And I think that most people would agree. There are certain times where personal space matters more than others. No one wants to be interrupted while attending to business and I can imagine that it probably happens frequently whenever two or more people have to share the same bathroom. Ask any adolescent that has gone through puberty if they’d like their own bathroom and the answer would most likely be yes. There’s just something nice about not having to share a bathroom with others.

Growing up, I had a totally opposite experience. From 1996 to 2001, we were a family of six (6) living in a 1200sq ft house that only had one bathroom. Six people, one bathroom. It was quite a time. As you can imagine, it was tough to have that many people getting ready to go out to the town, but each person needed to take a shower. I think I learned great negotiation skills through those tense moments where we had to figure out who would get dibs on the bathroom. It was an exercise in patience and compromise that I never want to revisit in that manner again.

Fast forward to couples stuff

Living together is a big step for most couples and it often means that a partners are sharing a bed and bathroom. Usually, it’s in the bigger bedroom of the house or apartment and it comes with an attached bathroom. Couples are immediately having to have conversations about preferences and shared space as they get adjusted to the feeling of having someone in their space with them all the time. Sharing a bathroom just comes with the territory. Personally, I don’t think that this situation is ideal and here’s why:

Relationships need space to breathe

Think about it. You tend to think more positive thoughts about your partner when you can spend some time apart. There’s some truth to the fact that absence makes the heart fonder. Sharing a bathroom can feel very smothering and there are just some things that happen that are guaranteed to make you lose the rose colored glasses that you might see them through. Bathrooms tend to be a reflection of our habits and personality and relationships can feel complicated and get stagnant when we get too familiar.

Space and time become more important as you get older

We become more set in our ways and our peace matters more than money. It’s hard to make adjustments after we get over a certain age. People are getting married at older ages and with that comes different expectations of relationships. Separate bathrooms can help you not to lose yourself in the midst of your relationship. You get a chance to get a sink, shower, tub and toilet to yourself to use when you’d like without any feedback from your partner. It can easily be your escape from stress and from the cares of the world. It may also be an experience you want for yourself without any feedback from your partner. 

So, the next time you’re looking for a new place with your significant other, try getting separate bathrooms. You’ll thank yourself later.