged. Sometimes we can’t keep certain people in our lives because in a sense we’ve “graduated” from them. They’ve served their purpose but they continue to be a representation of the “pre-graduation” mindset. I heard someone say today that your life with resemble with those whom you assemble and I think that that is very true. Everybody can’t be your best friend. The road to success is not always paved. Take some time to honestly think about the people in your life who you’ve outgrown. Maybe some changes are in order.

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Watch what you say

I’m on the other side of having my third   
18 plus hour day and I’m exhausted. One thing I was reminded of today was the fact that our words are powerful. Many times we say things without thinking it through and contemplating the effect that these words have on ourselves and others. While I don’t consider myself a pessimist, I do consider myself as a realist. I like concrete direction and logic instead of abstract ideas. I heard today that when you hear something your mind automatically goes to the negative and it stays there for at least 20 seconds until you either confront it with a good thought or allow yourself to dwell on the negativity. The funny thing was that at the very moment I caught myself in a negative cycle. I thought about turning it into a positive thought but remembered that that in this particular situation, the negative thought was much more realistic and logical than actually replacing it with a positive. I say all this to say that it’s a good thing–at least most of the time to be positive. But it’s also important to not let your positivity lose sight of reality in the present. Words have power and you can have good results by speaking positive things and also thinking optimistically.  The ultimate choice is up to you. 
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Marriage Maturity

One thing that has really stuck out to me this week is the fact that having a good marriage requires a certain amount of maturity. It’s easy to stay when everything is going well but it’s harder to stay when the inevitable bumps in the road come. I’ve also met a lot of people recently who have been with someone for a long period of time but do not want to make the commitment of marriage. But once you’re married and the thrill is gone, it’s easy to go. Real life hits and suddenly the other person is no longer a priority. This is really when the rubber hits the road. Leaving because of something insignificant is a sign of immaturity in my opinion. Love can be a feeling but I think that in a marriage, love has to be an actual CHOICE.  Feelings and emotions come and go but commitment is long term.

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Rejection thoughts

Rejection sucks. Point blank. Having experienced a fairly significant portion of it in several aspects of my life this week, I’m reminded once again why I hate it so much. It’s a hard reminder that you can’t control everything in your life and that things just happen. It’s even worse when feelings get involved and you’ve been involved in multiple rejections. Rejection can make you more self reflective but you can also experience frustration, anger, and sadness as a result of it. I think that we feel rejection more acutely when we have been optimistic in hoping the situation would turn out the way we wanted it to. But at the end of the day, life goes on regardless. It’s crazy to live life through the lens of what should have  or could have happened. Rejection is an opportunity for one to grow stronger in the face of adversity and I’m taking that opportunity. 
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It’s all talk

We all know people with good intentions. They make elaborate plans and make promises that sound good. However they NEVER. FOLLOW. THROUGH. Back in the day, someone’s word meant something. When they said it, you could count on it. You knew that they would follow through and do what they said. Their actions would match their words. In this day and age, following through is a nice concept but rarely ever happens. People make promises all the time that are broken quicker than they were made. Expectations have lowered as well. Learn to recognize the people around you who never follow through and don’t put high expectations on them. Surround yourself with people whose actions match their words. You’ll avoid a lot of frustration and disappointment.