Tag Archives: motivation

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Oh! The Irony!

Lately I’ve had some of THE absolute most ironic moments of my adult life. They come when I least expect it and I’m usually super surprised and taken aback. One of the reasons why I love ironic moments because it’s an opportunity to laugh instead of get upset at something that is out of my control. Being a control freak, it’s very hard for me to accept that occasionally things happen that I have not planned and that I do not have control over. Irony also gives me the opportunity to re-evaluate my thoughts toward the specific event or situation. It challenges my thought patterns and reminds me that sometimes I take myself way too seriously. I’ve found that it’s a lot easier to laugh at something than to cry tears of disappointment because once again, something did not go my way. What are the odds of me writing the vaguest comment directed toward a certain situation on a social media site and the person in the situation I’m commenting on actually responds– not knowing that the status was actually indirectly related to them. But the truth of the matter is that I can’t stop ironic situations from occurring. I can only make the decision to laugh about it. Life’s too short to be perpetually sad and upset.

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My Only Competition

So many times we compare ourselves to others and we see ourselves in competition with others. I’m a competitive person and I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. I want to win at all costs. I don’t like losing and I do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. While I am competitive, I know that my biggest competition is myself. I can’t compare myself to others because they aren’t me. At the end of the day, we all have to live with the decisions we make. I have to remember to not worry about what other people are doing and to focus on what I need to do. I’m competing against my doubts, memories of failures, and thoughts that I can’t accomplish my goals. Because at the end of the day, I have to compete with myself and win.  And I will.
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Excellence is never an accident

I feel like I’ve been exposed to multiple speakers and actual people who have been talking about being successful and being a leader lately. This has happened multiple times per week and has come from a variety of different sources. One thing that has really hit me these past few weeks is the fact that excellence doesn’t happen by accident. Greatness is a product of intentional decisions made over a span of time. I’ve heard people say that who you really are is determined by the sum total of your day to day decisions. The truth is that while we all may not be in the same place, we all have the same 24 hours to be successful. One of my pet peeves is when people don’t respect my time. The reason for this is because time=opportunity and I could be doing something more worthwhile than waiting on people. That being said, I think that it’s so easy to become trapped in the familiar. Change is hard and making the changes to become an exceptional and successful individual is even harder. If it was easy, more people would do it. But I want to challenge you (as I’m challenging myself). To look for opportunities around you and to pick something to do each day that is directly relevant to where you want to be in life long-term. Carpe diem!

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Graduation

Tis the season of graduations. They mark the end of one journey and the beginning of another. I recently attended a college graduation and it brought back so many memories of my own graduation. Education can be such a funny thing. In college you take classes that you will most likely never use again. You take notes and then basically regurgitate the information back to the teacher to prove that you’ve learned it. Then at the end of this several year ordeal, you graduate–hopefully. Graduation can be a very important milestone but at the end of the day, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be successful because you’ve finished your degree. When you graduate, you have finished your course of study. You have fulfilled all the necessary requirements and you are ready (hopefully) to transition into the next part of your life. However, the act of graduation does not change your mindset. While you may have graduated, your perspective may be unchanged. Sometimes we can’t keep certain people in our lives because in a sense we’ve “graduated” from them. They’ve served their purpose but they continue to be a representation of the “pre-graduation” mindset. I heard someone say today that your life with resemble with those whom you assemble and I think that that is very true. Everybody can’t be your best friend. The road to success is not always paved. Take some time to honestly think about the people in your life who you’ve outgrown. Maybe some changes are in order.

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Watch what you say

I’m on the other side of having my third   
18 plus hour day and I’m exhausted. One thing I was reminded of today was the fact that our words are powerful. Many times we say things without thinking it through and contemplating the effect that these words have on ourselves and others. While I don’t consider myself a pessimist, I do consider myself as a realist. I like concrete direction and logic instead of abstract ideas. I heard today that when you hear something your mind automatically goes to the negative and it stays there for at least 20 seconds until you either confront it with a good thought or allow yourself to dwell on the negativity. The funny thing was that at the very moment I caught myself in a negative cycle. I thought about turning it into a positive thought but remembered that that in this particular situation, the negative thought was much more realistic and logical than actually replacing it with a positive. I say all this to say that it’s a good thing–at least most of the time to be positive. But it’s also important to not let your positivity lose sight of reality in the present. Words have power and you can have good results by speaking positive things and also thinking optimistically.  The ultimate choice is up to you. 
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It’s all talk

We all know people with good intentions. They make elaborate plans and make promises that sound good. However they NEVER. FOLLOW. THROUGH. Back in the day, someone’s word meant something. When they said it, you could count on it. You knew that they would follow through and do what they said. Their actions would match their words. In this day and age, following through is a nice concept but rarely ever happens. People make promises all the time that are broken quicker than they were made. Expectations have lowered as well. Learn to recognize the people around you who never follow through and don’t put high expectations on them. Surround yourself with people whose actions match their words. You’ll avoid a lot of frustration and disappointment.

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Re-evaluation

So many times it’s easy to get caught up in the mundane. We do things out of habit without taking the time to think about what we really want in life. Or maybe we haven’t taken the time to even think about what we want. Life is what happens when you least expect it. However, many times we spend the majority of our time in reaction and survival mode instead of planning mode. But what if we were able to take a time out from life? What if the reason why we never make 5 or 10 year plans is because we don’t take the time to reflect on what we want to accomplish in life and what is really important? Why not take some time this week to re-evaluate where you are in life? You might discover something new. 
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Don’t be a Tryer

Don't be a Tryer

I saw this picture posted on Facebook and it made me think. First of all, is “tryer” really a word? I can already see some children’s show character singing to children “be a tryer.” But are tryers really winners? Obviously you have to try in order to win or you’ll lose by default. But I don’t think that the action of trying automatically makes you a winner. I heard someone say that people are not remembered for what they avoided, but for what they’ve overcome. Being a tryer puts you ahead of the non-tryers but it doesn’t guarantee success. Nobody remembers who came in 6th, they remember who won. Being a tryer is a good thing, but you can’t get caught up in the fact that you tried. Make greatness a goal because tryers aren’t winners, but winners are tryers. 

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The Beauty of Self-Regulation

I’m always a little wary of any term that starts with the word “self” and then has a dash. I guess you can blame it on the fact that I’m a systemic thinker. Every person is influenced in some way by their environment, their family, and their friends. However, self-regulation is a term that I’ve come to like because of my experiences in my environment. Self-regulation is a skill that many people don’t have. We’ve all seen people when they are getting escalated or extremely angry and all of a sudden they blow their top and do or say something extremely stupid. I’m willing to bet that some of these people were the kids who had temper tantrums until their parents got tired of it and gave into their demands. Not cool. I think of self regulation as the ability to calm down and take a step back from the situation because you know that it’s getting out of hand. Unfortunately, self-regulation also requires self-awareness–which also is extremely rare. I see this all the time in the couples I work with. They start arguing over something completely mundane and before you know it, both just start slinging mud at each other. Emotions are high and each person feels the need to defend him or herself by “proving” that the other person’s actions were way worse. The past gets brought up and before you know it, both people are so dis-regulated they don’t want to have anything to do with each other. But what if this cycle didn’t have to happen? Most people can identify when they’re irritated or annoyed by something and many times they know exactly what that “something” is. I’m not an advocate of avoiding issues, but sometimes taking a break from an argument and then coming back to it when you’re calm and are thinking clearly can save a LOT of unnecessary stuff. When you’re mad, chances are that you aren’t thinking straight. You’re not calm or even able to hear the other person’s point of view. Taking a few minutes or hours to remove yourself from the situation or even to take 15 deep breaths can help you to think more clearly and to stick to the topic at hand instead of using it as an opportunity to bring up anything and everything from the past in order to get it off your chest. You’ll be able to choose your words more deliberately without the fuel of extreme anger. Definitely easier said than done but still worth a try.