One thing that never fails to annoy me is when people state emphatically that people in relationships or married people have no business going to or seeking counsel from people who aren’t married. Now on the surface this perspective appears to make a lot of sense. What business do you have going to someone who isn’t in a relationship themselves to get advice? What if you followed this advice and went to someone who was actually married and their advice wasn’t sound because they could only give counsel in the context of their current situation and could only say what they would do if they were you? One of the reasons that I think that this logic is flawed is that when you apply it to other situations it makes absolutely no sense. Do you refuse to be treated by a medical professional because he or she has never experienced your particular medical challenge? Would you refuse the aid of a lifeguard when you’re drowning because he or she has never been in your predicament before? Or better yet, would you ignore a policeman or a fireman when you’re in a dangerous situation because they haven’t been in your shoes? Absolutely not. The reason why we are willing to trust these people and take their suggestions, directions, and counsel so seriously is because we believe that they have skills we don’t possess and we trust in the quality of their training. The same concept applies to therapists. If someone took the time to get the necessary education and gain the right skills, their current relationship status is irrelevant. A lot of people don’t realize the work that goes into becoming licensed to provide therapy. In addition to a master’s degree, you have to work in the field for 2 years or more after graduation and complete at least 3000 or more work hours depending on your state. I say all this to say that you should trust the training a therapist has instead of writing him or her off because they aren’t just like you. That’s stupid.

Trusting someone’s training

3 thoughts on “Trusting someone’s training

  1. carol vickers says:

    I believe every marriage requires some sort of counseling before entering into a life time commitment. People lack an understanding that a successful relationship requires skills, tools and education. That is why marriages fail and the divorce rate is so high. Couples later seek a therapist who has acquired these tools, skills and education. To say an unmarried person cannot counsel a married couple is like saying, male doctors should not deliver babies. It is the skills, tools education and experience with a particular subject, which makes a person qualify.

  2. Madame B says:

    What an excellent point. I would pick someone qualified over someone that is married. Being married DOES NOT mean that you are qualified to help my marriage succeed. Nor does being a parent mean that you yourself know what you are doing.

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