People and their choices

I commented to a colleague of mine the other day that the work we do naturally makes us cynical. I’m not an expert in human behavior or personality but I’ve found that many of the clients I work with have ulterior motives. I think that’s something people don’t always want to acknowledge but it still continues to be true. There are certain times of the year where you see more people depressed because of relationships, then there’s the season of behavior problems with kids and adolescents. Somewhere in the year the presenting challenge changes to people experimenting with a new drug or hallucination with agitation. These cycles go on every year. While they aren’t always predictable, they still happen in a certain order. As I’ve said before in a previous blog, sometimes the key to not getting stuck in the dysfunction of others is to realize that you can only do so much. I can’t fix your spouse, I can’t change the fact that you’re being bullied, I can’t personally guarantee that you’ll never feel depressed again. I’ve come to the realization that life isn’t about fixing people. It’s about laying out their choices and attempting to create an environment where they feel empowered to make the right choices. And when all else fails, respecting the fact that they are ultimately the decision maker and only intervening when it’s absolutely necessary. The interesting thing is that it’s often my job to intervene. Taking away someone’s rights to make their own decisions isn’t something that’s enjoyable but it’s required. Life would be so much better for a lot of people if they took the time to think before making decisions that lead to actions when they are extremely sad, angry, or tired. But that won’t change anytime soon and as my colleagues say, I guess it’s the ultimate job security. 

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