I have a Million Bookmarks

Ok, well maybe it’s not quite a million but it’s a lot. You catch my drift. You see, I’m the kind of person who loves to save interesting articles, videos, and resources to revisit later. But there’s a catch — I almost never seem to remember to actually go back and check them out! It’s like an episode of Hoarders when the hoarder is trying to justify keeping something because they know they’ll use it at “some point.” However, upon assessing the situation, it appears that the item they want to hold on to has no use whatsoever. 

Let’s face it — ADHD and digital distractions go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. 

You can’t think of one without thinking about the other. We live in a world where information overload is the norm, and staying focused can feel like trying to herd cats. There’s so many times when I start one task and I’m reminded of something totally different that needs to be attended to as well and this cycle continues on until I remember the initial task. So, bookmarking let’s me (in theory) stay on task because I can just click on the little star in the browser line and stay with the initial task in the hopes that I’ll return to the interesting video, article, or news story at a future date. It’s very ambitious of me. 

On one hand, bookmarking is a lifesaver. It’s like having your own little library of knowledge at your fingertips, ready to be explored whenever you have a spare moment. It’s almost like the modern day version of a personal collection of sorts or a recent museum. But on the other hand, it can quickly turn into a digital graveyard of forgotten links, buried under the weight of new distractions and shiny objects vying for my attention. It’s not that I don’t have good intentions, but that’s just what they are. Intentions.

Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so. But fear not — I’m here to share some tips and tricks that have helped me start to reclaim control over my digital habits. I’m still a work in progress so this probably counts as an instance of a visually impaired person leading someone who lost their eyesight (the blind leading the blind).

First things first, prioritize like your life depends on it

Instead of saving every interesting link you come across, be selective. Ask yourself: Is this really worth saving? Will I actually revisit it in the future? I also like to ask myself if the link will lead to a better life and/or more money in the future. If the answer is no, then it’s probably not worth cluttering up your bookmarks with. While this isn’t a a one size fits all approach, I think it’s helpful to consider the big picture and then discard those things that don’t quite align with my goals in the future.

Next up, get organized

Create folders or categories to keep your bookmarks neat and tidy. Whether it’s by topic, urgency, or relevance, having a system in place will make it much easier to find what you’re looking for when you need it. Personally, I created an email address specifically for my ideas so that it’s easy to remind myself of tasks or things I want to read. It also gives me the ability to schedule the emails so that I receive them at times when I have a moment to open up the link and read the article(s).

Now, here’s the tricky part — actually remembering to go back and check your bookmarks

Believe me, I know how hard it can be to stay focused, especially when there’s a world of distractions just a click away. But fear not — there are tools and techniques you can use to help stay on track. Firstly, set reminders on your phone to revisit your bookmarks at designated times. Use website blockers or productivity apps to limit distractions during work or study sessions. Pay attention to your impulses and tendencies to procrastinate, and make conscious choices about how you spend your time online. Personally, I’ve found it helpful to create a 3 to 4 item to-do list when I first turn on my computer.

It keeps me focused and I start with the task that I dread the most. Getting it completed is a great feeling and I’m then more ready to keep the momentum going. So, there you have it — my journey with digital distraction, and how I’ve learned better ways to manage the bookmarking beast. It’s not always easy, but with a little bit of effort and intentionality, it’s definitely possible to take control of your digital habits and make the most of your online experience. Happy browsing!

Online Dating Isn’t for the Weak

In todays tech driven world, online dating has emerged as an avenue for meeting romantic partners. These days when you’re asking a couple how they met, the usual answer is typically that they met online in same way. And even if they didn’t meet online, there’s a good chance that the initial romantic interest was communicated through a comment or a private message on social media. However, beyond the seemingly simple act of swiping lies a complex landscape filled with hurdles and intricacies. There are unspoken rules that accompany the dating experience and the chance of rejection is quite high. But what can we do about it? People say they want love, but those same people are often the first to dip out when adversity arrives. The words sound good but the follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 

FIND THE PERFECT SCENT


One significant obstacle in online dating is the dilemma posed by having many options. With an array of dating apps and platforms, the abundance of choices can feel overwhelming. Constant swipes and clicks seem to raise the level of difficulty in finding someone who is relatively well adjusted and (dare I say it?) sane. Amidst a sea of profiles and potential matches, people often find it challenging to distinguish connections from interactions. Messages go unread for hours and days at time and initial interactions frequently are laid to rest in the DM’s. Additionally, the temptation to seek out something a click away can lead to a cycle of perpetual dissatisfaction and uncertainty. It’s almost like a gambling high of sorts. You go into a casino and you sit down at a slot machine. You play the game and as soon as you win, you want to know if you could possibly win more so you keep playing instead of cashing out. It can be an endless cycle that leads to financial ruin, or in this case, a lot of frustration and possible heartbreak. But, at the end of the day, you want to put your best foot forward and show up as attractively as possible. 

FIND OUT HOW TO LOOK BETTER ONLINE

Another prevalent issue in dating is the veil of anonymity it provides. People can make up fake names and personas that have nothing to do with the life that they live on a daily basis. Shielded behind screens, individuals can create constructed representations of themselves that showcases an idealized version while concealing vulnerabilities and imperfections.
The idea of presenting oneself as flawless can lead to doubt and disappointment as people struggle with the contrast, between their personas and real life interactions. We can have a gut feeling when someone is immediately evasive and seems to be giving very short answers to questions that are open ended. Additionally the anonymity provided by platforms can encourage individuals to behave manipulatively making it even more challenging to establish genuine connections. We may want a long term partnership, but we also don’t want to be the subject of a reality crime show. It’s a situation that tends to lend itself to some degree of paranoia. Side note: It’s never a bad idea to video chat with someone prior to meeting them in a public place. Safety first.


In a society that values gratification and quick outcomes, online dating promotes the idea of effortless romance. You can easily get sucked into the idea that your soulmate is merely swipes away and there might be some truth to that. People rarely make the effort to introduce themselves to someone in public anymore. Gone are the days when someone asks you out on a date after seeing you randomly in a grocery store. The storybook random encounter interaction is now officially solely the plot of a Hallmark movie with no basis in reality. The ease of browsing through profiles and exchanging messages swiftly can create expectations and impatience. However, the path to discovering relationships is often filled with obstacles, setbacks and false starts. 

Online dating also exposes people to the challenges of feeling rejected. The superficial nature of swipe based platforms can trigger feelings of inadequacy and self doubt as individuals are constantly judged based on their appearance and desirability. You don’t get to ask questions about why you were rejected. It’s like an unknown answer that can quickly grow from a seed of anxiety into a plant. Furthermore, behaviors like ghosting or breadcrumbing in dating norms can leave you feeling disposable and unappreciated. You feel a little bit more of your self esteem slip away with yet another person ghosting you for an unknown reason. The fear of rejection often overshadows the pursuit of connections and closeness.

READY TO JUMP INTO DATING?

Getting to know someone can be fun, but that doesn’t mean that dating is 100% fun. It’s a journey that’s filled with uncertainties, frustration, complexity, and sometimes just plain old luck. But if you win, you’ve hit it big.