Tag Archives: affection

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Got to get my heart back

As I was minding my business today I thought about this song. While it’s a couple of years old, it’s still one of my favorite songs. I can’t even really say that I’m a huge Keyshia Cole fan but I can appreciate the depth of the emotion in this song. The song speaks about wanting to get back to the way things used to be before emotions got involved. Keyshia sings about giving 110%  and even loving the other person more than herself saying that she would have done anything for them. Yet, it’s such a reminder that the affection and attention from one person does not make up a true relationship. There has to be some sort of reciprocity. Keyshia sings about this as she says that she just wants to get her heart back. After giving so much and loving so deeply, the realization that you aren’t loved in that same manner can be extremely sad. The song is definitely evidence of that and even the instrumental part alludes to a haunting memory that builds on the initial four notes you hear in the first bar. Interesting how Keyshia sings about getting her heart back, implying that it’s in the position of another. However, Keyshia never sings about taking the action to get her heart back, she just says that she has to do it.  Another things that stands out to me about the lyrics of the song is that Keyshia spends the entire time talking about how she wants to get back to the way that it used to be instead of expressing her desire to move on into her future. She wants to go back in the past before she even met the person. Thus saying that she really wishes that she never had the experience of loving that hard and getting nothing in return.

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Meaningless Affection

I consider myself an undercover touchy feely person. I say undercover because in no way, shape, or form does it appear that way to many people that know me. I’m the person who would much rather sit by myself than be commanded  to “turn to my neighbor” or “give my neighbor a hug.” Quite frankly, I find it awkward and extremely annoying. This often happens in church-like settings where apparently the leader of some sort is trying to break the ice and apparently build lifelong bonds between people in the audience. Call me mean, but that’s not my intention. I don’t mind meeting new people and I have a nosy personality that seeks to find out what makes someone tick. I like to hear life stories and get advice and direction from people with a different perspective. However, I’m not down (and may not ever be) with hugging perfect strangers and telling them that I love them because I was told to do so. I remember reading somewhere that giving or receiving hugs can help the body and improve mental health. While I’m not agreeing or disagreeing with this, in my case hugs with perfect strangers do not count towards my “daily hug quota.” I don’t usually even know the person’s name. But refusing a hug creates one of the most awkward moments–especially if you don’t know the person. I honestly think that a hug in this type of situation is a type of meaningless affection. It means nothing. Conveys nothing. Accomplishes nothing. Now I know that other people would disagree with me and I’m sure that there are plenty of people who hug perfect strangers because there is a legitimate purpose. But in this situation, hugging someone because you were told to do so does not count as a legitimate reason with an actual purpose. Humans can be so trained to do whatever someone tells them to do because they have some sort of title. Makes no sense to me. Will I ever sit next to someone and inform them that I don’t do hugs from strangers? Probably not. But will I continue to cringe in my head whenever I hear a “turn to your neighbor?” Yup. What can I say? I just feel more comfortable hugging people I actually know.