I’ve heard a saying that said you should never make a major decision when you’re very sad or very happy. While this sometimes can’t be avoided, I can’t help but think that there is some truth to the words of this picture. How many times have rash decisions been made in the heat of a moment that changed someone’s life. In lieu of the events and protests that have happened in the last few months, maybe it would be a good start to plan before pursuing and to work toward systemic change by engaging and creating dialogue between affected parties.
This post is somewhat of a continuation to a previous one. I discussed a no contact order and when it is usually appropriate as a choice. Lately I’ve had to put myself on one and it has not been fun. However, the purpose of a no contact order is not for convenience. It’s a choice that’s made in order to get some clarity or even some space from another person. We all hate getting mixed messages and sometimes interacting with people on a daily basis can increase the likelihood of misunderstanding. I’m not advocating for avoidance and the great thing about a no contact order that I’m learning is that while I make my own terms I also have to stick to them. I’ve noticed that my no contact order has increased my awareness of what’s going on around me. This has been a good thing but it has also been challenging because I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of things I intentionally ignore and now I’m picking up on things I would normally not notice or ignore. It’s somewhat similar to being hyper vigilant. In my situation, the no contact order wasn’t something that I would normally choose for myself but the situation absolutely demands a more radical reaction and plan. That means that emotions and feelings have be pushed aside for the purpose of achieving some clarity and enough space to make a decision that is not purely emotional. Instead of operating on a hunch or a feeling, facts and logic also have to be considered and my no contact order is making that possible. Despite the fact that it’s not fun and doesn’t have an end date, it’s helping me to separate emotions from facts and make better informed decisions. Not an easy process but maybe (hopefully) worth it.