Lately I’ve been lacking motivation to work out consistently because sleep has been competing with work for my time. But that’s no excuse to not be active (or so I’m telling myself). For motivational (and curiosity) purposes I’ve been watching some of the show, “My 600lb Life.” It’s been very effective so far as a source of motivation for a healthy lifestyle. There’s something about watching someone be lifted by a crane-like device that will have you making a conscious decision to put down the junk food and go to the gym. One thing that I’m always looking at when I watch the show is the role of friends and family. Almost 100% they serve as enablers because they have to prepare the food to give to their family member who is bedridden because of their weight. There was one lady whose husband married her because she was bigger and he refused to support her weight loss despite the fact that she was unable to do anything due to her size. He still bought junk food and tried to make her eat it because he didn’t want her to lose weight. However, it was literally killing her and she wanted to be an active mother with their little girl instead of parenting from her bed. This caused an unbelievable amount of strain on the relationship as he continued to make snarky comments that were very hurtful about how she needed to gain more weight. The documentary ended with her deciding that she would take the verbal abuse for as long as she could before she would leave him. I doubt the marriage lasted long after filming because her husband had a very hard time adjusting to the new and more healthier her. I’ve actually seem this happen in couples where one partner decides to live a healthier lifestyle and it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back and the relationship disintegrates. The other partner isn’t happy and finds themselves with a different person than who they thought they married and they can’t reconcile the two. So more often than not they start an affair. That’s why it’s so great if both partners can be on the same page and change together. It rarely happens that way but it’s nice when it does because they can support each other.
Alisha, the weight and health issue you discuss as it pertains to relationships can also be applied to education and other types of self improvement. I have had many students who lost a spouse or sig other when they decided to pursue higher education. I don’t know, however, if it is about finding someone on the same page, but rather finding someone who wants what is best for you (and you for them) even if it results in change.