To have or not to have

I ran into an interesting article the other day about having children. You can read it here. The article specifically addresses some of the reasons why people decide not to have children. I don’t think there are a lot of people who set out to be bad parents but I can understand why it’s a fear. We all know the horror stories of crimes committed by individuals and the focus automatically goes to the parents as people begin to wonder what bad parenting skills created someone who could do “such a thing.” There also aren’t a lot of people who would argue that the world needs more people in it and I think a lot of millennials have taken on the perspective that they don’t want to add to the already existing problem. All in all, I think the article was pretty thought provoking and it made me wonder about the long term ramifications for society.

To have or not to have

I’ve been rather busy these past few days. However, one of the things that I’ve noticed that has come up in a lot of conversations is the challenge of having children and raising them in the world we live in today. Usually in the course of these conversations I get asked how many children that I’d like to have. I don’t necessarily have a set answer because I usually tailor it to the personality of the person who is asking me. Being in the field that I’m in and working in the place that I work, I have seen a wide spectrum of parenting skills. Some great and others that make you want to take the child home with you. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that parenting is hard work. Being a good parent is even harder. Firstly, having a child requires a lot of physical pain. And then from that point on, your life is wracked by highs and lows directly related to the creature you brought into the world. I firmly believe that some people should not and don’t deserve to be parents. They don’t have the skills needed to raise a child.  It always is nice to see parents that have good relationships with their children because it’s rare. I recently met a lady who was in her 70’s and she explained to me that she never got married or had kids because it would not have worked for her. As a result, she doesn’t have anyone to take care of her and check on her as most of her friends are her age. This is a great example of how not having kids can mess up the cycle of life and leave you alone. However, having children and being estranged from them has pretty much the same effect.That being said, being a good parent requires a large amount of self-control and patience. And while I think that I might possibly be able to raise a child without inflicting lasting psychological trauma, it’s still a responsibility I’m not crazy about acquiring. But you know what they say. Never say never.